Repost..thanks Emily. Finally after over a month of withdrawls from HELL (which started when I started tapering) I am finally starting to feel better...day 10 was the *MAGIC* #!! As soon as the tapering was done & I was not taking any Ultracets...nothing helped with the achy-shocking-restless-all over the "frigg'n" body pain!! I continued taking the Hyland's just in case it was taking any of the edge off & alot of HOT epsom baths...to the point now the "salt" has taken off the finish of my tub..."whoops" that was the least of my worries to "'rinse" the tub out..hope the land lord doesn't notice...for those of you that feel the "anxiety", cool washcloths & a fan helps...I was having trouble with the hot baths...because I was feeling to overheated & felt like I couldnt breath...keep ice water close too!! Day 10 night I soaked the sheets from sweating all night...but at least I got sleep!! I was afraid to get up bc I wasn't having any achy fatigue pain & was afraid I got up it would start...didn't want to end a good thing...just piled on more blankets =) For every one out there just go-day-by-day....that's what I kept having to my self...& if you believe in God PRAY... the last night I finally tryed some deep breathing techniques & what little I know about bio-eedback from a stress management class I had taken about 10 yrs ago... visualizing the pain going away...leaving my body..then rebuked the pain...it left ...Coincidence or not I thanked GOD!! I still have no energy...& my arms are still heavy..but not the 50 lb. sand bags that seemed to be on my shoulders...still have insomnia..have only slept about 12-14 hours in the past 12 days. I went 4 days finally got sleep early morning for about 5 1/2 hours...a few hr naps...then went another 4days and slept off & on all night...can't even nap now!! Does anyone know what causes this to go on for so long...at first it was because of the epinepherine thing...like I drank "rock star" energy drinks...now I don't feel wired I just can not sleep...I guess as long as the pain, restless, & anxiety doesnt return then it won't be as bad..& I'll deal...I keep feeling just a "twinge" of the restlessness & the wierd sensation that races through my body with loud noises & PRAY for it NOT to come back...took the Hyland's tonight "just in case" !!!! Unbelievable how these "little" pills can mess with your body in such a "big" way!! Doctors have wanted to do MRI's for tumors...sleep studies...pysch evaluations....everything but admit to this being because of withdrawals & helping me through this in a safe way...my pain clinic Dr.s response after we told him that the ER Dr. & PCP Dr. said it could be from the Ultracets....I am a pain certified doctor which specializes in pain control and you can not withdrawal from this medicine especially at the low dose prescribed!! I had even kept a log of when I took the Ultracet & symptoms as I was tapering....I do NOT understand these docs!! We are all more "certified" in the subject of Tramadol withdrawal than any doctors...if only they would LISTEN to US!! Good luck everyone & hang in there...there is an end to it all....just day by day!! Hopefully the day will come when I feel 100%...but for right now today is good...
Hi guys. I’m on day 45, and until today, I haven’t even been having cravings lately. I’ve come down with a nasty virus though, and I guess the symptoms are reminding me of withdrawal. It’s making me really want to take something to “feel better”. I’m not going to of course, but I wanted to just put it out there. I’m just going to get some extra rest and hope to feel better fast!
Tramwarrior: I agree with those who said that TOO slow of a taper is just prolonging the torture, at least that’s how it seemed for me. I’ve been off (very briefly) several times, so I’ve tried it both ways. It seems that the super slow taper makes it take WAY longer and only slightly reduces the severity. I guess everyone’s circumstances are different though. I’m glad your SO has your support though. That makes ALL the difference in the world : )
Jen: Your orthopedic doc sounds pretty smart. Good for you : ) It also sounds like you’re being really smart and proactive about all of this. Chronic pain is a tricky thing. I have RA also – have since I was little. Actually, now I have what’s called Mixed Connective Tissue Disease, which for me, is a lovely combo of systemic lupus, RA, and sjogren’s syndrome. It makes being an addict even more complicated. You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders though, so I think you’ll handle it well. You might want to look into an anti-inflammatory diet and supplements too – they help me tremendously. Send me a message if you want more info about it or just want to talk : )
Bode: congratulations on the 5 months! That is wonderful : )
Hope: Good luck sweetie. Just hang in there and don’t give up. I KNOW you can do this.
Wishful: Good luck and be careful with the suboxone. Keep posting – I know you can get through this.
xPete: I understand your fears of having done permanent damage. I had messed up my liver and kidneys and also sent myself into serotonin syndrome, so I was pretty worried. Now, my liver and kidneys are back to normal, and I’m feeling good again (except for having a crummy virus right now). I’ve just had to build my health back up day by day.
James: I’m glad you didn’t fall into the internet trap. That’s when things seem to get REALLY out of control. Your stomach should start getting better soon. I remember how messed up mine was at first. Peppermint tea and bananas (not at the same time of course: ) really helped me get through. Hang in there. It all gets better!!!!
TH: Hope today is better!
Diane, Chell & Beth – I’m glad you are all still doing well : )
Hello peeps! I hope everyone is enjoying their day today!
Christina....congrats on 45 days! I had 60 days yesterday and had awful cravings....go figure?? You are not alone!
James, I am glad you are feeling more like yourself. Feels good, huh?
Chell, I remember SO well the feeling of dragging something when I walked. It was like walking in quick sand and then turned to something more like mud. Over time, it has gotten much better, but I still have my moments.
Like I said, I had 60 days, yesterday! I still have bad times here and there, but I refuse to let this junk have another day of my life, and I refuse for any whole day to be bad!!! We can start our day over anytime we need or want to.....remember that!!!
Having a tough night....Have gone v.close to taking tablet but
resisting with shower, some heat cream + paracetemol....
My back injury is extremely painful & making it difficult to
function on any level. Unfortunately for me, Tramadol works
as pain relief...Christana33 I think you almost perfectly
describe my dilemma in your response to Jen. It would seem
everywhere I look I see pain & previously @ this junction I return
to Tramadol & around the cycle goes again.
Pete...I know how you feel, but do whatever you have to do to keep from taking anything, ok? Do you have a heating pad? That might help your back and relax you some. Try putting a pillow under your knees (if on your back) or between your knees (if on your side). That takes pressure off the back.
Just keep posting if you can't sleep. It's still daytime here!!! : )
Feeling some relief...it is 4.28am & pain tablets have kicked
in & have just heated a wheat bag. Reckoning that I am okay
& as you said in an earlier post...'we can start our day over anytime
we need or want to'...a valuable insight.
I hope you're all still trudging the road
to tram free destiny!
I've been having a rough week.
My heart rate is constantly over 95,
even when I first wake up. I have a nuclear
stress test scheduled for Monday, but
I'm so afraid I'm going to keel over. It's
become obvious it's not the utlram wds,
ritalin, or caffeine. They don't help, but
it's still really fast without them. Arghh.
I want to exercise to feel better, but I'm
scared. I am beginning to think what they
say about ultram clogging your arteries
I'm on day 17 of 100% tram free. I went back
and recounted, so this time is FOR REAL:-D
My shrink prescribed me some zoloft
and vistaril for the next few days...I guess zoloft
is used off label for immediate relief of adhd symptoms.
My adhd comes with anxiety, so they have to keep
it under control, and felt vistaril was safe.
I sure hope I get me straightened out soon!
I read all the posts, and I know the newbies are in
great hands, there's always someone on here to
help, I really do think this board saved my butt
in acute wds.
hey their i think if it wasnt for this thread i would still be using this stuff you know you sit and you wonder why do the folks doctors that is give us this stuff their not stupid you know but if i had know then what i know now i would of said no thanks but you know hind site is 20 20 and thank you very much christina i hope i can go 45 days like you i mowed all day today and you know i do feel better now the trouble statrs the idle time ya know but oh well hope you all have a great evening and good luck to you all bye for now
Day 13....Had a bad day today- this afternoon- felt overwhelmed and depressed- really wanted to take a tram again. It is so weird how this just comes and goes- one minute I fell great and the next I am walking is quicksand and feeling horrible again- when this happens here comes the sneezing, tiredness, depression, and irritability. I did not take one, but I sure thought about it. I am hoping to do better tomorrow. What a hard thing this is!! I feel like such a BIG BABY, but It is just really hard not to just go back to taking them sometimes when I know they energy would return and my mood woudl lift- for a minute-but then I realize it is temporary- it would be back to counting pills, wanting more pills, feeling horrible on the trams but still taking them. I just need more time to recover. The recovery is slow, but I am in truth feeling much better over all. Today was just bad. Yesterday though was really good!
James- you are doing great!! Keep up the good work. It will keep getting better for us all- we just must be strong!!
Lisa- Hope you get things figured out. Keep us posted
Pete- hang in there- you really are almost thru the worst part. The RLS is terrible- I still have it a little at night, but it is better every day.
Christina- you are my inspiration!
TH- thank you for your support. I dont know what any of us would do without your encouragement!! It reallymeans a lot.
Here's hoping for a good night sleep for everyone (in the US- since we are going to bed soon :) and a good day for those in other parts of the world! How cool it is that we can all help each other through this but live all over the place!
Actually I was just thinking about it and the last 2 times I tried to stop the Trams, it was at 2 weeks off the trams that I took just one to feel better! This is where I am right now. Yikes!! Hopefully I have learned my lesson!! This must be my vulnerable time. Things are soon to get much better once I pass this mark!!
Beth I remember those symptoms coming and going like that. OH....it drove me crazy! I still have phases of fatigue. No sneezing or creepy crawleys though and no RLS! You are at a real turning point right now. It will get to a point soon that you won't remember when that "quick sand feeling" hit you last! Just wait...you'll see! : )
Lisa could the adderall be making the heartrate high?
James you are doing well. Don't get discouraged, ok?
Christina thank you! It does feel like I have accomplished something.....FINALLY!
thanks tramahater i am trying not to but i want some so bad i cant stand it but i am trying trust me i dont want to ever to feel dependent on a pill ever again other than a miracle cure or something then sign me up beth please dont take one i am looking to you for help since your farther along than me and i am so proud of you. You wouldnt bleive how much you have helped me hope you all have a great evening
I am feeling SO much better today!! Horray!! I really cant explain what happened yesterday afternoon, but I went into a funk and feeling very very depressed. Naturally I was having peopel over for supper and that really made it worse- man was I a horrible hostess. BUT it is gone today and I feel much better. I will NOT go back to the pills not matter what, but wow I did have some cravings yesterday. Cravings gone today- yea!! I got out and did yard work and laundry this morning- off work today. Thanks to everyone out there being so supportive of me. I am at Day 14 now, and like TH says- it is slow, but I am feeling better every day. My husband and I are taking a trip to sunny FL tomorrow, so I am think the R&R will help my recovery- less stress on vacation :) I am taking my laptop so I will post some there and see how everyone is doing.
Hang in there James- you are doing great!!! DONT GIVE IN to the cravings- I havent and I am SOOOO glad!! Set your mind on the fact that you are DONE living with the pills!! You are now free!!
TH- I am amazed at your strength and to get to day 60!! Awesome!! I cant wait to be there!! It helps so much for you to share how it went for you. We are all different in some ways, but we all share this addiction and recovery process that has many common factors. Thanks for all your wisdom!!
Everyone just keep up the fight against this addiction that has taken over your life!! Go Tram Warriors!!
hey their beth i hope you have a great trip and enjoy the time away might give your mind and body time to recover couldnt hurt right so far today is not to bad going to work in the yard some hope i make it through another day have a great day everyone
What a trip! I recently joined this forum here & saw the tramadol link, and woe, I am seeing what a vital deal it is here & how it affects people. I recently turned the big 40, and my resolution is "no more doctors". I had 7 surgeries 3 in a half years ago which led me to addiction like never before to opiates. I have had the vicodin/soma/valium/pot cocktail going for way too long. Then I got clean this past summer, then relapsed. I used to be able to keep pills around & not take them, but I guess this dis-ease can be progressive & it sure has been with me.
About the Tramadols...Well, today is my 1st day DONE with the vicodins. No more in my house & don't plan to get anymore, however I have 3 full bottles of tramadol in my stash right now, & today to start my day...(normally it would've been 3 or 4 vics), I took 3 tramodols...(50mg each).. It is actually helping me feel ok right now & is knocking the opiate craving down some.
I also have Suboxone and a prescription for Celexa which I have never taken before...this time, I may take the Celexa, since I only have a 3 month supply of that antidepressant & promised myself no more doctors no matter what when this crap is out of my house. I just don't have it in me to flush it. Heck no. I'll admit, I'm not there yet. I tried locking it,...(it used to work..,not anymore)...
I am going to be out of benzos soon & am also aware of the bad effects of mixing tramadol with celexa if I were to take the Celexa.
Just for today, I am dealing with my addiction the best I can....but reading this about the tramadol has led great insights to me. Thank you for what I have heard here. Much luck to all who are struggling with this as I am. Blessings... Vanessa
I AM SO PROUD of you for not taking any trams during this time!
Every time I have a bad day I remember, the next one is always
better than the last batch of weird days. It's like it takes a bad day
to get to better days? Hope I made sense,lol...
today my heart rate spiked to 160 bpm and I wasn't even doing
anything...no ritalin, nothing. I really do think I have an underlying
condition I've had for awhile and ignored. No more ignoring!
Venesa, and anyone trying to kick this stuff in acute WD:
You can do this. You will be so happy you did.
In case TH didn't get this to you yet:
Stock up on these, to have around:
highland leg crams with quinine
magnesium calcium supplement
anti inflammatory for the pain check interactions
check out the Thomas Recipe, it's easy to find
if you click on MY MED HELP at the upper right
hand corner of this page and then look at the
posts on the right side of the page there, you
should see it and some other really helpful posts
You can do this!
I'm feeling almost normal today.
I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, though...
I actually woke up this morning and started
in with my house stuff and didn't even remember
I wasn't feeling good from this.
Vanesa, please do not mix the tram and celexa. Very dangerous, ok? You could die. No kidding! Especially with you stopping benzos around the same time.
Three trams is too many to take if you don't have a tolerance. If you are using them to stop opiates, then you are playing with fire and making a deal with the devil. I would rather come off vicodin anyday. You are going to have WDs at some point no matter what, so might as well not get tramadol involved, right? : ) It is a killer!
Also benzos have to be tapered. Don't do cold turkey with those! Taper them with a plan given to you by a doctor. That is nothing to play with. I have been through it, and it is horrible without help!
I found a stray pill in the bottom of a drawer while I was cleaning today! I thought about taking it, but only for a split second. I still feel crummy from this cold, and for a second I thought - it's just one. What can it hurt? Then I realized how stupid it would be and how it was TOTALLY not worth it. I threw it away, and that was huge for me. I survived a sneak attack unscathed : )
James: You're doing great! Keep posting.
Beth: I'm glad you're feeling better : )
Lisa: You sound great!
Venesa: Be careful!! T.H. is right. Getting off tramadol is SO much harder than regular opiates, and I seriously almost died from mixing them with an antidepressant. DON'T DO IT!!!
Christina, I am so proud of you girl! You did so good. It would NOT have been worth it, ya know? You would have felt guilty and had to start that clean-time clock all over again! Now you don't have to, and I am just proud as can be of you! They are hard to resist, but it can be done! We didn't go thru this crap for nothing, did we?
James, Lisa....doing wonderful! Keep up the good work. It pays off in the end! You will be so happy that you did this and got away from the tramadevil!
Beth....Have fun! Let us know how you are doing! You deserve this vacation!
hey thanks christina you are way more stronger than i would of been i tell you that way to go thanks tram i am trying my best if i can ever get over this stupid feeling ya know like i am missing something i think i will be ok and thank you all for your help you dont even know what it means to me ty
Christina- It is soooo tempting to take that one you find- isn't it- even if it is just for a second. You did great. I have found them everywhere- in small places in my purse, my car, my desk at work- I have them stashed all over the place. lol. But I think we have to just do the FLUSH- with each one we find- get rid of it!! The flushing is really a ceremony of freedom from these devil pills that want to hold us hostage with their lies. I am so proud that you resisted!!
Lisa- Thanks for the encouragement. It is weird how the really bad days are followed by a new level of good!! I had a great day today. Hope you get your HR issue figured out. Sounds like maybe something unrealted to your WD perhaps. If your rate stays that high for very long, you should call your cardiologist. Try the thump again :)
James- you are doing great! Keep up the good work. I can tell you are committed to be free and you will succeed!
TH- you are so right- we are not going through all this for nothing- just to go right back into a big mess.
Venessa- Be very careful in what you are doing. You may need to find the right doctor- sounds like maybe you have had some bad experiences with your MD. Try another one and keep trying till you find one that will helpa nd guide you off this stuff.
