May 12, 2010
I didn't realize that today would be the last time that I'm seeing Hideko! I thought for sure that we would have breakfast again tomorrow, but she's leaving for South Carolina for a tournament tomorrow morning. Now I'm trying to decide if I want to go to Annenberg for breakfast or not tomorrow. I won't have a guaranteed eating buddy, but on the other hand I like having a full-rounded breakfast, especially the morning of my last exam. Hm. We shall see. I also have two oatmeal packets I still have to finish before I leave!
This morninng I had oatmeal (with honey and cinammon because they ran out of craisins and brown sugar) with some sliced bananas in it, which was yummy but not as good as my usual! I finished the rest of the banana with a few dabs of peanut butter. I also had a few bites of honeydew. At first I thought I wouldn't like the oatmeal so I got some grapefruit and cereal with milk too, but it was actually pretty good, and I was able to very successfully not eat everything on my tray just because it was there.
We're supposed to have lunch with Kathrine today; she got Uno's pizza, which is notoriously nutritiously awful. I stocked up on fruits (and maybe I'll even have one of my oatmeal packets beforehand...) so that I'll feel full enough with indulging too much and blowing all my caloric needs in one fell swoop. It's so close to prom now, and I'm finally starting to feel skinnier than I did a few days ago during my very fat days.
Speaking of, I was thinking about that a lot last night when I went to bed (which probably explained why I had such a hard time falling asleep). To tell you the truth, I was feeling pretty down about myself. A lot of time was spent remembering how great I felt when I was at a lower weight, and how frustrated I am that it's taking so long to get there. Things are better this morning. I have to make a commitment that I will stick to healthy eating patterns, exercise, but at the same time be forgiving towards my body and love myself in whatever size or shape I come in. No longer am I going to wait until I hit a certain number on the scale to live life to the fullest.