May 17, 2010
what should I do?
I like to be happy and peaceful...it makes weight loss /maintaining and staying on focus easier....a problem is churning in my life. I already know before someone writes and says it is a small problem in he realm of life but it is a big and it is upsetting and Big....to me, the problem is:
I thought I had a best friend, who we confided in one another what now seems too much. ..I confided what a great lover I had in a man I have been seeing for a few months..not in a daily relationship. She and I go out frequently , he and I do not..we go out once in awhile..he has been the only one and she knew it.. for as we are not compatible in age and so we are lovers and friends at a distance, he is single/divorced and not married but younger She and I into my lover at a club we all go to , he is usually not there on that night (Fri) and she went right up to him .I was stopped by people and did not see him and when I turned about and saw him, she was already with him talking. He moved away and he and I were talking when I was called away from him. I watched as again she went right up to him and began talking .............she totally was monopolizing my loves time and he was allowing it, ignoring me and not moving to be with me , either of them..........I was shocked that neither one even bothered about my feelings or where I was ..I wanted to leave a after about and hour and a half of this..yes I guess I could have gone and joined them ...but I wanted him to come to me and wanted her to give him space....she had done this before with another man I invited somewhere but he and Ii were not intimate, it was only the first time we even met out.....at that time I told her how girlfriends dont do this to other girlfriends men.....
This time ,.I went over board while taking her home...screamed even!! I was hurt and disappointed by her and him...but men do come and go but friends do not hit on men who are involved with your good friend in my book of "being a good friend"girlfriend and I told her bad stuff and called her names.........understand..this woman has been treated royally by me...she has no real privacy because she lives with her daughter and so I have allowed her to bring a bed to my home into a spare room I used as an extra office, so that she can have a man there day or night, if she wishes, she as no money to pay any kind of rent for utilities or anything It has been a gift from me to her for her enjoyment .
I really want her to leave my home to me and not know what I am doing again....can we get past this..I fell betrayed ...a true lack of respect to me , slap in the face of friendship offered and taken by her..........?? any suggestions..comments..
I think I will never be able to get back to the feeling of trust once felt for either of them..I don't like this feeling and hope that it passes but I am feeling that I might have to drop them both to get peace of mind...I went over board with anger to her, I apologized to her for my outburst and what I said...
I have not spoke to him as even before this and since 5/5/10 which was 8 days when this happened , we had not been together and we were at some odds but I had hoped we could make up... He does not seem to really care about it or even about me really..age difference is wrong for a real relationship and I need to get past him anyway...but I never expected she would get in the way and make that decision easier for me..because now she is also on my change people list..I have friends that I have had since age 5.....but sometimes...things and circumstances change and you must move away from the situation.........I must have peace in my life to make my life better...sounds cruel ..but trust and respect are very basic for relationships to work.....