I had a really good day today- Day 14 off- my 2 weeks anniversary!! I hope everyone has a really good evening!
James- I know how you feel, but that feeling does get better. At first I felt like time was just creeping along and I did not feel like doing anything anyway. But today I actually kept myself busy all day and it felt so good! I did not even think about taking the trams. You will get there too!! Hang in there. Get busy - go mow your grass again :) You wont feel better by taking one- you will just be back in the trap and the lies of it all. Your energy will come back soon- just keep on track and force yourself to do anything to keep your mind even alittle busy- clean out a closet! lol
lol i would mow again but my wife thanks i am crazy anyway for the way i mow the yard lol and you dont want to even see my closets lol i hope you have a great time on your trip i am going to miss you i am trying trust me to not take another one day 7 for me i think i dont want to ever go through what i have went through in the last week ever again thank you for helping me and all of you thanks again
James, don't let these days go to waste! I remember being in your shoes. Now, 2 months later, I just now sat down from running around most of the day, and I'm exhausted!!! So, it doesn't go on forever. You will start feeling better and staying busy soon! Just be patient with yourself. I know it is hard!
hey thanks tram for the encourgement i need it i am not going to do this ever again least i hope not just idle time you know is hard and no energy to do anything isnt good either but look at you all going and going just as strong as before if you all can do it i can thats the way i looked at boot camp years ago and it worked if that guy can take it i can it helps here also so thanks again i need all the help i can get
hey i am trying it dont know if it will help but worth a shot feel pretty good this morning still have an urge but not as bad as it has been you all are right their is a light at the end of that tunnel thanks again
Hey guys. I'm feeling a little down today - not my usual super-happy self, but I'm trying to accept things as they come. I used to think that if I didn't at least pretend to be happy I was going to disappoint everyone or something. I usually AM a pretty positive person, but I guess no one can be positive all the time (without drugs anyway:) I'm still super sick. I broke a fever last night and woke up at 4 a.m. soaked with sweat. This is SO much like withdrawal all over again!! I'm sure I'll be in a better mood when I start to feel a little better. I also got into an argument with my husband yesterday. We hardly ever fight - probably because I usually go along with everything - but now that my brain is clear, that's not so easy to do. We got through it and things are okay, but I HATE conflict!!! It's always easier to just go along, but I'm realizing that sometimes it's important to stand up for certain things. It's all a learning experience I guess. I did get some good news too - my grades are in for the semester and I got all A's (despite this tramadol roller coaster) so my GPA is still intact. I also got a call from the dean about a research project I was hoping to get in on - I'm in and I'm not in grad school yet so it's a HUGE honor. Of course that's what caused the argument with my husband but I'm still excited about it. I feel like I'm getting to know myself - maybe for the first time - and I guess he needs time to adjust too. Sorry if this isn't making sense. I'm feeling a bit rambly and think my fever is rising again : (
Beth: Congrats on hitting the two week mark!!! Have an awesome vacation!! You deserve it : )
James: You'll get through this - just force yourself (gently) to stay as busy as you can - it will help. You're doing great by the way!! The St. Johns Wart might help if you have an underlying depression, but only if it's pharmaceutical grade. There's no real oversight on natural supplements, so just keep an eye on the quality of the stuff you’re getting or you'll just be wasting your money.
TH: Thanks for your encouragement. It means more than you know today : )
Christina, congrats on the project! You're a smart girl! And it IS an honor!
What you are saying was one of the biggest obstacles I had when coming off of drugs and probably one of the reasons I relapsed so many times. I "needed" to be perfect everyday. In the best mood, the life of the party, never a down moment, always smiling and positive....and so on! I lived that way for so long that I didn't know how to be just "ok". I'm learning, but it is honestly still hard! I am usually positive, but when I'm not.....I AM NOT! Get over it. Right? It's ok. You are harder on yourself than anyone else would DARE be! And so am I. It is perfectly ok to have an off or bad day. We all do it. It's better than using to have a good day. Here's a saying for both me and you.......The worst day sober is better than the best day using! Remember that....and quit being such a perfectionist!!! We will try to recover from our perfectionism together, ok?!!!!!!!!!!!!! : ))
hey christina thanks i am trying i hope you have abetter day today then you did yesterday i think i am going to get our atvs out of the barn and go to ride some might take my mind off things and i got a little good news today i got accepted into the va so that helps so good luck to you all talk to you soon bye for now
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tramadol i dont know if you have ever read t his but i did last nite kinda helped understand things more and just to see what we were taking and why it did what it did kinda explains things so good luck to you christina and you to tram and beth you all are my insperation to get as far as you all have have a great day
Hello, today is Friday 5/14/10. I have never posted before. My wife and I have been reading for the last few weeks or so. We are in the Tramadol Hell as most of you are or have been. We take about 300mg a day each. We are WELL AWARE of the withdrawl symptoms. Our addictive history has seen alot of drugs, and happy to say we have overcome all of them. Our last was getting off Vicodin,.....we used Tramadol, without knowing what we know now......By far Tramadol has been the worst that we have come up against. We are planning on withdrawing this next weekend, 5/22, 5/23. I am planning on taking a couple of sick days off work (mon. tue.) We plan on visiting a Doc., and explaining everything to him/her, and asking for some prescrips, maybe some Valium or Xanax. I absolutely cant take more than 4 days off work (sat.sun.sick--mon.tue.) We have some Vicodin on hand that we will use if needed, knowing that vics are not a problem. Our questions are this,....Are other prescriptions usefull in getting through the withdrawal???!!! Can I realisticlly get back to work in four days??!! Thank you for this website, and all your postings, we have benifited from reading them.....I wish we would have learned of this drug before we started taking it. It is a TERRIBLE drug!!!! Warn anyone thinking of taking this drug, we do, never take it. Thank you
Hello, My wife and I would like to give our 2cents worth.
to Venessa: We were in the same boat as you, as far as the vicodin. We started taking Tramadol to get off the vics, and it helped alot. It took away the craving and alowed us to still have the energy that we're used to. This is our opinion, DONT take the Tramadol! If you try and stop the trams, you will go through the worst withdrawls, far more than vics withdrawl. Vicodin was more mental and emotional more craving, but trams will be more physical and terrible.
TRAMHATER had it right!! we both agree with him/her.
Here's my take on your situation, for what it's worth. Since you have had a problem with vicodin before (I used to also!) then I wouldn't make that part of my detox meds. That will just put the WDs off a little, but you will eventually have to just do it! You have a very good idea on going to the doc, spilling it and getting some help. That is best. I ended up having to also go on an antidepressant, and it helped me a lot. To answer your question...by day 4 you should be somewhat better, but it will take a little longer than that to feel well enough to do much of anything. Depends on your job and what you do. I would ask for some clonidine. It's a BP med and greatly reduces the WDs without being habit forming. I have much experience with it. It works. Also, I would stock up on Immodium, Epsom Salt, Advil, a heating pad, Gatorade, Hyland's Leg Cramps and comfy clothes! It will be a rough few days, but you have support here if you want it!!!!
Caba and wife WELCOME! In answer to your question about prescription meds to help w/d ---I got an rx for clonidine
this is a blood pressure medication that is useful in opiate w/d (without the addictive qualities) although it should not be stopped suddenly....it helps with the anxiety and sleeplessness...just know that Tram is more complex than opiates...it has an antidepressant included (no extra charge!) but it sure charges the w/d
keep going james, christina, TH, moongirl, beth , vanessa, pete
Cabelerro: I agree with the above suggestions 100%. Clonidine is very helpful. If you can only take 4 days off for wd, I would taper as much as you can stand to between now and then. Best of luck to both of you!!
Christina...feeling bad, still? I'm sorry honey! Feel better, ok? Don't take a pill! : ) Good advice about tapering. As much as they possibly can will help a little.
I found 3 pills in my dryer today! They were rolled up in a pair of socks that I had packed in an overnight bag a long time ago. I had found them and stuck them in my sock drawer a few weeks ago, I think?? Anyway, I took the socks out and put them in the dryer to warm them up and put them on. (trick when you are cold!!!) When I heard something popping around, I opened the dryer and SURPRISE!
hey cabalerro i quit cold turkey just because i ran out before my next refill and it sucked trust me but i was allready here reading like you and thought boy i need off this stuff i really really liked the feel of tram in me but i was ok without them before so i said shoot if these folks can do it i can also its hard hard but you can do it just stay comitted and do your best look here for help and support you will get it because i have and it has really been a big help because only me and you all know i am dealing with this and its hard to do alone so good luck to you all and thank thank you everyone very much
Well, I am glad I found this site. This is my first time to be addicted to anything and I have become a better person because of it. I have been on tramadol for about three months and I have to say when I first took it The eurphoria was un believeableand the effects would last for a day at a time. I had been going through bouts of depression and unbelieveable anxiety. I lost my Dad in november of 2008. we were best friends and even though he had had a long 7 yrs of going down hill(vascular demetia) HE WAS STILL MY HERO. The first few months of loosing him was a relief because I knew he knew what he was going through and he hated being that way. Then about 3 months later after he passed I began to have some catching up to do. I heard a man once say you never really become a man until you loose your father. Its true. I finally went to seek physical and mental help with partial help. Then I came across a tooth ache. Well you can guess what happened next. I tried some tram and could not believe how much better the world felt. Toothache gone, DEPRESSION GONE, ANXIETY GONE. ONDERDRUG!! For a while. Then. DEVIL DRUG. IM SICK OF IT. But I still fantisize about the first few weeks I took it. Then I remember how bad I felt before I decided to quite. Ive been on a modified taper. At my height I was on 300mg per day most of the time 200mg per day but I could see how it was grabbing hold of me. So since Wed 05/12/09 7am 200mg, 05/13/10 1pm 200mg, 05/12/14 150 present and I gonna try to go ct from here one minute at a time. If I only make till the morning Ill only take 100mg. pray for me.
Everyone: Thank you all for speeking your wisdom in this area of our addiction. This site is very helpfull in many ways. We will be taking all of this to heart, and talking with the doc about these suggestions. Thank you.
Russell07: So sorrry to hear that you have yourself in the same situation as any of us who have used trams. Also so sorry to hear about your dad. We hope you can sleep tonight. In our experience, any pills less than what our bodies are used to taking throws us into withdrawal. People here know what they are talking about. We hope you find some comfort in knowing we are in the same boat. If all else fails, try going to a doctor to see if they can provide you with something to help with w/d. My wife and I will be seeing a doctor this coming week for help.
hey guys im doing good...tomorrow is day 3 on the sub...read my journals and comment them if you get a chance....u guys are awesome and i cant stress enough how you are the one who brought me to getting the help i needed....physically i feel ok, emotionally so so, im going to a na meeting on monday and im trying to decide if i should do the two week program, its outpatient but its 8 hours a day just pretty much counseling, while im on the suboxom,...what do u guys think?
good morning thought i would say helloo i feel pretty good this morning but i usually do its the late evenings that kill me but i am doing ok this is day8 for me and not doing bad at all right at this moment good luck to you all and yes you can do it dont be afraid you can do it and this forum helps alot trust me it did me thanks again
I'm STILL sick! It's quite a nasty cold/upper respiratory infection. I'm still as hyper and spastic as usual (mentally), but I'm too worn out to do anything. I'm just hanging out watching movies and hoping to feel better SOON.
Sasha: Glad to hear from you!
T.H.: Tram in the dryer? Bet you didn't expect that one : )
James: So glad you're feeling better!
Russell: Sorry for your loss. A lot of us turned to tramadol because it made us feel better about some other issue. Good luck on getting off these nasty things!! I know you can do it : )
Cabelerro: Good luck guys!
Wishful: The outpatient program sounds like a great idea. If you can, I would go for it!
Pete: Hang in there!! It will get better.
I would send hugs, but I'm a walking biohazard right now : )
Hello fellow Tram warriors! Today is day 32 without Tram for me. I would say the last 5 days have been great, partially because I was finally able to sleep (except last night but I was worried about my son, a NORMAL person's sleepless night). So I went to the ENT and an Audiologist about the ringing in my ears and my hearing and tests were all normal (great as a matter of fact). The doctor said that ears are extremely sensitive to chemicals and yes, it could still be Tram. He also thought maybe some of the many supplements I have been taking since going off Tram might be part of it. So, if anyone does run into this issue, know you are not alone! I am starting to slow down on the supplements as I feel my body is getting back to normal and hopefully this will help end the ringing.
To all of you new folks to this site, and those attempting to get off the Tram monster, you can do it!! However you choose to do it, as long as you take less than you did previously and eventually take none, you will get there! It is soooo worth it to be back to life without Tram and all the tram thinking. I am thinking of all of you and sending you my best wishes.
Christina, I hope you are better! And congrats, great grades; even in the midst of withdrawal :)
Ok I have taken tramadol (ultrums) for years.. They always worked pretty decently for pain then me being the addict that I am noticed that if you pop 8 tablets all at once or 7 boy you really do not feel much pain and you feel a lil bit a of a buzz which of course is what i was looking for but not like lortab or vicoadan or percs or oxy's it was very mild and i didnt itch.. I would take a bottle of 200 ultrums and they would be all gone within 2 weeks. if that.. i never not once in my life got a single withdrawal from tramadol but yes i did coming off heroin or percocets or methadone which i am on that now.. tramadol no way did i get a tiny withdrawal symtom but everyone is different how addicted was everyone that they expericineced this withdrawal thing with ultrums???????????? i mean i was taking like i said a bottle of 200 in almost less than 2 weeks...
Hello everyone, we are still here. Starting tomorrow, we are cutting back on our Tram intake. We have been at 6 tabs (50mg.) or more a day. Monday we will be cutting back to 4 tabs a day. Tuesday will be 4 also. Wednesday and Thursday will be 3. Then Friday will be the last day we take those DAMN Devil pills.
We are planning to visit the Doc. together on Tue.or Wed. We will be talking about Clonidine, Valium for help with withdrawls.
Roundabout: You mentioned that Trams and Valium were not good. Can you elaborate on that?? Bad experience? Also remember that we will be off the Trams at that point. Still in system, but not taking any more.
Pammy71: Holy crap!! Wow! ...S#it, F*@k, Damn!....Be very thankfull that you did not have the withdrawls that many people have. We probably speek for many people. We wish we did not have this reaction to taking these pills.
Again : Thank you!! We feel comforted by this site, and all of you.
After a difficult Day10 withdrawal form both Tramadol &
valium, I have had a productive day @ work & also my head
feels a bit clearer. Possibly my best day thus far.
As with Tramadol+valium I have found withdrawal extremely
gruelling. Had a look at website 'benzo.org.uk' which is based
upon the amazing work of Professor Heather Ashton & in
hindsight I would have been better to have tapered the valium
withdrawal. However, having toughed it out, I am not going back.
I recommend this site & also to 'youtube' her as explains her
approach in 3 different segments. She has 30+years of experience
& most of her work is based on direct experience with patients.
Interestingly for me is that I didnt see the valium as my problem
but tracking back I have realised that I have been taking them
for 4years for chronic back pain. As many of us do I was fooled
into thinking that my 'low' dosage (& under dr direction) didnt
pose too many problems. WRONG! Also I remember now that
my father had a valium problem in the 80's & the difficult he had
getting back on track. Sometimes we think we are somehow
different & beyond over-dependence. WRONG again...
I'm wondering if the people who say they never had withdrawals from tramadol were taking other pills at the same time that would have masked them - say, an antidepressant, other opiates, or benzos... just curious. I've withdrawn from much "harder" stuff in the past - including heroin - and the tram withdrawal was AT LEAST as bad and it lasted longer!! Benzo and alcohol withdrawal is more dangerous, but tramadol wd is pretty brutal - I wouldn't minimize the pain of this addiction - it is very real. An addict is an addict - the substance of choice is irrelevant.
P.S. I'm STILL pretty sick, but I'm hanging in there and trying not to whine too much : )
Diane: you're doing great! I hope they figure out the ear ringing. My husband has tinnitus, and it drives him crazy. I've heard it's really annoying.
Hey guys! Haven't been on much. I pulled a muscle or something and am miserable!
Christina....DITTO! I have withdrawn from just about every opiate, and tram was much worse. The above poster is obviously not speaking about something he/she knows anything about. I always try to watch out and not talk about things that I do not know anything about.....makes me look ridiculous!
