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May 28, 2010 - 3 comments
So I have what is quite likely to be my final appointment with my specialist later today. I am expecting to be told there is nothing else that can be done for me at this time. I think the actual trip will be a waste of time but best to go I suppose. I am not yet a candidate for ankle/sub talar fusion, I would not want this done at this time anyway, it’s irrevesable as well and with the advances in medical procedures and stem cells I think it would be silly to have a fusion. Knowing my luck the week after I had it fused they would come out with a way to fix it!
At least if he says there is nothing else he can do surgically I will be able to get a referral to pain management, I have heard this is a great help. It’s just a bit though facing the prospect of being in pain and unable to walk properly for the rest of my life, but if that’s the way it is I will just have to learn to get on with it. On the upside it will be really good to know no more surgery the last 4 years have been though with 3 operations jammed into that time. I will have a bit of peace and some time to get on with my life. I just need to figure out exactly what it is I want to do! I think finishing the degree I started is out, too demanding physically. I think having a year finding my feet again and figuring out what I can and can’t do is best. It will take me a while to get back into working/student life probably will start off with a part time job and slowly build up from there.
It’s best not to get too far ahead in my thought process though, one day at a time and all that! Plus need to get today out of the way first, really not sure how I will react to being told there is nothing else to be done. I have known this day was coming and have thought it through. I am expecting to be a little sad and emotional. But who knows....
At least if he says there is nothing else he can do surgically I will be able to get a referral to pain management, I have heard this is a great help. It’s just a bit though facing the prospect of being in pain and unable to walk properly for the rest of my life, but if that’s the way it is I will just have to learn to get on with it. On the upside it will be really good to know no more surgery the last 4 years have been though with 3 operations jammed into that time. I will have a bit of peace and some time to get on with my life. I just need to figure out exactly what it is I want to do! I think finishing the degree I started is out, too demanding physically. I think having a year finding my feet again and figuring out what I can and can’t do is best. It will take me a while to get back into working/student life probably will start off with a part time job and slowly build up from there.
It’s best not to get too far ahead in my thought process though, one day at a time and all that! Plus need to get today out of the way first, really not sure how I will react to being told there is nothing else to be done. I have known this day was coming and have thought it through. I am expecting to be a little sad and emotional. But who knows....
Thinking of you and hope all goes well. Good luck on your decison making too.
How did it go , have just read this hope its good news ...sometimes getting any news helps us as at least we have answers and will make a decison which way to go ...good luck let us know what he says ....marg
It was as I expected! Nothing else can be done at this time to make things better, I will at some point need either a full or partial fusion of the ankle joint and/or subtalar, also I am likely to need the joint of my big toe fused too, he is uncertian how long I have before this will be needed. The specialist is writing to my GP to say I need a referral to Pain managemt (SO Happy about this, I have been trying to get one for the last three years!) and that I should continue with **************. I guess I am happy about this, although I have a lot of conflicting emotions about it all. It kind of ***** that I will always be in pain and stuff. The specialist said that the pain mangement clincs/courses really help people a lot so that is encouraging I guess. I am not quite sure how I feel knowing that the pain/lack of movement will only get worse over time, I think I am struggling a bit with this concept, I had the 'comfort blanket of hope' that surgery would fix me for years and now that is gone. It will certainly be nice not to have surgery for a few years (fingers crossed) kind of had enough of that kind of thing! Also I am not keen on being on meds for at least the next few years but I guess if they give me a better quality of life then it's a good thing.
I need to spend some time getting used to the idea that my foot/ankle problems are a keeper, then I will get on with planning my life. I am moving out of parents and getting a place with my girlfriend in the next couple of months so have that to look forward too even though I am sure the actual move will be stressful! She lives in a bigger city so there will be more oppurtuinity for work, social life etc, so once I am settled things should get better!
I need to spend some time getting used to the idea that my foot/ankle problems are a keeper, then I will get on with planning my life. I am moving out of parents and getting a place with my girlfriend in the next couple of months so have that to look forward too even though I am sure the actual move will be stressful! She lives in a bigger city so there will be more oppurtuinity for work, social life etc, so once I am settled things should get better!
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