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Jun 05, 2010 - 6 comments

Subject: Fw: Sutherness

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit , and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20 _____
Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!
Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened.
"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say ,"Bless her heart" ...
and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."
Southern girls know men may come and go,  but friends are fahevah !
Now,  Shugah, send this to someone who was raised in the South or wish they had been!
If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could.

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1301089 tn?1290666571
by Sarajmt, Jun 11, 2010
May I add one?  Only a southerner knows what the vapors really are!

This girl born and reared in Tennessee and educated at THE University of Alabama also grew up talking football every day of the year.  

973741 tn?1342342773
by specialmom, Jun 12, 2010
I love it!  I was a transplant in the South and have fond memories.  I'm in the Mid West now . . . but miss them Southern ways!

1035252 tn?1427227833
by Ashelen, Jun 12, 2010
Only a southerner ACTUALLY uses the phrase "ya'll come back now, y'hear?" and means it whole-heartedly.

Love this some giggles out of it and I can relate to every single one. I live in N.FL...aka South Georgia, and we're a little bit country, a little bit chic..but my husband's family is ALL country and I love it. My family is all recently immigrated from Europe (within a generation) so we've got very little southern flavor, but I pick it up more every single year and love it because I know that what I'm raising my kids to is warm and genuine.

535822 tn?1443976780
by margypops, Jun 12, 2010
As an ex foreigner I have haerd some of these on the movies, I did go live in Florida .. I like that one about having the vapours hooo... I heard that on an old movie ...its the same as the way I speak from England 22 years here I still say English 'sayings'  sometime you guys dont understand what I say   love it all   Southern Rocks ....

1798872 tn?1346164585
by bamabred, Dec 03, 2011
There are two types of people in the world,those from the south and those how wish they was from the south.Just a good o boy from bama.

766573 tn?1365166466
by Idyllic, Aug 21, 2012
Ha I love this.  I was just about to add an expression for "fixin" but I see you have one. The way I would have phrased it,
"Only a Southerner is fixin to do something; everyone else gets ready.

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