Hello Fellow Tram Warriors..back from trip..today is 19 days off the evil stuff...havent had time to go back and read all the posts but hello to all my wonderful friends...old and new..if you are new ..welcome..there will always be a light on the porch for you here!! can someone just give me quick explanation of PAWS...im doing pretty good with exception of gut stuff..i know immodium is recommended..but just wonder how far out this withdrawal form can go..i guess there's really no answer as everyone is different.
Anyways...congratulations to all of you who continue to recover ..you are all my heroes...and to all of those lurking..reading..stay with us..this is "no shame" ...safe place to be..
Love, hugs and so much gratitude...
hey everyone im doing great today is 4 days clean!! im on the sub it has helped me...tonight i am going to a NA meeting, depending on if i like it i am thinking of starting the 2 week program i was telling u guys about tomorrow...i have no desire to take a pill and i have a little bit of cravings im sure the cravings will get wose but im just trying to stay strong and im so happy that its been 4 days!!!! thats a lifetime in drug days haha
Christina: thanks for thinking of me im doing really good, have no desire to take a pill and even if i did it would do nothing to me since im on the sub and it would kick me out of the program!!
grandma: hope u had a great trip, loook forward to speaking with u soon.
James: hope ur doing good today write me when u get a chance
MEGATRON: u need to have a little bit less of a attitude in ur posts, just because u didnt get addicted to tram doesnt mean no one can. I have experienced incrediable dependency on trams and withdrawal!! so if ur gonna try to make us feel stupid please dont post in this thread! thanks!
wishful- nice note to mega- we don't need that message here.....
you are doing great and Sub is a wonderful w/d option I am glad you have the flexibility to do the program keep going!
Pat- 19 days yahoo!!
how are you feeling?
TH- Hello! How are you?
thanks for keeping up your posts--- friends old and new here....
Cristina- nice work on the school! sorry you are still sick
I read posts and am so proud of all of you
Cabe and wife- you have a great plan......keep posting we are here for you!
The reason megatron did not have any WD is because likely they replaced one drug with another.
None of us would have had WD if we took opiates in place of tramadol. or vice versa.
It sounds like megatron has always had some type of drug in his system.
I do not think you are trying to be rude,but are puzzled why you did not have serious WD from trams.
It is likely because you had other opiates in your system
Try to WD with NO drugs except vitamins and then let us know if you have symptoms.
Hey everyone! Hope you are having a great, great night! Or day....wherever you are?!!! I didn't have much time earlier, so I wanted to check in and see what was going on here.
Pharma....Good point, as always!
Sasha....I'm good! I don't see you on here much. Work must be keeping you busy?!
Wishful....Let us know how the meeting goes. Remember if you don't like it, there are more out there! Keep looking! : )
Ms. Pat....Big congrats on your clean time! Whoohoo!! I'm glad you are back from your trip! PAWS are the symptoms you will have after the acute phase of WD. Like....lingering insomnia or trouble sleeping, stomach issues, anxiety, fatigue. Some things that are annoying but nothing like the first week! FOR SURE!
James, Pete, Lisa, Beth??? You guys ok? I'm cheering for all of you!!! : )
Christina, honey I hope you are feeling better soon! Bless your heart!
Diane...congrats to you on your Month+ clean time! Way to go!
Everyone else......love, hugs and cheering you on!
Wow. I guess there are trolls on every forum! Ignore, ignore. It's the only way to make them disappear.
I'm starting my 12th week without trams. Amazing.
The odd thing in retrospect is how many symptoms and problems I put up with before I finally quit, and how out of touch with reality I was-even though I didn't know it.
Major night sweats became almost routine. I somehow thought they were part of getting older...?
Sneaking pills around the corner at grocery stores and traveling (so my wife wouldn't see me) became an art form. She also wondered why I took my "man-bag" to the restroom every time. I took them to get up in the morning, to go to movies, parties, traveling, you name it.
My "Brain-zaps" DID worry me, but I never attributed them to my Tram usage. It wasn't until I started reading forums like this one that I realized Tramadol was actually giving me mini brain seizures. Towards the end I was also getting severe dizzy spells several times a week. Again, I thought I was just getting older. Sometimes I thought I was dying...
Because I was so hyped on the trams I ended up taking Xanax almost every night to get to sleep. I was also taking ibuprofen to help relax my muscles and it gave me an ulcer.
Now, I am WAY more focused at work. I never felt like the trams were affecting my thinking or focus-in fact they made me feel more alert (I thought) but after a month off of them the truth became apparent-both to me and my wife. I was less stressed, less touchy about minor things, and I'm just more "present" in general. The Trams had me in a "fog" that I wasn't even aware of till I came out of it.
I am sleeping better, (finally!) feeling more relaxed, my blood pressure has gone down, life is definitely better on the other side!
FYI- I took Trams daily for about ten years. I tapered for about a month-which I found effective after so many years usage. I also came "clean" to everyone including my doctor, my wife, my friends and the support I received was invaluable. This forum was extremely helpful as well. Just knowing I wasn't alone in this addiction really helped.
hey their tram i am still here and kicking this is day 8 for me and i am getting back to my old self slowley but i am trying i am still having cravings but by not going out and getting anymore helps that when you dont have a stash to run to kinda keeps things in check you know but its still hard to sleep but it is getting better and jason you done real good i hope i can get their myself thank everyone of you all again it really helps to have someone to tal to who understands you know thank thank thank you
James, 8 days is great! What an accomplishment. You may not sleep well for awhile, but the worst of the WDs are over....as long as you don't ever take another one! : )
You may have (in addition to some trouble sleeping) fatigue, appetite problems, stomach not quite right, mild anxiety or depression, problems regulating body temp......those are a few of the things I can think of off hand. They do get better, but you may not notice a huge daily improvement. I always tell everyone to try to judge their improvement by the week. That is not as discouraging as trying to notice "feeling better" everyday! That doesn't usually happen. Most of us agree that it doesn't necessarily get better each day like the WDs from other drugs. You may have a couple of good days, and then BAM....bad one! That may go on for a bit.
Just letting you know what to expect, but everyone is different!
the NA meeting was awesome! it was a young adult one so there was about 14 of us and they were all in my age range. i really spoke up and talked about what i was going through! it felt good to talk about it and hear everyone elses experiecnes and stuggles. i definately found a new home to be at mondays at 730!! tomorrow i am going to the 2 week program i decided!! 830-4....i met a girl in the na meeting that is my age and kinda worse then me and has been attending the program, she encouraged me to go, so i am gonna do it!! so i wont be on here till tomorrow when i get out...ill let u know how it goes...hope everyone is staying strong, i am!!!! tomrrow is day 5!!!
hey good morning all tram thanks for the info and i do undersatnd where your comming from . i slept good last nite might of tossed for 30 min then it was morning so i had to slep and i fell pretty good.The anxiety and chills are the worse for me.But i actually have a positive outlook on things now and it helps.I have no intention of taking another pill ever again least i hope i will never not worth going through this just to have it taken away by a pill.but i must take each day hour minitue at a time till i get their and thank you very much tram and jason thank you also wishful keep going stay strong and god luck thank you all once again
Love hearing of everyone's clean time from trams. Even just a few days clean is such a HUGE deal!
Wishful- Way to go that you spoke at your NA meeting! It takes a lot, and you have it, and you did it!
We went to the dr. this morning, and told her of our needs, your suggestions. (and warnings!) She gave us scripts for clonidine, and extended release librium. We went from 6 pills to 4 pills on Mon. Husband only got 3 hrs. of sleep last nite. :( I slept well, but we are both mad sweating. This tapering thing is hard. We trust that you all know what you're talking about, so we'll stick with it. Our prayers are with you ALL. We'll talk later :)
Quick note...to cabalerro...God bless you both..it IS hard..no doubt about it...but truly..worth it..today is 20 days for me..i just hung up with a customer and im just so so grateful for the clarity im experiencing for first time in a long time...it is amazing...the fog (for today anyways) is lifting....i ve done taper..(started 2/12)...and I jumped off at 50mg/day when i was in hospital 3 weeks ago.. important to know you are not alone..ever..so many of us out here..praying for you, sending out positive thoughts..hang in..the other side is awesome!!!
Sasha...dearest one says...
"You are loved...all is well"...and she is so right...
Hi TH (Hugs) , Diane, Bode, Sasha, Christina, Beth, Lisa, Phama, James, Jason, Chell, Wishful, Fred, Ken, Emily, and everyone else..love you guys all so much.
Well I'm right now where some of you folks probably were month ago... running out, knowing how bad it's gonna suck when I do, taking less than my usual to "keep my supply from running out" hoping not to have another seizure, and hoping to find some way to quit this hell drug and see what life is like without it in the least painful way. (I can not stress that enough... LEAST PAINFUL WAY.)
As of now, I've forgotten. I've forgotten what the pain that caused me to START Tram feels like, or even if that pain even exists. All I know NOW is the pain I'll have if I DON'T take the Tramadol. Or even if I take LESS than my USUAL 950-1000 mgs a day
I haven't had any since yesterday eve, when I gobbled up my last 400 mgs.
Sickeningly enough, I have some Vicodin, which I've been sparingly taking hoping to substitute away the creepy crawlies, cold and hot flashes, and general "WEIRD" feelings all over, NOT WORKING. (I never have cared for the way they made me feel, and they are just not a substitute for Tramadol, they don't work that way (at least for me) )
The shivers are starting....and the goose bumps, and my legs and arms feel like they weigh a ton each.
So here's where I have a question: has ANYONE gone into an ER and successfully told them you KNOW you are having Tramadol withdrawal and had them take you seriously and help?
I did ONCE. They laughed, gave me an Ativan and guess what.... an rx for Tramadol??!?!?!?!,...morons. (of course I filled it on the way home and ate all 30 of those up in a day)
So I need some advice, it's gonna be bad enough to make me wanna die..... and NO, my pain is NOT more significant than anyone elses....I'm just one of the unlucky ones who has INTENSE withdrawal...so, anyone think it's worth it to try going back to ER for some help? Keeping in mind that I have had seizures recently probably caused by either too much or too little Tramadol....
Oh, SaraLee...first, WELCOME. I've been pretty much where you are at right now, looking over the edge, knowing there's no avoiding it, trying to figure out if there are branches you can grab on to on the way down to take some of the momentum out of the fall. I remember it so well. We're here for you sweetie.
I did the same thing with vicodin a couple of times, trying to "substitute" it for tramadol when I attempted to stop taking it. I found that tramadol would take away all the WD discomfort from vicodin, but NOT the other way around. \
Bottom line: as you know, there's no easy way out of this mess that is tramadol addiction. When I was where you are now, I just battened down the hatches, got out lots of blankets and pillows, stocked up on immodium, and prepared for a few days of hell. And that is how it worked out. I made it through those days on sheer anger and determination. Tapering works really well for some people, but it would never work for me. I couldn't taper. I didn't want to. I realized how serious and dire the situation was, not knowing how much of my misery was actually "mine" and how much was being caused by the drug that was supposed to be helping relieve it. I just knew I had lost pretty much everything I ever believed myself to be, and the only way out was facing it down and seeing which of us walked away with a story to tell.
I haven't heard anyone with a successful ER story. Unfortunately, many doctors/health care providers still believe the BS about tramadol not being habit forming or addictive or dangerous. One thing you might try is talking to your doctor about clonidine. It's a BP medicine that can also alleviate some of the massive WD discomfort. It can be especially helpful if your BP goes up during WD, which happens to a lot of us.
Short version: get some immodium for the cramping/diarrhea, keep a lot of water and gatorade handy, slim-fast bars, high-protein foods, epsom salts for the bath, ace bandages to wrap your arms and legs when the body aches get really bad (this also helped me with the chilling). Immodium (loperamide is active ingredient) also helps soothe the opiate receptors in your intestines, which get angry during WD. Mild stretching and short walks when you can help with aches and fatigue, but don't push yourself too hard. Expect 7 - 10 days of pretty significant discomfort, followed by marked improvements as you get your equilibrium back.
Also, read back through Emily's old journals, and other people's too (you are welcome to mine as well) as there is so much helpful wisdom in those chronicles. Sort of a road map to life after tramadol.
This place saved my life. I was where you are, roughly, and because I found this site, I found the courage to break free.
PAT, sweetheart, I am so proud of you. PAWS...brain fog, memory problems, fatigue, depression that can last weeks and weeks after you discontinue the tramadol. Not nearly as severe as during acute WD, but problematic, for sure. What are you experiencing?
To all the new people here...Welcome and may you find exactly what you need here.
To all the veteran tramadol warriors here, you continue to be a source of strength and inspiration to me and so many others. Love you all.
Saralee- Yes. Go to the ER if you have to. That is exactly what we did today. Went to urgent care, saw a dr. we've never met, told her our story, and needed help getting off. She gave us prescripts for clonidine n librium. She at first almost insisted we see the dr. who prescribed them, but since we got them on line......Demand the dr's attention about this. Make them understand this is not a joke! Good luck to you.
Cabalerro....I think it is great that you two are doing this together! You are doing the right thing. As for the librium and clonidine, that is exactly what I was given in rehab last time I was there. It should make the WDs tolerable. Good luck, and post any questions you have! Also, please keep us updated on your progress. YOU CAN DO IT!
SaraLee....get whatever help you need, honey. Ok? Tell them that you need help with this. Don't be ashamed! I promise it won't last forever!
hey everyone today was my first day of outpatient treatment!!! it was AWESOME!! I love it! ive meet other young adults my age and its just great to be in a room with people going through eactly what im going through....im looking forward to tomorrow already to go back...i learned alot today about what causes addiction and how to know if your an addict, of course i anwsered yes to all the questions so im an extreme addict lol...i just feel so full of life again and im ready for the road ahead of me...i see my dr on the 2oth to see whats next for me with the suboxone, im wondering when ill start tapering, today is day 5 no norcos, trams, vics, or anything!! i havent even drank alcohol in over a week!!! its so weird i have no desire to be on anything....hope everyone is doing well and staying strong...i cant stress enough how important it is to seek help and go to meetings... :)
SARALEE: girl you can do it!! just try to taper if u can, i cannot taper i just take them all no matter what.... how long have u been using? u may need to get on suboone if u have tried many times and failed. it has been my savior! message me if u want more info or read my journals!! wish you the best of luck you can do it!!
I went to the ER and got help. They helped me by prescribing Clonidine and they did an abdominal ultrasound cause I felt like I had a metal claw gnawing my gut. They started me on omeprazole and tagamet and these helped with the gut stuff in early W/D and the clonidine was a life saver for me.......after the first 8 days I struggled with waves of anxiety and depression...they were short bursts of the feelings but I never knew whence they came or how long they would stay....seemed tortuous , a cruel twist of fate....but lo and behold it was the PAWS....uh oh.....NO NOT THAT! arrrggh! So......more help was necessary....I found lots of help on this forum and in my community for my tram w/d....hey, if someone doesn't 'get it' get out of there then find someone else....remember the words 'I will never leave you nor forsake you?" I hope everyone can find the courage to keep reaching for the help and support we both need and deserve coming off this most nasty of drugs
Cabe, wife, Pat FMN! HELLO!!
TH- I haven't posted as much lately but still reading and cheering everyone on
wishful- great work at the meeting....I admire you willingness to reach out
I go to AA and al anon and feel so blessed (CAN"T get too much help)
Tram is a lie.....it tells you you NEED it for every occasion....at first, a little white helper...great energy, humor, efficiency and weight loss....wow and good pain control THEN....it turns and wants nothing less than to OWN YOUR SOUL....it su@ks the life force right out...of a now hollow heart....and the pain intensifies instead of abating.... my eyes started this weird rapid jiggling
(seizures?) losing it all over the place...every day in low level w/d upping the dose just to stay somewhere in the neighborhood of normal.....just to take the edge off the w/d hanging around the periphery of my moment to moment living (IF you can call it that)
LONELY, DISHONEST.......I'd become a liar and a phony
a slave to this drug
the only way out is through
we are all in this together!!!
all is well
You are Loved
clean since Feb 3
fmn - hi love...sounds like you are doing good??? i was traveling for another week last week..and the gut was out of it's comfort zone..when i ret'd i had the need for the immodium..it seems that things are settling down a bit as im back in my home routine...i have waves of depression..yesterday for example..but, i had clear thinking even thru the darkness...if that makes any sense...so I just appreciated that..and tried to ignore the dark... i must be honest and say that i had a thought yesterday about the tram..about how i could lift myself out of the dark if I could get one or two in me. .Thankfully it was short lived..I would rather have a few hours of feeling like im treading sludge..than to go back to the Tramadol..Grateful ..beyond belief ....i DO NOT want to start over...ever!!!! 3 weeks today...unbelievable...To all of you out there..i offer my gratitude for all of your stories..your support..your honesty, strength and willingness to take on this beast...you all inspire me and give me the courage to keep on keeping on...
so proud of all of us... To the lurkers.(from a former lurker) .we are here for you..come out when you feel comfortable..we will leave the porch light on..Again..this is a "no shame" zone.
