Aug 01, 2008
I don't know if anyone remembers, and certainly I wouldn't blame anyone, I only mentioned it in passing, but my neurologist dumped me when she found out I had hep c and she (I feel) lied about the reason. This was in Sept of 2007 I believe. Well in December of 2006 I had a couple of TIA's. No big deal, but I had told her during our regular appointment and she made me go do a bunch of bloodwork and an echocardiogram and some other testing. She never said word one to me after (and trust me, I quizzed her and asked for copies of the paperwork and she kept saying she didn't have it yet), but said that everything was fine.
Now I should tell you that she and her husband have many many children and they are big NRA nuts. I think they are Jehovah's Witnesses, and kind of "end timers" not that there is anything wrong with that, I just always wondered how they worked the possibility of transfusions in with that since they are both doctors (there is a bunch of anti choice lit all around the office - I haven't had a uterus in a while, so it never came up, lol). Anyway, she had been a decent doctor until about two and a half years ago, and then understandably, I thought at the time, she had a terribly difficult time. Her last child was born with a very difficult glaucoma that had to be operated on at Duke at very short intervals, just weeks apart at a time, over and over and over.
And I would ask after her because I just felt so badly that they were having to go through that, so hard with such a tiny little one. But her personality changed over the next year and a half or so and she became very umm... controlling isn't exactly the word, its kind of like she needed everything in her outside world to be very ordered, perhaps because of the chaos and difficulty in arranging everything they had on their plate at the time. Only, she didn't have any self awareness of this. None. At. All. She was becoming harsher and rather more constantly curt in her interactions with patients, so different from her old persona, and I just saw her becoming more and more rigid. So much so that when I came in to see her I structured my visit tightly just because she seemed to tolerate little that was distracting, or small talk, so I just wrote down my questions and tried to keep our visits short, sweet and to the point. As it happened, she was one of the earlier people I told that I had been raped, before I went to the police because I had happened to have an appt with her and I wanted a referral to a social worker (which I used to be, oddly enough), or a program, or something. She YELLED at me that I HAD to report it, that it was my responsibility, yadda yadda, which hey, I agree with, BUT, it certainly wasn't very nice or empowering the way she handled it - and I felt bullied at a time when I was very fragile and when I had come to her for help.
And then when she found out at the next appt I had hepatitis c and also might not be able to get botox for the next year (I got it via my insurance for my migraines), she had her office girl call me three days later and drop me as a patient, saying that I had broken their narcotics policy (I didn't) and one of her main things was that I'd gotten this med, I can't remember what its called offhand, but I'll add it when I do. oh yeah. It was either fiornal or fioricet, but whichever it was, it was the one WITHOUT the codeine. I PURPOSELY had it prescribed that way, and had been using it for years, but all of a sudden I have hep c so she needed to check with my pharmacy. And I only use one pharmacy, so I wasn't trying to hide anything from her. And in the spirit of being honest, there was one trip I had to make to the ER to get medication because she was out of town. She had been my doctor for SEVEN years when this happened and I just got the distinct impression that she and her staff didn't want to risk injecting me and possibly getting a dirty needle stick, and I say this because of the way they acted when I told them, I didn't tell them until after I had received that day's shots and it was like they couldn't scoot across the room away from me fast enough. Plus, why of all times would they have trumped up this deal when they did, unless it was about the hepc?
So tonight, I was looking through that lab work to see if there was anything useful that I needed to file, and I was amazed to find that in January of last year, I had an echocardiagram that didn't look like hell on earth, but it didn't look dynamite either, and she never disclosed it to me. And at the same time, and this freaks me out more, my anticardiolipin antibodies came out HIGH. Now, we had done this bloodwork and the tests because I had HAD TIA's. Also, my dad and my grandmother both have heart disease, my grandmother has had a triple bypass, and dad has killed pretty much the bottom third of his heart and has a pace maker. Or maybe this was indications of auto immune renal issues at the basis of my epogen dependent anemia (it wasn't miscarriages or fertility issues because I didn't have a uterus then (sorry for the tmi) and just one ovary and I have only had one pregnancy, and I carried it to term (my son Dylan). But all of these anticardiolipin AB Igm were high, and the anticardiolipin AB IgA was also positive, but it was a low positive. I guess I will fax these to whosewhatsit tomorrow so he'll have it since he's ordered some of these same tests.
A question I have I guess is, is there any research on interferon or ribavirin use and the heart? Because if I had some issues with mine before, maybe I should get it checked again now that I have finished treating. I know the hepetologist told me he wants me to get my liver scanned every year because of my three tumors. He said something weird that I don't even know if I can remember in order to replicate. Something about the type of material the tumors are made out of being fibrous so even though they are benign they can bleed? or no, I know. It was, that if they get too big, they are too fibrous or, I think that was the word, to be effective at doing what liver tissue is supposed to do, so he wants to know, once a year, that I have enough viable liver tissue to do what the liver needs to do. Because he said if they got too big they could take away from the liver's ability to do its real job. But it looks just fine so far. So no worries there, I just am about due for another this year,
You know, some doctors are SO conscientious. But how can some others live with themselves, like this lady, not even warning me, when they sit on a bad result that could literally affect your health if you don't (and I'm not saying this particularly thing will, just sayin') have the knowledge to make an informed decision about your health? She never even told me which tests she was running when she drew blood for these, just saying it was a cbc. I'll go to Birmingham and get them to check me out and I'm sure I'm fine, but I just don't understand playing with someone else's life. It really upsets me. I thought I couldn't be surprised any more, but I guess I can. Oh well, going to bed. I'll need to deal with this tomorrow when I am less upset.