All Journal Entries Journals

Not such good news

Jun 04, 2010 - 6 comments

My numbers dropped from 699 yesterday to 412 today with my progesterone level rising up to 25. Still bleeding, but no more cramping.  One more round of blood to do on Monday before the decision is made that it's 100% guarantee that I'm miscarrying.  I was already prepared for the bad news today. I've built this wall around myself so when I hear the news I dont get so upset. I'm trying to stay strong which is hard to do, but I feel like such a failure because it's because of me that DH and I aren't getting pregnant. He's 100% healthy and I have this silly MTHFR blood clotting disorder. I'm just feeling less of a wife and woman at this point. I know it's silly to think that, but that's how I'm begining to feel.

Going to be staying off my feet the entire weekend and just try and rest. That's about all I can do at this point besides pray.

Post a Comment
590782 tn?1351704524
by claud9, Jun 04, 2010
I am really sorry that you are going thru this. I have been where you are at. I was also diagonose with MTHFR (homogenouse) earlier this year, I've had 3 m/c in the past 4 years. I am currently 22.5 weeks pregnant so even though you have MTHFR it does not mean that you cannot have a child.

I will keep you in my prayers.

1120498 tn?1326023935
by foxylady62903, Jun 05, 2010
Thanks! I have the c677t copy of MTHFR and was hoping that I would be able to maintain a pregnancy at this point.  My RE feels that's the reason why I miscarried back in December.  Do you take the lovenox through the entire pregnancy? I would imagine so since we continue to throw clots into the fetus and the lovenox keeps the blood flowing smoothly.

Avatar universal
by Kricket212, Jun 05, 2010
Foxy, I am sorry but hang in there.  It may not necesarrily be the reason you m/c.  Maybe it was just a bad embryo as my RE feels in my case.  I also have the MTHFR & PAI-1.  He is telling me not to take the lovenox so very confused.  He said it's very controversaial & it is not proven.  Try to keep your chin up!!

976035 tn?1379009147
by Brody641, Jun 05, 2010
OMG.  I know EXACTLY what you're feeling.  Feeling less like a woman.  This is  miserable.  I unfortunately go my confirmation yesterday.  My beta dropped from 429 to 74.  I am absolutely devastated.

I'm holding out hope for you.  Please keep me posted.

1120498 tn?1326023935
by foxylady62903, Jun 05, 2010
Hang in there girls! I know we'll be able to make it through.

Avatar universal
by faithandhope2009, Jun 06, 2010
Foxy-My husband had testicular cancer several years ago.  His sperm was banked prior to the chemotherapy and radiation, and since it's frozen, they tell us it's the male factor.  Amidst this process, I was diagnosed with Celiac disease.  My husband and I both consider ourselves 'special' (not necessarily in a good way), but each time we've gotten BFNs, I know my husband blames himself.  He's even said to me, "It's my fault."

Do you know what I say right back to him?  I state, rather emphatically,"did you ask for cancer?  did you ask to get sick?  ask for testicular cancer?"  It is NOT his fault, in no way shape or form.

I feel the same applies for you and for all the women and men out there that have conditions that prevent them from conceiving and carrying naturally.  We didn't ask for these disorders and health issues, and it's not our fault.  I know it's really hard to accept that, but we are who we are and these are our lots in life, as much as it ***** some times.

I'm thinking of you so much today and saying LOTS of prayers.  Take care of yourself, we're all here for you.


Post a Comment