Love, hugs, blessings,
uh oh.....time out...walking the floors looking for something to take..something to make me feel better...a pill, a vitamin, maybe 2 antidepressants....some kind of supplement.....something...to lift me out of this darkness..to give me some energy and hope..
i know it's temporary..but i just need to say it outloud. roller coaster ride - now i know.
Just woken myself...not quite walking the boards but
having a difficult time with chronic pain..that being my
original reason for Tramadol...& it hurts....much like the
hurting you have inferred in your post...& then we get
hurt by our reliance on this drug...A vicious cycle!
Remember that any lift is only temporary & you have
done an amazing job to get where you are today.
Also your journey has become part of our collective
journey & you have been a wonderful support to others.
hey their despertegrndma hey their i know just how you feel i want ot sometimes more than life its self but dont fall back into the trap i allmost have before and so far so good just think of the greater times ahead of you not worrying about not having those pills their will come a time when you dont even think of them sit back read clean cook mow the yard that helps me lol do something fun call a friend just anything but these dang pills hang in their you can do it
Oh Desperategrndma! I'm feeling the same. (Wife talking) Husband left for work just now. This morning we can really feel the taper. My body feels sooo heavy, i'm either too hot or too cold, I can't stop crying. Even though we took 2 pills 20min ago, I don't think it's enough. I just took one more. DAMMIT! Now I feel guilty. Seems I'm in worse shape than him right now and I want to say F#@k this, nevermind, we'll do this some other time.
Woop, he just called to say he does'nt know if he can work like this. (My poor honey) We planned on feeling like this next week because we are kid free then. I forgot what all this feels like. I told him to take one more, and go to work.:)
Pete, James & Caba - Thank you all so so much..I know that taking the "pill" is not an option..it's the process of feeling and filling that empty space..with something good..healthy.. but the quick fix is what im looking for..makes me feel lazy, worthless, etc...good Lord..why do I think Im so terminally unique that I dont have to feel pain, anxiety, fear,..blah blah..blah.. anyways..Thank you dear ones..and Cab..remember..this is a "shame free, guilt free" zone.. dont pile on the crap for what you felt you had to do in the moment..it's ok..be gentle with yourself..this is a big deal..you guys strong andhave lot of courage..and you can lean on each other..and all of us out here for support...
thank you all..you can't know how much your support is helping me...pls know that I am here for you all as well..
sending much love & hugs and support.
hey ya all dont give up life is so so so much better when you stop and stay off of these pills trust me i wanted and wanted one or more but i can see the light at the end of the tunnel just keep looking you will see it and you also can get their.Their were days i thought if only i had a pill it wou,ld be so much eaiser but yhen their ya go starting all over stay strong do whatever it takes to stay clean dont be scared ask for help if you need it good luck
well since we're all confessing that we're breaking down .... i started feeling that irritable weird feeling all over. im sure you guys know which one i mean, where EVERYTHING is physically irritating...a breeze through the window made me wanna kill somebody. the kids just got home from school, and the sound of them laughing and playing is pissing me off .... NOT OK!
goose bumps are coming back, so i took 6 perc (since i had em, and im holding onto my last 5 tram like GOLD)
feeling better already, just like i suck failure right now. even though on the positive side... i made it from 630am to now 3:30pm on only 5 tram... thats HUGE for me. i would normally have eaten up a good 24 by now.
although... here's what REALLY *****. i took those percocet to substitute and push off the w/d, but they haven't even had time to work, (it's been like 5 minutes LOL) and im already feeling better. so CLEARLY alot of it is that I BELIEVE that it will make me feel better..... why oh WHY can't I trick myself into believing that a handful of motrin some freakin herbal tea and a hot bath will help????
(please dont tell me "a hot bath in epsom salt really will help tons" i've heard this forever and just dosent work for me. tried everything, up to and including the thomas recipe, and have yet to find a reasonable NON-medicinal form of relief from w/d symptoms)
so yeah, dont feel too bad cab....
and btw....i almost wish my hubby and i shared the same drug of choice like you and yours.... his is booze. which i never really got, but thats a bunch of meaningless detail i dont need to get into yet.
Pat, HANG ON!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, still ups and downs after a month! And yes, that "quick fix" feeling, wanting something now to take away what does not feel good comes on strong. Remember we used a pill to deal with most of our ills for years and I honestly believe it is out of habit that our first thought goes to "take a pill" when we feel even slightly out of sorts....then we realize this is not an option and the darkness appears darker BUT only for a very short period of time. It takes conscious thought to work through these low times and sometimes a "fake it till I make it" attitude. And the nice thing is, these interventions work....a little time passes, thoughts change and the darkness fades.
You are doing sooooo great. I was catching up on posts today and could just "hear" the difference time between you and tram has made. Yes, there are good and there are bad days, but you have been such an inspiration and support for so many of us, I hope we can provide that back to you today.
Pat....READ THIS>>>>>>>>DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING! Please. You are doing so well. I am so proud of you. I was proud of you for flushing your pills that day. YOU DID IT! Are you getting any kind of support? It might help you. You are doing the right thing by telling us, and it's great that you didn't take anything! : ) Think back to those tapering days. It's yuck, right? Wanna have to do ALL that again? Of course not!
Cab....let us know how you guys are feeling tonight. Tapering is tough. That's why I could never do it. I always took another pill....and another...and another till they were gone....every single time! You have the meds. Now you just gotta hang on and DO IT! : )
SaraLee....What you are going thru is normal. Irritation is something I had BIGTIME! With everyone and everything. I wish there was a magic pill for WDs. Clonidine is about the only one I know of, and it doesn't even take everything away. You are right. A lot of it is mental. I used to do the same thing as you. Give me a pill, and I'll feel better before it hits my stomach!!!! ; )
Everyone have a good night. I'll check on you guys later!
Pat- Thank you for mentioning no guilt & no shame. We needed to hear that.
Hello, Everyone. Today was a hard day at work, I wish we could just withdrawl today, but we need to wait until this Friday. We have been cutting down, and 4 Trams a day is not enough to sustain our normal activities (like work). Although I made it. My plan was to cut down to 3 Trams for Thursday. I will try it. Not sure about working on Friday if I do that. Will see what happens.
I am so tired and sick of this drug, and popping pills just to function. I, We, are ready to be done with this.
I got lots of sleep last night, due to taking 2 librium, although it was very hard to get up at 11:00am(ha!ha!) to go to work.
Will just take one tonight, and see how it goes. Overall, feeling ok.
Tramahater: Ha, I know what you mean with not being able to cut back. With Vic's I was NEVER able to cut back, if I had them, they were taken. Although with Trams, I hate them so much, that I am able to resist alot more, and not take them.
Saralee: Ha! I know exactlly where you are. Very, Very tough. I am just throwing this out there, but have you check out inpatient treatment? I believe part of recovery is to learn and grow about ourselves. Discovering why we do certain things, and for what reasons we are numbing ourselves. My wife and I have grown so much in the last 3 years. We were able to cast aside lots of s@#t that was keeping us down. Glad to see you updated your profile.....although you should probably spend less time in the sun...........HA.....joke........Love it......
To All: Thank you for your support, it has been very, very helpfull. We cant wait to be done with all this.....Last couple of days!!
Time for my daily update! Today was day 2 in the outpatient treatment program, it was really good. I really opened up to my couseler about my life and things that happend to me growing up that i never thought id talk about but i thought was important for her to know to understand my addiction or maybe why i use. I honestly makes me feel better and is kinda a relief. I think alot of us keep things inside and just take the pills to hide our feelings and keep covering them up and numbing it untill eventually we just EXPLODE!! so what i learned today was i need to stop pushing things down inside and start talking about my emotions and experiences. I have been just numbing them and not dealing with my pain, and its truely sad. Im reading all your guys posts and it makes me sad. We all deserve a life free of bondage to these pills, and we can do it. We are addicts, and it will never be easy, we will fight this forever, but as long as we accept it and are not in denial, we can get better. Today is day 6. :) I havent been able to say that in 3 freaking years u guys!! if i can do it, you can. U have to want it, i want it more than anything. Im actually helping other people at my treatment center, there are girls younger than me and i just see myself in them and just wish i could get through to them but i think i am..if only i took my advice as well as i give it now, maybe i wouldnt be here in this situation. Oh well this addiction, it makes me who i am in sme way, as long as i switch it to a positive way by helping myself and others then i win.
Forgetmenot: that post made my day :)
Pat: stay stong, u have made it this far....have u gone to any meetings?
cabelero:i think u guys either need to take time off work to get clean or go into treatment its impossible to taper while working, atleast for me...i really think about u guys all the time and i know u an do this!!!
just wanted to say that i hate everything right now. im goin gin to the dr in teh morning , a DIFFERENT dr, obviously mine wasnt getting it.
i feel so effen horrible right now and i know this is baby stuff, by tomorrow afternoon ill be wishing i was dead for sure.
im so tired, but cant sleep
not gonna go back and correct my typos, cuz i cant give a cluck right now.
Sara, yes, I had horrible ringing in my ears as a matter of fact, went to MD last week because it had not stopped after being off Tram for a month. I was taking tons of Ibuprofen with detoxing and I think that was part of the reason it lasted so long. I have completely stopped the Ibuprofen and the ringing has decreased significantly. Anyway, it is a normal side effect of Tramadol....especially noticeable during withdrawal. Hang in there!
Wishful! So darn proud of you:) (wife) I was in outpatient 10 yrs ago. I guess I didn't pull up my big girl pants far enough and apply what I learned. I was too scared of hurting anyone's feelings. All the while shoving mine into the ground. No doubt you can do this, you are a wise woman, far more than what I was at almost 23!
I can't stick with this tapering thing. Husband woke up in full withdrawal last nite, and took 2 pills. And I ended up taking a mother load yesterday. I'm wondering what is the point of tapering when your body goes into withdrawals even when theres pills in your system, but it's not enough? The way we always do it, no matter what we take, is to fly as high as we can then fall flat on our face.
Sara, so wish we could toss you a few! Please write about your dr experience. We're praying that you're able to see a dr that "get's it." You should have your 180 soon right? Or did you blow threw those already? LOL!
Love n hugs to all. You guys are our life support :)
hey i hope every one has a better day then before but trust me i know how you feel i couldnt taper if i had em i took em thats just me like it was with a beer if i had some i would drink em i like beer to love beer if i had one now i would drink it but i quit long time ago i didnt really have a problem with it my wife did lol but i gave it up jsut do what ever it takes to get off of this stuff it is worth it in the long run hope everyone is doin great ttyl
cabalerro x 2.......What you are saying is the exact reason why I could never taper. And it is also the reason I never really tried. They way I saw it......take 'em all and suffer later, but why suffer WHILE ya take 'em??? That was my rationale.
Now....here's some advice. You are very fortunate to have the librium and clonidine, so you need to do this, ok? It's time. You may not be able to get the help that you have gotten this time. Some docs won't do it. If you are still taking the tram, then don't take the other meds. What's the point? It is kind of wasting them, right?
Let us know how you are feeling tomorrow, ok? Lots of hugs to both of you!
James....How are you today? Feeling pretty good? You seem better unless I have missed something! : )
SaraLee....Good luck at the new doc tomorrow. Please let us know what you find out!
Tramahater: Ha, thats exactlly right about tapering down. I now agree with my wife, you and everyone who could not do it. I tried, and ended up in the middle of the night with withdrawals. Although I am keeping the number I take down to a minimum.
We are looking forward to tomorrow, That will be our last day we take Trams. Yes we also know we will be miserable for a while. We have the Clonidine and Librium, and some other emergency items on hand also.
Wishful: Thank you for your comments and encouragement. Sounds like you are doing good, and learning about yourself a lot. Believe us when we say that KNOWING yourself is so very important and valuable. You are worth it. Everyone is worth it.
How sad it is, when we get ourselves into S#@T, because we dont believe we are worth more, and our not deserving of better.
its 330 am again, and again im awake from the skaes and cant get back to sleep.
dr did NOT go well. i started out talking about how i had been on this tramadol, and why and whats going on now, and i need some sort of medical intervention to get me through this withdrawal, and i discovered that when you have cancer,
(guess i should have mentioned that before, sorry, wasn't foremost in my thoughts for once) they don't want to do anything except throw you more pills...
"OH you stubbed your toe? Here's some Vicodin. Got a hangnail? Have some Percocet and Vistaril." is all I seem to hear from doctors.
Oncologist knows my issues and where he wont THROW pills at me, he asks once a week if I am "still feeling like my pain is under control".....meaning... "need some pills?"
I can't even tell you what freaking part HURTS?!?!?
Long story short, between the actual Cancer pain (which I'll have you know is from the cancer TREATMENTS, NOT the Bladder Cancer itself) is probably LESS painful than this tramadol withdrawal,
but the oncologist and specialists would rather I just go to radiation, come home, and chow down on Dilaudid all day and night rather than try to get OFF meds so I can see WHAT MY "PAIN NEEDS" ACTUALLY ARE.
All in all, I caved, the tram-demon poked its head and said "hey how bout just a trade-off....take some Vicodin... its not ME after all" so I did, took an rx for only a couple vicodin (told him theres NO WAY i needed 120 like he first wrote for, knowing not having them was the only way to stop me from taking more)
so i had 16, took 8 immediately upon filling the rx, and just now the other 8 to chase away the tram w/d.
im feeling better, kinda actually sleepy now, maybe from writing all this and keeping my mind occupied, maybe from the vicodin (which as we all know I chewed up like candy hoping for quicker effect. they're not half as nasty as tram tho... MAN! those taste HORRIBLE)
anyway, you've all noticed im sure that i tend to ramble... sorry again, hope yall stayed with me.....
so here it is in a nutshell i could have given 4 paragraphs ago: Still no Tramadol. last 5 pills i took on the 17th(?), but have since then taken 10+ percocet or 16 vicodin a day so i've just traded.
i have radiation in 3 1/2 hours and will probably just stay awake til my mom picks us up. thank god shes driving me to the cancer ctr and dropping my kids off in the morning.
definitely feeling better now and think ill try to get another 2 hours of sleep before waking the hubby and kids up. though he's snoring so loud its making me nuts -ears still ringing- and sweated all over the place!!! maybe ill go sleep with the kids. and us pill-heads are worse than the drunks????? at least we dont sweat out all our pills at night all over the Egyptian cotton! if you couldnt tell im a little bitter that my husband has this elitist attitude and i cant tell him how bad this is for me... hmmm probably part of my problems you say????? NO... get right outta town! but thats a problem for another day.
jeez sorry i went so long....i should have just journaled this.
can somebody send me a message and tell me how to track this forum so i dont have to go hunting for it every day? i told it to watch, but i still cant figure it out. (dont wanna bookmark the page on the pc)
I'm in Hell, Been on tram for 8 years 300mg + a day. Have been trying to get off for years, was using it to get off Vico. The last two months i was tapering down and then found out my wife of 13 years was cheating on me and one of Her reasons was me and my meds? I was down two 2 50mg a day and i'm on my 3rd day of none. I feel like I want to die! Trying to repair a marrige take care of my two boys one that is 8yrs old with type 1 diabetes and also taking care of my elderly mom whom can't take care of Herself. My job is suffering. I wish sombody could just help me make it all go away I"M TIRED and i'm having 90% of all the withdraws. I have never been adicted to anything before this except DrPepper. Sorry about my grammer right now I suck at everything!!! But I need some energy so I can go on....HELP
We will listen to you ramble all day Sara! :) First after getting on the medhelp page, type in tramadol & ultram recovery room part 33, scroll n click where it says that. tah dah. Even with cancer, not understanding why your dr's aren't listening to this serious problem you have! See an addiction specialist maybe? You must be paralized in devistation.
So hubby's drinker, hu? ( wife talking) I used to drink with husband. I stopped before we got married so I would be worth marrying. I was a terrible drunk!
Tiredashell, Oh go to dr! We were given clonidine n librium, ask for them.That's our answer for everything! That's all we know so far. Can't believe you've made it to day 3! You sure do have a full plate. You have support here, You belong here.
Tired....I so sorry about your circumstances..getting off this crap is hard enough without having tough life stuff...and you are certainly being challenged right now.. 3 days..that is really big considering your history...I would encourage you to hang in..i know how you feel..most of us out here do.. there are things you can do to help with the withdrawal..what is your primary symptom right now? also, i would encourage you to find someone you can talk to in person..a dr who will support you thru this..or a friend...or therapist..you can absolutely count on us out here...we are always here for you and you can post, yell, cry..rant..whatever you need to do..WE ARE HERE... this is my 23rd day off trams..never thought i would get here..but as most post..if you get to 7-10 days out..it starts to get a bit better..everyone is different..but truly ..dealing with life...being present for your children..and your Mom..and for yourself..so much better than being tramm'd up.....to care for the others..you need to be well and care for yourself..that's the bottom line..and dont we all know this intellectually..but emotionally and mentally it's a hard pill to swallow..when we "think" we function better on the drugs....I know that others will be talking to you..please hang in..hang on...as Emily says..."it can be a bumpy ride"...but you can do it...
We are here..to listen, encourage..offer support...
if you can..if you have time and feel up to it..pls go back and read some of the early posts from Emily..she and others have posted critical information that can help you thru all this.
Many blessings & prayers,
(Caba talking) Hello everyone, just wanted to update you on our progress. Today is Friday, and my last Trams were yesterday afternoon. I called off work today, felt very bad to do that, but I feel it will help us alot, because I am sure withdrawls are going to be knocking on our door at any moment. Im getting a note from the Doc. so I can take off many days of work. (I will make sure it does not say "due to withdrawls on it") Ha!..
I believe everything is set for this weekend, our scuedule is clear, and we will have the whole weekend to ourselves. It helps both of us, just being together through this. Feeling like crap is bad, but its better when you both feel the same and can lean on eachother. I am so thankfull for my wife.
We will keep you all updated. Thank you all for being here.
My last tram was at 8pm last night. WD are getting bad. I am dizzy and feel 200lbs heavier. I am home alone with my 2 year old, and feel so guilty that I can't do antyhing for her. I am equiped with Excederin, Hylands Leg cramps and B 6. Any advice???
Hello Warriors All!!!
I am SO PROUD of you!!
Pat 23 day whoo hooo!!! you GO girl....NEVER have I seen anyone truly wean over so much time....then God stepped in and took over for you and VOILA! you are Free at last....Free at last....thanks for being here!
SaraLee- oh Honey! go to the ER and get some help!! Keep posting! we want to hear every day or several times a day just how you are doing....
Caba/wife- ok so here you go...remember the 'jump program' from The Matrix? This is it you two....hot baths with epsom salts, heating pads lots of camomile tea-- easy to digest foods....did I say baths?...lots and lots of baths....the clonidine and librium will help-- you are fortunate to have those drugs and each other
NO ONE gets in to Heaven alone.....we need each other desperately...and getting off Tramadol GIVES US the GIFT of desperation.....hey we get willing to do whatever it takes to be free
that is why you are all MY HEROES
Hello again. We keep posting, it makes us feel better, and love everyones comments, knowing that others are with us, and know exactly our situation. Lots of people would not understand. Thank you
I am now on my 21st hour with no Trams(devil drug). My wife is on 7 hours. A 5:00 pm. this evening, we will be all alone, with no children. I am really starting to feel very bad. Its been awile since I have felt like this, and its even worse than I remember. And, its only been 21 hours!!! Ha. We are keeping strong, and are planning to just get comfortable on the couch and try relax and sleep (if we can) as much as possible. I am still feeling strong, I just continue to remember how much I hate those pills, and also the money that goes out just to buy them.
Sweetjenjen: I know exactly how you feel, and feel for you in your situation. It takes alot of planning and forethought to be able to go through withdrawls. Have things in place, with as few demands as possible during that time. Just read over all the post from this site. You will get a lot of good information.
4leefclover: Ha, love your Matrix reference. I guess I should have taken the other pill!!! Ended up taking the Tram pill...Ha. Thank you for your comments. We look forward to reading everyones comments and posts. Because again, y'all are our life line in this mess, nobody else understands.
I got my MIL to watch my daughter for me, and I am going to strap down for the ride tonight. I am already depressed due to losing my job, then my husband and trying to keep bills on, and to sit here in my messy house, thinking about EVERYTHING is going to throw me into full blown panic attack. I am reading, but can't type much. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers
went to the ER, the doc took pity on me and gave me a ****- ton of IV Dilaudid and some morphine to stop the shakes, chills, and feeling like I was on fire. and i slept in that paper gown on that rock hard hospital bed for the best happiest 2 hours of sleep ive had in days.
though when it came time to go home, he wrote me yet another rx for TWELVE, yes 12 Vic....wtf? 2 problems: first, I TOLD HIM i was trying to get off pills, and second.... what the hell am i gonna do with TWELVE?????!?? I could eat all 12 before i got home!!! I didn't, I used every ounce of strength i could muster and took only 5, didnt give the hubby his standard 2 vicodin, (he's one of those lucky ones who still thinks they're "FUN" and is all euphoric from 1 or 2 pills... lucky) and im delighted to say 5 helped scare away the tram w/d just as well as 8 did last night. sadly, im likely gonna have to call my oncologist and tell him YES, I DO need more pills.i was hoping not to have to
even worse, while all this was going on, my phone was blowing up... i got the news when i got out of the ER that my gramma died this afternoon. YES we were close, i just saw her. we knew it was her time, but this was a BAD DAY for this and i hear she didn't get all serene and make her peace with god before she went, she went badly, thrashing about and cursing, and she didnt recognize anyone and even to make me have MORE guilt, I hear she was calling everyone Sara. for some reason I was the only name she could recall.
This is gonna make things alot harder. maybe ill just put this offf until after the funeral.
SaraLee, unless I have read something wrong, you have had versed, fentanyl, morphine, dilaudid AND vicodin today???? Girl, don't OD. I am truly sorry about your gramma. Terribly bad time for you, I know. I was very close to all 4 of my grandparents and had all of them until I was 30......still have one left!!! Please be careful and don't take anything else today, ok?
Caba x 2, I am so glad you guys are doing this together! Now...just don't kill eachother when you start feeling REALLY irritable!!! : )
jenjen, You can do this! I am praying for you and sending cyber hugs!
Jen- you are Sweet, hon--it kicks@ss right now....but the only way OUT is through...leave the housework alone...focus on your journey through these first days of w/d....be kind and gentle in your thoughts....you call yourself sweet, and that you are...I am sorry about your losses....drug addiction strips EVERYTHING eventually....it is only a matter of time....but you will find moments of pure benevolence....I PROMISE you will....the first few days are like trudging through a battlefield....the brambles, the fire, the exhaustion and the fear....on the other side of this field is a beautiful meadow where you can run free in the sunlight.....and then lay down to rest....you will remain invisible to the enemy on this battlefield as long as you don't take another little white pill....get to the other side one moment at a time....we believe in you!!
Sara- timing is important....take whatever care you need...it makes sense to do this thing when the stars are aligned but you know best...you can do it now if you are motivated...but take care of yourself, girl sorry about your loss....we are here for you
Caba/wife- the half life of tram is quite long.....as you are seeing....every cell in my body raised holy heck....throwing a tantrum for the drug....yuck....let them cry and tantrum...5-6 days later it gets better....even in those early days there were moments sublime (they were short but I reveled in them) they will be there for you...the w/d is NOT LINEAR.....after the first 5 it's good day , so-so day hard day so-so day good day...or any combo but the good days are there....I struggled with waves of anxiety...use the librium and clonidine for sleep and anxiety....the hot baths for your aching body and soul....you can DO THIS.....
yes... i have had all that today, however all have been under the direct supervision of a dr while in a hospital, even though i probably shouldnt, i trust they wouldn't have given me all that in one day knowing it would harm me.
but heres my question...the last couple nights i wake at 3 or 330am with the oncomings of the tram w/d and have taken whatever i had to chase it away (perc, vic, or my last few tram)
but im thinking id like to sleep THRU THE NIGHT.,,,just for a change....
Ive got Ativan and Flexeril. Which ONE will put me to sleep without giving me more twitchies?
(keeping in mind, i do NOT regularly take either, so i believe that the prescribed dose of either would be sufficient)
cant take benadryl, makes me anxious (which is what im trying to avoid)
oh yeah, and i forgot......CABS: im probably not the best one for giving advice but i do know that Dextromorphan will relieve some w/d symptoms... best to have it in straight up DM cough syrup, not the extended Delsum kind. I tried that extended release kind it made me pretty dizzy (but it was better than the w/d) you guys seem to be having a better go of this than me, you could try a dose of NyQuil which contains DM..... just a thought, might make ya feel a little better and wont put ya 2 steps back...IMO
Day16...a v.tough day...fatigue & then some more..
Just making me more determined to stay away from the
Tramadol (& valium) & realising how disassociated I have
become. Hadnt thought that I had such a problem but now
in withdrawal & tracking back seeing how much these little
pills have taken hold. As we all know, it is a nasty business!
Great work from you all & wonderful support I get from your
journeys. Collectively we are an impressive mob no matter
what our situations. Whether it be tapering or going cold
turkey we will be stronger for all this although it feels an
unbelievably vulnerable state.
To my friends out there, keep going...
We will get better & I am sure be better, more compassionate
people for the journey...
It is almost 5am. No sleep thus far. I am about to strangle myself. In a literal sense of course. My 2 year old senses something is wrong and STAYED up with me. 5am....2 year old and a tram addict, FUN STUFF. Believe it or not, she is helping my restlessness, even though I know once I try and lay down again, it will come back. 3 doses of Excedrin, Hylands Leg Cramps and B6 and 3 baths WITH Epson... This time isn't as worse as my first, but FAR FROM comfortable.
My breathing is very strenuous, and I feel like I am about to have a seizure or something, It scares me which makes me get tunnel vision due to my blood pressure rising. I never experienced this before, any advice?
I know my spelling *****, typing while shaking, but thank you for the kind words, wished I could say more at this point. Still want to walk into traffic.
Hopefully I will get some sleep, or I will be looking for some Lortabs tomorrow/today.
Which brings me to say that I never had an addiction to ANYTHING before the TRam, was even on Lortabs for a year straight on two separate occasions, and had very small WD. Just body achiness, and a tad amount of restlessness which at the time I didn't know those were signs of WD. I was aware of the chance of addiction, and when I felt "dependent" on them, I could pull myself back, which gave me the restlessness which made me Google and put me into panic all the time b/c of the millions of problems I could have.
My punkin is calling me, going to try and comfort her into going to sleep.....if I can stay still long enough.
jenjen..Honey, you are doing this right. The baths, Hylands and B6 is great!!! Now, on the Excedrin. Is is PM or regular? PM has an antihistimine in it that could be making you restless. And the other may have caffeine. All of the "PM" meds made me VERY wired during WD. I could not even think of taking it. I am so sorry you are having a hard time. It doesn't last forever. If your BP gets high, you need to go to the ER and get something for that. You could get in real trouble with high BP during WDs. Have you taken some immodium? I have heard that it helps a host of WD symptoms. It would be worth a try. How many days have you been off now?
saralee...You are so right about the benadryl. Steer clear of that for now! I don't know how to tell you how to sleep thru the night this early on. I still wake up during the night sometimes and can't go back to sleep! It is very irritating. All I can tell you is that it gets better. You will get to a point that the WDs don't wake you up. You may do like me and wake up for what seems like no reason, but at least the WDs are gone!!! : ) To answer your question....I'd say the ativan would be best. Both should help you sleep though. As you know, just take one or the other!!! : )
You are both doing the right thing here! I am proud of you. It won't be long, and this will be just a nasty, icky memory!!!
So proud of all you guys!! You're making the biggest, hardest, most important changes you'll ever make. You are reclaiming your LIFE. Your future. Way to go!
Question for everyone: I have migraines (part of why I took the tramapoison for so long). I don't have them often, but from time to time (NOW), I do. And they are TERRIBLE. Tramadol worked like a miracle for migraine. I'm allergic to imitrex and a lot of the newer antimigraine meds. So, in your experience, is there anything that works -- OTC, herbal, even acupuncture? I'm three days into a severe one, and I need help. Big time. I can't do anything except cry at this point.
Have you tried Migranal? It's a spray of some sort. I know someone who had success with it. Also, have you tried Midrin? I don't have migraines, but when I get a bad headache, I take a Goody Powder or BC powder and some tyenol. It's the same stuff that is in Excedrin Migraine except it's quick-acting powder. I think it makes mine a little better! Sometimes ANY relief is better than nothing! I hope you feel better, sweetie!
Hello, Goodmorning everyone!! OOps, its the afternoon. Wow, we cant believe we are doing so well. We slept all night!! Normally at this time we would not be able to move, sleep, and even breathing is usually an effort without taking Trams. Little confecion: we were able to get some scrips for Percocet and Vicodin. They have helped so much. We know all about the addictive properties of these, and had issues in the past, but they are not an issue now. They help allot!
The librum was also very helpful, and we were able to sleep through the night.
I am on day 2 no Trams, and Wife is on day 1.
The Epsom salt baths did not help me much, but it did get my wifes clothes off!!!! HA!
Ha, we all must keep our spirits up as much as possible, so a little laughter goes a long way!!
Speaking of which, O'honey, its time for our bath!!!
LOL...glad to hear you guys are doing good!
I'm on day 26 CT off of 300mg Ultram ER
and I am actually starting to feel somewhat normal.
Maybe since I can take my ritalin again. I can't
even think to get on here without it:-( I had no idea
adhd was so hard to deal with:-( You're almost better
NOT knowing you have it, I swear...
I'm trying to read and catch up on what's going on in here.
Word to the newbs:
DO NOT GIVE UP, you CAN do this!
You WILL feel normal again
You ARE ALREADY closer to normal than you
think just by trying to get off of this, however
you can. It's VERY bad for you....
hey i am new to here but i have decided that tommrow was the day i am going off of the evil drug tramodol, no one know around me i have a addiction, they just think i am super mom and can do anything. I got to admit it tramodol makes me so energize. I need a support group cause i am going to go through hell for the next couple of days, and what ***** I am home all day by myself. So im sure yall will be here so please help me and keep incouraging me to do this
YES, I feel like at day 26,
I've just woken up from a fuzzy
dream. I thought I was so
*on top of things*...yet my house
needs the layer of film over it I
didn't see for years, and all sorts
of things need fixed. That could
be the adhd, but I think it's both.
For sleeping I used nyquil NORMAL
For the horrible day nine and a few
others, I used coricidin HBP. Not
too much though, we're not trying
to be addicted to something else,
just trying to accomplish THIS.
Honest, hang in there, it gets
VERY much better. All of those
symptoms are part of normal
WDs from this horrible stuff.
I went through it all. Lortabs
will def help. Vistaril helps too,
most docs don't mind prescribing
it for anxiety, etc. It's related
to benadryl, but I've had no trouble
with it making wds worse, only better.
Sorry fmn, the ONLY thing I use
that works for me for migrains
is good ole medical MJ:-)
It's also done wonders during
this WD...like you wouldn't
believe. It has a powerful
anti inflammatory in it.
I ingest it, not smoke it,
although that will work.
Good indica helps.
Not trying to offend, just
trying to help.
I have quit 7 psych drugs
and ultram with the help of it,
but just because it works for me,
doesn't mean it's for everyone!
I'm prayin for you all
and sending you HEALING
its so funny lisa said that.... i was telling my mom about how terrible i feel (not why of course) and she suggested the same thing. i never knew my mom was a proponent of the green!!
i didnt even think of that! what a good idea.. non addictive (yes i know its a debate, but i believe not) obviously mood elevates, which (i think) is what we all liked about the tram, stops nausea (proven) and pain from cancer treatment (which i KNOW is horrible) and we all know is supposed to have a calming effect ...sorry guys, i know were all trying to get right and off stuff, but i cant help but think this stuff doesn't count.
this has been under debate for decades, and it will likely never be settled. but im gonna try... ANYTHING is better than this ****
anyway, ...... i feel horrid today got drunk last night at a bbq me and hubby went to. i NEVER do that, and now i remember why, ive got the symptoms from the no tram plus a pounding headache and nausea from the booze. i feel like i slept though., probably 6 or 7 hours.. dont remember when we went to bed
woke up and my WHOLE BODY feels like on huge cramp... they said to expect that from the radiation, but under normal circumstances, i would think nothing of waking up like this and gobbling up 12 tram and 4 motrin and going back to bed...
this morning, i took 4 motrin my last vicodin and a robaxin. still feel like crap....but at least im not overdosing on tram before i even get out of bed....
Hello, We were wondering where everyone is posting now? Is there somewhere else to post? We miss reading post, and updating our progress. We are on day 3 with no Trams, and are doing surprizingly well. I did take today off work, just to try and get strength back, and spend more time with my wife. Hope everyone is doing well.
Hello Cab's...I've been kinda wondering the same thing myself...I know people are very busy and have their lives..but I must admit..that I miss seeing the posts..when I started back in Janurary..there were a lot of folks who were what I would call "seasoned" survivors ...recovering from Tramadol.. But there are a lot of new folks out here..that are offering wonderful and encouraging insights ...I truly value their posts as well as the ones from folks who 've been at this for some time. It really has helped my recovery to keep reading everyone's experience...But I guess ..we just need to draw strength from within..and keep moving forward..draw from our higher power..maybe some kind of inperson support group. (12-step, etc).. I am so happy to hear that you guys are doing so well. Hang in..as I mentioned before I've heard that day 7 or 8 is kind of a magic #... I am on day 26...and Im struggling to be honest..depression is pretty intense..and my energy level...well it's pretty much non-existent. huge effort just to walk thru the day and do bare minimum. But im not complaining..Im so grateful to be this far out from my last Tram. I do not know if there is anyplace else to post - for specifically Tramadol...This is the only site I've ever been on...But just know..Im here..and Im sure others will be here too..keep posting..keep talking..keep reaching out...like i said..it may some time in between posts..but there's always a light on out here...
Lots of love..hugs..much much encouragement and so proud of you guys for this...
Hi Lisa, Sara, TH...and everyone..
hey guys, its been a while since i've posted. glad to see so many of you are doing so well.
i havent had any tramadol since march 15th, and was able to stay drug/alcohol free for a few weeks. the first part of last month i started drinking about 4 times per week. i'm not talking one or two drinks a night, i'm talking drinking until i'm completely intoxicated. i used tramadol for a little over a year as a way to run away from my problems, now i guess i've just traded one thing for another.
when i quit tramadol, my doc gave me an SSRI to help with depression, as well as temazepam to help me sleep. i stopped taking the anti-depressant last week, as it was not working at all. the temazepam i've been using on nights i don't drink so i can sleep. 1 sleeping pill no longer works well enough,so i'm now taking 3 pills per night minimum.
i still have a bottle of tramadol sitting in my room, and it's gettting harder and harder for me to stop myself from taking "just one" to make me feel better. i know even having tramadol in my apartment is an awful idea, but i just can't get rid of them....i have no idea why. i spend so much time every single day thinking about getting drunk or high on sleeping pills...i know i need to do something or i'm in big trouble.
thanks for listening, and i hope you all are well.
hey their sorry i have been working outdoors and just havent been on to much have been clean for 17 days so far so good i feel better just the idle time on the evenings is what kills me the most and i like reading the posts also gives me the reason to keep going but if it wasnt for this forum i would still be on the drug so thank thank you all very much hope to hear from you all soon
Ty - Someone very dear out here..(TH)...encouraged me to flush the remaining pills I had left...which I did...it was done..my dr is on board with me and will not ever fill the script again..I would encourage you to do the same..just get rid of them.. they will continue to haunt you and taunt you..in so many ways...I would suggest some therapy if you havent already..or perhaps even a 12 step group - have you tried these avenues..Let's face it..we are trying to run from something or fill up that empty space inside with drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, and on and on...My thought is that if we could learn to be ok in our own skin..and walk thru whatever it is that makes us want to escape..and get to the other side.....then maybe we wouldnt have the need for all this crap..I too have been on antidepressant..and i dont see that it's doing much for me either..But...I will not return to the Trams..too painful..i do not want to ever go thru this again.. the alcohol..yes you are right..just switching addictions...how do I know this?
Hang on Ty..please...keep with us...James..good to see you.
Hey guys! I have been outta town! How are my peeps???? : D
Pat, sweetie pie.....I want to tell you that my days were filled with depression and everything was such effort. Even after 26 days, I was still not moving very fast! I finally went on an AD, and I am feeling so much better. Just brushing my hair and lifting my baby was SO hard! If it helps you at all, now I go all day and hardly sit down! I am around 75 or 80?? days, and I feel pretty good. You will too. You are so strong. I can feel it! It takes so much patience that it feels like we MUST give in and do something to make us feel better, right? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Tell yourself to have patience. Tomorrow MAY be the day that you get some energy back! Love and cyber hugs to you!
Ty....FLUSH! That's all I have to say. Let them GO to the septic system where they belong!!!!!! LOL
HubbyWifeCab....Way to go on 3 days! I'm proud of you two sticking this thing out!
James, SaraLee, Lisa...How are you guys feeling tonight?
FMN...get rid of the migraine? Hope so!
Everybody have a MARVELOUS night! I'm cheering for you!
hey their tram doing pretty good ty for asking sounds like you are also i feel better everyday sometimes i dont even think of those things hope i can get as far as you hope everyone has a great evening and good luck
You need to find your puzzle piece.
I just found mine. Just found out I'm adhd
at 41...you never know what underlying problem
may be keeping you searching to *fill that hole
in your soul*. The feeling that made me search
for something, anything...I found my puzzle piece
and I swear, I don't feel the need to medicate myself
anymore, now that I have what helps me with what's
truly "wrong" with me. Hope I'm making some sort
of sense here, I AM adhd so I can misinterpret easily.
I suggest a checkup from the neckup. A real one,
not your primary, a psych. Just my opinion for
just about everyone, actually,lol.
You're going to be ok, just stay off the tramadol.
Drinking is helping you feel better from the wds,
they can last awhile.
Just don't jump out of the fryin pan into the fire.
I hope everyone's doing good and staying off the
hey all.... bad news. got more tram , hit em HARD.... took 9 right away, then another 6, then another 8. I have no idea why, even before I was thinking about quitting I didn't take that many that often...most i ever took i think was about 1000 mgs on average in a day (which is WAAAAAAAAAAAAY over the top to begin with)
i guess i shouldn't say I don't know why, I DO. My marriage is now ending. my husband told me today that he "doesn't want to continue this marriage". I heard that from him once before, when he was cheating with some 21 year old skank. AND THEN I hear that the malignant Tumors which were removed from my bladder have returned and the cancer is spreading to surrounding hollow organs according to my most recent scan.....long story short, prognosis is not looking good....
sooo, I'm kinda thinking as soon as they give me the word, I won't be giving much thought to getting off the tram... why bother?
But I'll wait to hear what the doc says before I give up completely I guess.... though it's really hard not to completely give up on everything when your whole life is fallign apart right before your eyes.
I do wanna say thanks to all you guys, having a place to talk and people who understand what I'm dealing with is helping so much. Even though right now I'm losing the fight.
Thanks you guys for posting :) We were hoping the pain meds would mask the unbearable w/d symptoms, and they sure did. Now pain meds are gone, and we are feeling so heavy. Just barely running on fumes. (Wife) I got that RLS thing going on, except it's my arm. We both just woke up from a 2 1/2 hr nap. Overall it really hasn't been a bad day. We're just big time weak n wimpy. Gotta go, Sixteen Candles is on. We love anything '80's! :)
After a troubled night with stomach pain after eating
pasta..realising that wheat (spaghetti) isnt a good thing
for me whilst withdrawing, possibly beyond..stuck it
out with raw food & enacting my meditation regime &
no tablets...found I could operate...thank-you for all
your ongoing journeys...they are key to my staying on
track without needing those dreaded pills...
SaraLee472...you are still getting there, even with your
slip up...just remember every relapse is more knowledge.
You have so much going on...you can rebuild...it is worth
it...we all believe in you & your honesty will envitably hold
you through...please push on...understandably it might not
seem it you right now but we understand something of
your struggle... you are one of this collective mob...
Sara Lee...I am wondering if you've considered seeing another dr. or a natureopath? Honestly..there are many ways to look at this. I speak from personal experience..my brother was given a cancer diagnosis 2 years ago..and he accepted what his dr. told him..that he had a year at most to live..so mentally, psychologically...and subsequently, physically..he shut down..and accepted that his days were numbered...he did not want to look at alternates..he just accepted that his Dr. was "God"..and that he was the final word...such BS... so i lost my brother..because he believed there was no hope..when in fact..there is a lot of hope out there...and your mind is very powerful in the healing or not-healing process..if that makes any sense. I understand things seem very bleak for you dear...i cannot imagine it..but I got a cancer diagnosis myself 8 years ago..cervical cancer...and i started heavy durty prayer and meditation every morning...for 1-2 hrs..positive affirmations (Ii would recommend Louise Hay)..I just started saying the affirmations and writing them out over and over...again..the mind is very powerful...I prayed for the physicians who were operating on me.. i saw myself healing..i affirmed every day that i was healing..and thankfully...the cancer was removed and i've had no reoccurrence..my point is this..please do not accept that there is no hope...there is ALWAYS hope.. Please consider other options if you want to...sending you lots of love, light (healing light)..prayers..and courage...strength and all that you will need to move thru all this.
HI. This is my 3rd try at getting away from t. The last time i was sober was 2/2010. I had been t and etoh free for almost 4 months. Prior to that i only lasted 4 weeks. All and all I've been on the hamster wheel for 3-4 years.
this last episode was quite frightening. I was taking 20- 50mg tabs/day and drinking a fifth of booze every 2-3 days.
I've made mistakes at work and missed out on lot of holidays and things with my family.
I'm full of hate and rage at myself and what I;ve done.
Magda...took courage to post...pls...as we say..this is no-shame, no guilt zone..you are not judged here..you are welcome..we've all been where you are at...i ..at least..know the self hate and rage...but you are reaching out ..that means there's a part of you that really wants help and wants to change and be rid of this horrible drug. i was 4-5 year user of tramadol..i am 26 days clean..i did taper...but if you are 2 days cold turkey..that is Great! really...pls give yourself some credit..what are you dealing with specifically in terms of withdrawal symptoms? there are so many out here who can offer advice...support..suggestions..folks who've been on at least as much and more than you on daily basis....so please do not feel alone...i hear you...others will too...just keep talking..keep posting..will send up prayers for you..i know that frightening feeling so well...this forum helped me realize that truly I am not alone..and others understand and will help in any way they can..
hugs, prayers for continued strength & courage.
Magda, honey it's never too late or too many tries! I tried so many times and got so discouraged that I thought I could never do it. Just make this the last. You know that it is too hard to keep going through it! Don't hate and start turning that angry energy into a positive outcome! You can do it
SaraLee, you have to have some positive thoughts in there somewhere. It's not over! Talk to and hear what the doc says before you make any judgments, ok?
Pete, great job!
Cabs, I had the restless arms too! OMG..it drove me up the wall! Take the Hylands!!!
Congrats to all of you and all your hard work. I am too very tolerant to opiates. I have been on and off of Vicodin ES and when I don't have that or run out too early. I take tramadol, to help with any w.d. they do help, but when I don't have them I do feel the w/d symtons from the tramadol. i would have never thought that tramadol would be addictive and it IS. Now the pain Doc wants me to try Fentenyl Patch 25mg. I am scared of w/d and don't know if it's a good idea. I think this website is great and the poeple here are soo real. I can see me going down this road of w/d very soon. I am afraid of the patch, but I can't keep taking the Vic's and Tramadol like I do.
Magda don't give up, you can do this.
I'm on day 29 of a CT 300mg Ultram ER
3-4 yr ride myself....it's worth it and you'll
be happy you did.
Pat the depression is really what got me too.
It does go away though, don't believe the sadness,
it's a lie your body tells itself to get more TRAM!
It's not permanent, any of the horrible WDS
and it's worth a short time down to be free of it.
I actually woke up the other day and FORGOT I was
supposed to feel like crap. It will happen
for you guys who're waiting.
If you want your future to be like your past,
take another tram.
Hi everyone! Sorry I haven't been on in a few days. I just got out of the hospital. I guess I was sicker than I thought. I ended up with pnuemonia and needed IV antibiotics. I'm feeling a little better, but I'm still pretty tired and weak. I'm glad I'm not in school right now! I'm still tram free and have been thinking about all of you. I look forward to catching up with all of your posts.
Hi Christina!! Happy to hear from you.
Thanks you Pat for making us cry. God, and the power of prayer ARE incredible. If your intentions are good then all will fall into place as you ask.
Sonya, remember that. Sounds like you are under dr's care and supervision, so absolutely talk with your dr about pain needs and w/d. Please don't take this the wrong way, but that's kind of a 'duh' don't you think? You don't have to do this alone. w/d are tough, but you have help.
We are still tram free. day 5 for caba. Day 4 for wife. We planning on sitting on the couch all day and watching movies. We just have NO energy. Big love to all
Can't take this anymore. We each took 3 trams. Husband can't take any more sick days. How do you work when you can't even stand for 5 minutes without feeling like your going to pass out? He will take the very minimum to be able to work. As for me, (he's sitting on the couch telling me that i'll do whatever he tells me to do! Ahahaha! That was a big joke by the way!) guess i'll keep trying to stay away from the pills. And it doesn't help that we just got word from the pharmacy that we have a bottle of trams waiting there. We hate that these pills make us 'better.' (wife) I'm not crying anymore, and my body doesn't feel stiff n puffy. Pat's words keep running through my head about no guilt or shame. We're gratefull for all you guys.
Still stay with us...Sitting on this forum for a while
we see plenty of busts...and understand why..my thinking
that everytime we bust we are closer to kicking these
things...it is always what you do next...how can I make
my efforts more effective next time?..what do I need to
put into place?...keep thinking & keep talking...
Andi69...welcome...you are in supportive company here...
lets us know anything we can help with...we have all
struggling in our own way & welcome you to our experience
& occasional advice...
Myself, had a difficult day after a 'great' one yesterday
mostly to do with my stomach & then my nerves as if
I was inside out. Stuck it out but admit I hadnt been
expecting it to be so tough on Day20..or thereabouts..!
These little pills really have big claws...fingers crossed
for a better day tomorrow...
Caba....one of the reasons you are weak and tired is WD, but the meds you are on are making it worse. After 5 days, the bad stuff is coming to an end, so you could slowly stop the WD meds. The clonidine and librium BOTH make you feel tired and sluggish. Don't take anymore pills! It will start the whole thing over again if you get back on them. And I know you don't want that! : ) Keep plugging. It will be over before long!
Andi...how are you now? Feeling any better? Tell us what is going on.
Magda...different advice out here on that...i personally take a xanax at night..some take nyquil nightime...there are other drugs that can help you sleep...for me the xanax is more benign than tramadol..i will wean off of it soon..but I have to sleep..bottom line. The sweats..I dont know..I have had that...but not intolerable..i usually try to get outside and breathe...the depression i can relate to in big way. Have you tried antidepressants? Please know that this is all part of the w/drawal (sounds like you've been down this road before).....I just want to tell you that I think it is amazing...3 days out from CT...please hang on ...i could never do CT...too much of a wimp.....so great courage indeed ...hang in there..keep talking...TH - what say you on the sweats & sleep?
Cabs...Yeah..you're right..a lot of folks may fall off the wagon and not be willing to say that ...that is exactly why i call this a no-shame, no - guilt zone.. 12-step saying "we are as sick as our secrets"....this is so true...so anyone out there who's had a slip u..please come out and talk about it...dont give up...dont give in...just get back on the horse...to say Tramadol is an insidious drug is a HUGE understatement....so cleverly waiting to suck you back in..especially when you are most weak and vulnerable...but I would suggest going back and reading some early posts..about folks who saw this as all out "war"...and got really pissed & angry...and engaged in full on battle..i think we have to get a certain amount of anger going ...at least I did...set out a determined attitude to not let this tiny little football rule my life. Having said all this..I must admit I had a thought this morning...it was this: if I could just take 1/2 of a tram...a day..that would give me the energy to do what i need to go..and 1/2 is not so bad...HELLO????????? took me about a minute to process that and realize that it was not me..but the tram..seductive as it is..trying to lure me back..because we all know that 1/2 pill would not be enough...there's not enough pills in the universe to fill up this hole...not enough booze, food, drugs, gambling, sex..whatever.. I have to fill up the hole with myself..some gentleness and self love..and knowing that I am good enough and I dont need to abuse my body mind and soul any longer..
Good God guys sorry for going on and on...but this addiction is huge...the fight of my life to be sure..i am 27 days out today..so .no..i wont take 1/2 a pill (i dont have one anyways and can't get any)...Cabs..climb back up...you can do it...you really can...
Christina...sweetie..so glad you are ok..
Andi...are you CT from Tram - how many days??? Talk to us..we will help in any way we can...
To all those out there reading...sending lots of love and hope that you are all ok ..
Leaving the porch light on.....
Love, hugs, peace, courage, prayers going up.
Good morning to all, I am now 41 days Tram free after a slow taper (yes, it can be done successfully!). Pat I loved your post above about taking just the half pill. There have been a few days these last 41 days when I thought "just one" thinking it would give me energy or boost my spirits. And no, one is never enough, and yes, I need to "fill the hole with myself" and I am learning. I am learning to be OK with the ups and downs of life, I am learning to sit still and feel; realizing that the bad passes as does the good....this is life! I also applaud your continuous support to so many who come here.
Caba, I am with Tramhater; stop the WD drugs, at least the Librium and any other Opioids you may be using to get through WDs. You are through the worst of it now! It does take a while for energy to return but it will be slower with Librium.
As far as sleep, I really suffered with insomnia up until about day 30, I am now actually sleeping well most nights without taking anything. My experience was that early in WD Nyquil caused worsening RLS but later, like 3 weeks out I could use it every 3rd night without a problem. I also used Ambien a couple of times and that was helpful if you can get some and not abuse it....my husband made sure I did not take it nightly, probably without his help, I would have taken it nightly. I also read through earlier posts that Unisom is supposed to be helpful, better than using Benadryl which can also increase RLS. Bottom line, I think it depends on where you are in WD and what symptoms are worst for you....AND know, it really does not take long before you WILL be sleeping again. You just have to give yourself time, be kind to yourself, know that you will not have a lot of energy and everything you want to do just will not get done. Kindness, kindness, kindness, remember to treat yourself like you would someone else....It seems to me many of us here are pretty darned hard on ourselves!
I applaud the honesty of those of you who have relapsed. Just keep moving forward, we are where we are in this process for a reason and when you decide now is the time for this to be over, it will be over. Get support everywhere you can. Have no shame, that will not help whatsoever, just try to learn from mistakes and move on!
Christina, so sorry you ended up soooo sick! Between Tram withdrawal, school and family your poor body was probably just exhausted! I am glad you are starting to feel better and have a little time over the summer to rest.
So at day 41 I rarely have a symptom; I do get an occasional craving, but symptoms are gone. There is life after Tram WD! It is so much clearer! My vocabulary is returning! I am enjoying socializing again! I am running in 10Ks again! I am so happy to be on this side and know, that after 7 years of daily 400mg of Tram use, if I can do it, those of you working to get off this horrible drug can do it. Hang on and see yourself on the other side.
Thanks to all of you for your honesty and continuous support!
So well today no tramodol doing okay took a Librum last night with my ambien and i slept like a baby, I havent took any libruim today only will take them when I fill the wds coming on. I decided that we are going out of town this weekend camping and we r going to stay so busy that i fill like i can go with out the trams and will be able to enjoy being with my family. We will see if everything goes okay.
calejea- Good thinkin' to go camping. You're out of the usual drudge of home life, and there's nothing asked of you except to relax if that's what you want. We'll meet you there! LOL!
Thanks you EVERYONE for your input. No more w/d meds. We've only been taking librium at nite, for the last 2 nites. Again, so gratefull to have you guys. (wife) I told my mom and twin sis two months ago of our addiction and that we want but don't know how to get off as w/d are so painfull and tormenting. Niether has offered any help or even mentioned it since. I'm thinking with another cup o coffee, i'll be pepped up enough for my usual workout. Have an amazing day.
Caba....Glad you decided on no more meds. It's the right thing to try at this point, but don't be surprised if you don't get a big energy burst!!! : D (that sarcasm was free of charge!!!!) I am truly proud of you both for doing this and for your honesty. I was honest on here about a relapse a few months ago, and it felt good. Nobody like banned me or anything! And I am still here...sitting in the cheering section!!!
Calejea...I hope you have a nice weekend of camping. You are tougher than me. I did NOTHING for about a week!
Diane...Day 41??? AWESOME! So happy for you. Feels great, huh? I love it! Glad you are symptom free.
Pat...Go grandma...Go grandma....Go grandma!!! I am cheering REALLY loudly for all of you today! You are such an inspiration to me. NOW.....get off that dang xanax!!! : D Don't get yourself a benzo addiction to deal with, huh?!!! Love you Ms. Pat!
Magda.....Ok...I wish I had some awesome advice for you. Are you using anything at night to sleep? Do you feel like it is RLS that is causing you to be awake, or is it just textbook WD insomnia? If it is RLS there are things you can try. After the acute WD stage, any of the OTC sleep things are good. Just NOT DURING! They make RLS a lot worse. And I had the sweats for a month, at least. It was ick! Keep some ice water with you all the time, and sip on it. I KNOW it is not what you want to hear, but it does go away. I would be sweating, and my feet and hands would feel like they had been in my freezer! Go figure! It does end. Promise! I kept a fan on me, especially at night. I had my ceiling fan on and my air on about 67....but I would wear socks and a sweatshirt to bed and cover up! It's just crazy!!!
Hi, I have a question for all the folk's who are completely over Tramadal. Perhaps on here for encouragement to others at this point.
How long did it take you to get energy back. I know alot of you complain about listlessness and absolutely no energy. I felt this aloooong time ago just inbetween 4 trams a day so can only imagine what it is now stopping at 20 a day. I briefly stopped 2 years ago for about 2 weeks and it was bad but I was taking Tylenol #3's to help so never really did it cold turkey.
Maybe it never comes back..Im not talking "dealing with it", if it has happened to you, when did it happen? A year, 6months...? I am under the impression it takes a really long time if at all.
Karen, it does come back! I have more energy now than I did in the first month after I stopped. That is when I felt like it's never going to get better. I am walking every day now, and I am sleeping good...most of the time! It just takes some time and patience. Vitamins will help some. So will exercise. But some of the energy thing has to do with insomnia, and I think some of it has to do with coming off of the anti depressant in tramadol. I started taking an AD about 2 weeks after I stopped the tram. It has helped me some, but it's not one of those things where you wake up one day saying, "all better now!" It is more subtle than that.
Maybe you should talk with your doctor??
I would say, to answer your question, that it takes a little over a month if all goes well, but that also depends on how long you were taking it!
Hello everyone this is (husband) talking. I was doing so good, 5 days was just not enough. I had to go back to work after 3 sick days plus the weekend. I had a Doc. note, but yesterday I was so week and tired that I had to leave work early. I have only had this job for about 8 month, and cannot risk loosing this good job that I have. We worked in the medical field, and both lost our last job where we worked together, due to another addiction.
At this point, I will be taking the bare minimum of Trams to get through the work day. I am thinking about 2 a day. I will consider this another tapering time. It took a long time for me to get this job, and is so very important for our family.
My wife is still doing very well, and is on her 6th day. She is able to stay at home, and cry her self silly. No, seriously though, it has a very powerfull effect on our moods.
I have never come across such a drug as this one, and I have been on a lot of them, and by far this has been the worst to get off. I never would have believed that something non-narcotic could be so powerfull. Well, thats about it for me right now. Thank you all for listening............
For me the energy is still gone, I'm on day 31 of 100% tram free.
I take ritalin, but it doesn't give me energy, it calms me down
as a true adhd...so I thought maybe it was that.
So, from what TH says, I'm just maybe lookin forward to some
energy here real quick? Hopefully? Coffee just makes me nervous
then I start in with the tachycardia and then it all goes down hill
OH YEAH, I was typing that I remembered TH's advice about
apple juice. GET SOME and drink it! It really helps with energy
besides the cramping because it's packed full of potassium,
tons of it...and potassium gives you natural energy.
AND potassium is good for your heart.
Think I'll go have some...
brb in a bit.
don't believe the sadness, it's a lie.
my biggest struggle with the wds was
the crying jags and hopelessness.
your house will look like your house again,
you will like your surroundings again and become
interesting in them again...it takes about a month
I think, to truly get past this drug...I too was told
it was safe to take, no wds, etc...BIG LIE #1.
this forum is proof that this drug is horrible but
also proof that people can live without it.
I am on day 42 (or 43) off Tram after a slow taper. I feel my energy is back to normal. I don't think I will ever be as energetic as the first time I took Tram....but remember, that backfires! It starts out that 1 gives you energy, then it takes 2, then it is 4....you all know the drill. Eventually, you are just in chronic WD. So, energy does come back. And like a normal drug free person, there are low energy days and there are high energy days, you work with the day you are given.
Cab (husband), I am sorry to hear you are taking Tram but understand the need to work. JUST BE CAREFUL!!!!!! You know how easy it is to slip back in. I would make a plan with a certain number of pills and get rid of the rest. If you have access to them, it is too easy to use them, if they are not available, it is no longer an option.
Actually, I want to be honest with you guys. You all know I got off of tramadol months ago. Well, guess what? I relapsed. My use was limited when I got back on it. I thought I could control the use like I did when I first started the drug in 2003. Kind of like my "low-calorie, martini" for occasional use. Turns out, my use turned into an everyday affair much more quickly this time around.
Yes. I am dependent once again and this is day 1 of cold turkey withdrawal (again). All detox meds I am using for aid are over-the-counter. Imodium is crucial for the diarrhea and stomach cramps. It is an opioid itself, but doesn't make it to the brain. It only works on smooth muscle. Took acetaminophen and aspirin (they barely do any good, but do actually calm down the bone and muscle pain a little) and caffeine. For sleep, I am sticking to diphenhydramine. I must warn new comers - diph can make the restless legs worse during tram withdrawal for some of you. For me, it makes a couple hours of sleep possible. Caffeine is there for some energy and a slight lift. It does work, but no where near the lift of tramadol itself. I am of course using mutli-vitamins as well. And instant breakfast drinks will replace actual meals for a couple of days.
I am having the same old withdrawal symptoms as before. It hurts. At least I know what to expect and if I can make it to day 4, things start to turn around.
Now excuse me. I'm going to pace the floors for a little while. May get a crying spell. So weird how tram withdrawal causes crying spells. Call me crazy, though. Sometimes tramadol w/d is an uplifting experience. All emotions and reality hits you so hard. It's bittersweet.
thanks for your honesty! I know you can do this-
just stay true to yourself the most and don't put
yourself through it again!
I started ultram er 300mg daily after kicking
16 trams a day CT a few years ago...
so I know where you're coming from.
highland leg cramps helped me alot with the
rls symptoms. So did taking my immodium
with grapefruit juice, you can google that one.
Honestly, I felt totally more spiritual and closer
to God during my wds. Music helped me more
than anything! I would come here and post
my inspirations, and so would others, so
post away, it helps us all and YOU.
(wife) Everything we read from you guys means the world to us. Thanks you mucho grande!
I mentioned in one of my last posts "no more w/d meds." Well last nite at 12am the RLS and insomnia kept me up so I took a librium. 2am still awake and ready to die from the RLS so I took another. 4am awake again. Finally got up at 7:30. I just want my energy back, and to sleep. I want to go get my nails done. I want to have fun with the kids. And i'm only on day 6 if you don't count my slip up. One good thing 'bout this w/d thing is I haven't had a cigarette in days. It's just not appealing when i'm not high. It's probly not a good idea to take just 2 right? Would it really hurt?
Great work! Just keep hanging in there.
10 minutes at time, then renewal each
hour sounds an effective strategy.
Whatever it takes...
I am now on Day22 & it does get better &
clearer with each Tram-free day. Later I am
off to my doctor as I have had an narly stomach
& my clean status enables me to seek help
without it being sidetracked by my pill taking.
Caba...Hey honey! Do exactly what you are doing. Take 5 minutes at a time if you have to in order to get through it! You are almost over the hump, ok? Don't go back now and have to do all of this over again!
Howcouldiknow...Glad you are back! Dust off and get started again! You know the drill.....Good for you on being honest with yourself and us! That is a great beginning. Keep us posted, ok?
Cab, both of you. I promise that the high you feel when the withdrawal ends is worth the hell you're going through. When I first got off of tramadol a few months ago. I paced and paced and felt like I was losing my mind. Every hour crawled by. It was hard to even drive. And typing or writing on paper was difficult too. The shaking was odd and scary. Day 1 was hardest, day 2 was difficult, day 3 was pretty bad, day 4 was not a good one, but day 5 I noticed withdrawal pain was starting to fade out. By day 8 I jumped out of bed one morning with just a little bit of the chills but was so proud of myself.
I of course relapsed recently and back to square one. Day 1 again for me. You guys can do this. I promise. Work makes it much harder. Much, much harder. I know. I have attempted to work during withdrawal many times when i would run out of pills early in the past. It's ungodly. Just please try to make it to day 4 or 5. Many will tell you it's a real turning point.
Tramahater, glad to see you remember me. And your name always puts a smile on my face haha.
Well. Can't sleep. I said all of my detox meds were OTC, but I took a low dose of Xanax at 9pm. It is from an old script of mine from way back. Still have several because I hate all benzos. Feeling drunk is not my kind of thing. I am happy to say, that the Xanax is helping with some of the physical discomfort from tram w/d. After all, Xanax slows down everything. When it started working I was kind of like "Great! I'm going to be able to sleep like a baby". Well, I lied down. Closed my eyes for 10 minutes and started tossing and turning. So I gave up. The Xanax should stop working in a few hours. Fine with me. Although I love how it has stopped the shaking. I can actually hold something steady in my hands now.
Don't worry. Benzo's aren't my drug of choice. And I've read up on benzo dependency and withdrawal and the risk of death associated with benzo withdrawal is terrifying enough to keep me away from everyday use.
Going to listen to some music, maybe play guitar, maybe try to sleep again.
See you guys later.
PS. Someone mentioned page 32 that when their script of tram was ready after being in withdrawal for a few days, they mentioned how they'd drive to the pharmacy with their music blaring and already being in a better mood despite still being in withdrawal. I couldn't help but laugh out loud at that. So true, my friend. I was the same way. Exactly.
Up late in Kentucky courtesy of a renegade bout of insomnia, and wanted to check in with everyone. Caba, Pete, TH, Howcould, and others, early on in this horrible process, it is literally moment to moment. Great job on keeping your attention on the PRESENT, the here and now, and not concerning yourself with the future at this point. It's really wasteful to worry during withdrawal about what might happen (because it might not!) a few days or weeks down the road. Stay in the moment. Distract yourself. Do something, anything. If you can't do anything active, pop in a movie or listen to music. Music heals. Laughter heals. I preach Yoga to everyone who will listen. It seriously changed my life and I wish I had known how much during early WD. I believe it would have made a huge difference for me.
Distract yourself, stay in the moment, and just breathe. Just close your eyes and breathe and keep telling yourself, "this, too, will pass. This, too, WILL pass!" And say it with the knowledge that, now, YOU are in charge of your life...NOT the little white pill! You are taking over the reins and assuming controlling interest in your own destiny, each day, from now on, and do yourself a favor and NEVER look back except to be grateful you made it through. Get through it however you can. As Emily said, Get of the pills, stay off the pills.
I'm in Kentucky, too. :-P and still awake at 3:46 am. I'm not even the slightest bit tired. Been listening to music, watching TV, playing guitar.
Withdrawal is trying to take an interest in guitar away from me (again), but I'm not letting it. I can't believe I haven't woken the baby up lol. I may wake her up anyway. Just to feed her, check her diaper. She sleeps all through the night, but I can't sleep cause of w/d so why not get her up? I think I may even be a better parent off of the tram. She wears me out a lot more quickly during w/d, but like you said. It will pass. All things must pass.
Insomnia is a relentless w/d syndrome. Xanax didn't even put me to sleep. That is sad, my friends. Sad. lol
just wanted to pop back in and give some encouragement to those of you who are going through hell right now....i've been there and i know how bad it is. the one thing that i found to help was exercise. i know how hard it is to move around when you're going through tram withdrawal, but i promise you....exercise will make you feel better. also remember to take b-12 and i also found fish oil to help with the depression. best of luck to you all.
****, ty. That's all I can do is move around lmao. Although, simple tasks such as taking trash out makes me short of breath during w/d. Exercise would give me a heart attack lol. I didn't use exercise the last time during w/d. But may give it a whirl. It seems to help a lot of people
Hi Tram, etc., thank you for your reply on my question of energy. I think that is what I am scared of the most. I am a single parent with a 14year old who has boundless energy and commitements. Plus I work and cant' afford to lose focus. I also am scared of the depression but know if I focus on the truth that God is greater than this world and all that goes with it I can do this.
I do have a question, you say the energy time frame depends on how long you have been on it? I have been on it going on 3 years...how long were you on it and how much did you take?
I started out 4 a day. 2 in am, 2 around 2:00p. Then I went to 8 a day. Now I am at 20. But, atleast I am stable now at 20. Believe it or not, there was a time I was up to 30+ so now, I am grateful to be stable at a lower dose.
I have not come to the point of stopping yet. Not sure why. I am a recovering alcholic so should know better. I will have 2 years sober this August. I started taking this drug for the depression/energy. My doctor actually allowed me to take it for that? Weird huh, it wasnt for pain. I asked him for something other than an AD because anti-depressants make me an isomniac and I dont like them..they make you gain weight, etc. (I used to be a anorexic/bullemic)..I guess you could say I am easily addicted to everything. My fear of weight gain (or shoudl say obsession) keeps me away from any drug with that side affect.
Wow Karen..congrats for being recovering alcoholic.. i am stunned that your dr gave you this drug for depression/energy..(even though it was great for depression & energy for a long time) .and yes, i get the piece about being addict..today is 30 days clean for me...i did the taper.. i guess im wondering..hasnt this drug ever turned on you? my experience was that it was taking more and more for me to get thru the day or thru a business trip..and the energy was starting to fade..and the depression was starting to come back....and my doctor said..NO...you need to get off this crap..then i found this forum..and it was all the brave souls out here who helped me start my process...i have to say that by tapering i did not have all the crazy WD symptoms...restless legs, etc... just lack of energy & depression..but i had already headed into that while on the trams..so might as well get off the train.
I am concerned that even at 20 a day...is there risk for seizure? i know everyone's tolerance level is different..
I wish you nothing but strength & courage...i guess that there's no way to get exact answers on the withdrawal process..i work also..and that is why i had to taper..i could not afford to take a week or two off and do the CT...
When you are ready to let it go..we are all here to help encourage..do whatever ..to support you in the process..
Love & Hugs.
Karen, I feel you about being easily addicted! I always say that I could get addicted to water if it felt good enough going down!!!
Ok, here's what I would do. Since you have a lot going on, you probably need to taper your dose as much as you can. Get down from those 20 a day ASAP! That's TOO many, girl! I don't want you to have a seizure. I think you should tell your doc that you want to stop taking them, so he/she can help you with a taper and possibly some meds to help ease the WDs. Clonidine is good. So is gabapentin. I have taken both, and they are very helpful. The thing is.....when you stop completely, there are going to be some days of WDs. There is no way around that even with tapering. And tapering isn't easy. You have to be very disciplined. I could never do it!!! Cold turkey was my only option. It was pretty brutal, but it was over much more quickly than tapering.
I can tell you that you will feel much better when this is over, and you are free of pills. They run our lives for awhile, and then we wonder why we did it for so long?!!!!
Thankyou so much Tram and desperate, I appreciate your feedback and will take to heart your insight and recommendations. I know you are both right.
When my doctor prescribed these, I jokingly told him when I was sick earlier in year my other doctor prescribed Tramadol and it was the best AD and its too bad it isnt because that would be perfect. That is when he said it is a "good little drug" and I asked if I could take it instead and unbelievably he said yes. I was shocked but also felt guilty leaving as even if he didnt think it was bad I knew it was.
I am concerned about seizure and pray every day to protect my daughter and others from me having one. I had one in November but have never had one since and that night I was popping one right after another, sticking my head in a hot oven...but I hear you on the dangers of this.
Ty ..you need to come here and be my personal butt-kicker/trainer.. i can't get myself out the door to exercise..and i know how critical that is...again..i think back about how much of a maniac i was exercising on the Tramadol..scary..
Karen: congrats on your two years, that is awesome! I consider myself a friend of Bill W.'s with ten years off of alchohol. Apparently, I've heard that these trams work a lot the same way in the brain as alcohol, which was rocket fuel for me, not a depressent like for anyone else. Trams were indeed approved for use in Europe as an AD, years before it was OK'd here for pain.
I was up to taking 16 trams a day.
Quit CT then a year later, desperately in pain,
accepted some from my new pain doc in the form of
ultram er 300mg daily and I just recently CT'd those and
have 32 days tram free. It can be done, but don't put yourself
in a bind!
Keep coming back here and it'll happen when it's supposed to.
I agree with everything Pat said. When I was at 16 a day, sometimes I would get so dizzy I would have to pull over
driving. Noooo, it couldn't be the trams...but it most certainly was.
Cabs: hang in there, don't give up! just keep coming back and it'll happen if the intent is there.
I never planned on quitting, i was set to do a taper with my doc's blessings and jumped the gun
into a CT when I read this forum and remembered what I'd already been through. So, I took the
plunge. I've been addicted to every fricken thing I've taken I swear, just like TH said about water,
lol! I never quit taking anything without leaving claw marks and I was able to do this, so you can too!
You're lucky to have each other;-) You remind me of me and my hubby.
Ty gives awesome advice too, exercise helps a ton. I've gotten on the glider we have
and played my fav band and just ROCKED out,lol...it really does help with the depression
and it helps your body replace what tram was giving it a LOT faster, which is going to help
the wds, ultimately....
It's funny, I think it was TH who said that just when she thought the wds were
never going to end, they got a lot better. Well, that's where I'm at. And, to make
it worse, it's still rainly and gray here instead of sunny, which we were expecting
a month ago...so it's been daunting at best. So, today when I felt like I couldn't
take it any more, I remembered what you said so I must be due for it to get
way better! That's kinda how it works during the whole wds. Just hang in there
and know that it's worth it to take a week out of how many weeks we live in our
lives to get the hell off this evil stuff.
My brother has gout and his doc just gave it to him. I'm so mad and sad
for him...he's a total alcoholic and will be hooked instantly. I'm
scared to death for him and his wife just isn't getting the clue I'm
oh how i have missed this place. booba here, from way back. had a relapse, fell of the wagon, and was up to 20 a day again easy. I was clean from Nov last year until april this year. i was doing ok. i dont know what happened. i have no real pain, never really have. i have always been kinda depressed, but i missed the energy. the depression from the wd led to laziness that led to my dirty cluttered house that made me depressed. so i ordered from the damned online pharmacies. already in major debt, filin gbankruptcy, now making more debt. what the hell is my problem? i have a good job a great 5 year old, a decent husband. why am i still looking for more? what doed tramadol do but make me a zombie who still hasnt cleaned our house?i have missed you guys, pharma, fmn, and was scared to post til now. so i took 3 trams yesterday at 7 am, and have had none since. the fun has already started. just waiting for the worst of it. no one knows of course, just you guys. im so ashamed. i had been doing great. keep moving newbies.....you can do it. it can be done.
booba, do NOT be ashamed. It takes courage to face this thing, and you have it! I've been in your shoes, started over after kicking, so I know how it feels. You'll never have to go through it again. Have you talked to your doc about energy and depression issues? There's other, safer meds for that. It really helped me with that too, so I do know where you're coming from. If you get to what I call *flailing*, come here, it helps...even if no one's here, but I think you know that! I didn't quit needing tramadol til I found out I was adhd, and now I feel better because I have what I NEED in my brain, to think right.
Before, when I didn't, I was constantly searching for something...anything...really, go to your doc and be honest. If he doesn't help you, get another one. They don't always look down on you for that, I promise.
But, right now we just need to try to make sure you're comfy. Tramahater has some great advice on this stuff, such as:
make sure you have your comfy clothes clean and ready for when you're down. Throw them in the dryer then put them on
if you get all cold and sweaty. Also, get some highland leg cramps, it helps with the RLS (flails, i call them). Get in a searing hot bath as often as possible, or a hot tub's even better. IN the bath use epsom salt, it does help. A heating pad on my stomach really helped the RLS too. I'll be around if you need anything, message me. Place looks kinda dead today.
Im here guys...unless im traveling i will be here...Booba welcome back...i've said this before..this "no-shame, no-guilt" zone...pretty counter productive.
but i also notice this month has been quietest since sept of last year...maybe folks are vacationing...i just hope everyone is ok...i know what you mean..seems like we are never enough...so we have to keep filling ourselves up with "more" more drugs...booze...etc...i am being redundant from a few posts back..so forgive me..but i just want to feel like right now..this moment...today..i am enough...i am good enough...im ok just as i am..i dont need to go chasing after something..someone else's good opinion of me..whatever...that's where a lot of my troubles originate..when i start chasing after what others think about me (do they like me..dont like me..again im not good enough)....fact is..as my therapist says...it's none of my business what other people think about me.. so so true.. so when im crazed..and feeling not good enough..the substances start to call out to me..my job today is to figure out how to be ok with me..so that i dont take a tramadol..
Lisa u are a sweetheart.
to all the others...hope you are all ok... we are here..
Love, hugs...leaving the porch light on.
Pat, you're therapist is right:
If they don't LOVE You, it doesn't matter what THEY think.
Something else I read in the Four Agreements:
Never take anything personal. Everyone is pretty much so wrapped
up in their own stuff all the time, that's it's almost NEVER about
you (us). It's pretty egotisical (sp) to think that it is,lol.
Those affirmations are important. Just like Stuart Smalley says:
I am good enough, I am smart enough. And doggonit, people like me!
LMAO...I'm already self medicating with food. All I've done is eat
lately. I've read it's ok though, my body needs it. The carbs help
seratonin creation or something...so I'm going with it.
I can lose the weight later. BUT I'd rather be fat n happy
then skinny on DRUGS. Seriously!
Booba, are you ok?
I'm okm i do this on my phone, so my typing *****. I really don't care about what people think of me cept my parents and kid. i am so mad at myself for getting messed up in this again because I was clean for 5 months, and that really is a big accomplishment. I have the hylands and immodium and am acting like I have a stomach virus. The paws is what really gets to me. before i had the horrible RLS, stomach stuff, insomnia so I know what to expect. the mind zaps are bad too, but i havent had them too bad yet.
Hi!!! I want to wish everyone a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. I have 84 days clean, today! So...I am celebrating THAT too!!!
booba, eventhough you know what to expect, I know it is still hard! The hylands and imodium will help, as you know. The insomnia goes on for awhile. You also know that. I can't really tell you anything you DON'T know, but I am here to support you and anyone else who is brave enough to demand their life back from the stupid white devil!!!
I hope the rest of my buddies are doing well.........
Lisa you are absolutely right...like "it's all about me"...good God..get over yourself pat...i heard this in a meeting one time "im an egomaniac with an inferiority complex"...LOL LOL... that's about it..sorry..wish i had your resolve and Booba's..about not caring what others think...
Ihope you guys are enjoying the weekend..
Lots of love and hugs.
Booba...it took a lot of strength and courage for you to admit a temporary setback and come back here to face us all.
We are glad you came back and will help you along on your recovery.
You did suffer a long time with your WD and I feel an antidepressant like wellbutrin may help you,but some doctors will not prescribe it with history of seizures.
You should get your thyroid checked because often low thyroid or subclinical levels cause depression ,tiredness and weight gain.
I had mine checked out and am now newly on thyroid meds.
Keep posting i and am sending cyberhugs and kisses to you.
Ir remember you and "hanginin" quit at the same time and encouraged each other a lot.
Have not heard from him either.Hope he is OK.
Pat, sorry, I was talking about me thinking everything is about me, not YOU,lol, sorry bout that!
I've heard that same thing in a meeting and LMAO:-) My other favorite one is:
"If you run into more than three a$$holes in one day, YOU'RE one of them"...pardon my french!
I totally care too much about what others think, that's why I try to medicate with anything and
everything so I can be what *you want me to be*, like a chameleon.
Checking in on Booba and others, how's it going folks?
I can honestly say that at day 33 or 34 I have had three good days in a row.
I define good days as:
and some actual, real, energy.
the desire to do things because
I see they need done, not because
I feel PERFECT enough to do them, haha...
hope everyone's enjoying their weekend.
I had my thyroid checked not too long ago when I had my physical, do I am pkay there. I had to come back here cuz you guys are my only support. My last trams were fri morn at 7 am, and i dont feel bad, just rls and stomach trouble. I have to be well tomorrow to take the little one to a pool party. she is so excited and i cant let her down. spent the last 2 days in a dark room trying to sleep and deal. I dont know what caused the relapse, cuz I just hit the 5 months clean mark and had been doing so well. i nevr should have stopped checking in with the site, because it has been so helpful to me. I will be posting and checking in with you guys because you are all I've got.....my lifeline in a sense. i have my immodium and epsom salts so I should be ok. I do have to go back to work Tuesday so I hope to be better enough to go back. fight on warriors. we can do this as long as we stick together and take it one day at a time. Love you guys. good to see you pharma. you have always been so helpful and supportive.
Booba: so VERY glad to see you here! Please understand that relapse is an extremely common thing for us addicts, and is NOTHING to be ashamed of. Unfortunately, it's part of the recovery process for a great many of us! The important thing is facing it head on, dealing with it, trying to understand what caused your "stuck point", and learning from it as you move forward in sober living. NO SHAME, no judgment my friend.
For all those who experience post-acute withdrawal difficulties (possibly resulting in relapse if it isn't dealt with!!!!), please look into the book STAYING SOBER: A GUIDE TO RELAPSE PREVENTION by Gorski. I read it a while back and have found much info in it to be useful and enlightening. It is somewhat clinical in its writing, but for those of us starving for information and some light on the sometimes dark path, it might be helpful.
Post-acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) is, in my opinion, a serious topic for a lot of us. Not all of us, perhaps. But many of us. If you are more than three or four weeks out and still feeling seriously vulnerable, please know you aren't alone. The symptoms vary but generally include depression, memory problems, fatigue, and a freakin' crazy reaction to stress. Many other things, too. But those are common. If you're experiencing them, you aren't alone. It's normal. Take a deep breath and take some time to read up on it. Not dealing with it can make you much more vulnerable to relapse.
Love and strength to all fighting this terrible addiction. Together we are so much stronger than we could ever be alone.
That is a shock that a doctor prescribed tramadol to you for depression. Venlafaxine could have been used and possibly would work great for you. Tramadol and venlafaxine are nearly identical to each other. Venlafaxine does not have any opioid action, however. If you need proof, just look at their structure and full chemical name. Almost identical.
Believe it or not, some doctors are opening up to the possibility of tramadol being used to treat depression. It is usually done under close supervision of a psychiatrist. I don't agree with this approach, unless every other option has failed extensively.
A company that branches off of Grunthenal is actually working on isolating tramadol's opioid effects and keeping its SNRI properties in tact and promote it as an anti-depressant. A fairly simple procedure. However, one of the isomers that is responsible for mu-opioid binding is also responsible for it's serotonin reuptake. They are having a tough time working around this at the moment. They could just strip away all of the isomers and keep the (1S,2S)-(–)-enantiomer, but the isomer responsible for the drugs reuptake of serotonin and mu-opioid binding also promotes serotonin release (a fairly new discovery). This serotonin releasing property could be responsible for tramadol's sudden anti-depressant effect. If it just inhibited the reuptake, it would take several days to feel anti-depressant activity just like all anti-depressant's currently used in the industry. Tramadol is an extremely complex (and horrible) molecule. I think trying to toy with it to market it as an anti-depressant would be a mistake. It's just too complex and has too many actions on the brain and stripping it down, rearranging it, etc could possibly make it an even more dangerous compound IMO.
Tramadol has 7 actions in the brain. That's a lot. And means that 7 things are going out of whack during withdrawal. I can provide you with literature that clarifies these actions if you wish.
Howcouldiknow, I personally would be very interested in the lit. Thanks so much for this post, as scary is it is for me (and others, I'm sure) to see how this terrible drug is being tweaked in order to gain ever more market share (and, I fear, harm more lives).
Just had a big fatigue day @ work but managed to get
through without any pills. Thank God! It is Day24 for me
& still struggling with fatigued muscles & clammy head.
My bowel movements & stomach have begun to return to
some normality. Just remember that withdrawal is a long
term proposition & looking forward to us all coming out
on the positive side of the ledger.
Linkster. Wow night 6. You are doing so great. Don't be discouraged by some of the symptoms still hanging around (or even possibly getting worse). Acute withdrawal can last up 5-14 days. All depends on your dose, how long you used, and your own body. I bet by day 7 or 8 you will begin to feel more normal. Of course, depending on how long you used, sometimes even after the symptoms pass, you still won't be completely normal for a bit.
Glad to hear day 3 and 4 were easy for you. I bet that makes tonight much worse and discouraging, but I promise, no matter how long you were using, it's night 6. You are either halfway through or 75% through. I remember my first time off of tramadol, I hopped out of bed on day 9 and noticed I had no more RLS. Keep your head up. You're almost there, friend.
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