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Moment of Weakness

Jun 09, 2010 - 2 comments

I feel like I'm drowning in a sea of should haves, would haves, could haves.

My life at this point feels like such a waste. What have I done with it? I'm almost 26. Not married. Didn't go to college. Work a basically dead end job. About to move back with my parents. Never been to Europe. Never lived outside Utah.

The nevers just keep adding up. They're almost equal now with all the horrible things I HAVE done.

And now I'm a nutcase. I can't imagine getting on a plane.....there goes my dreams of traveling. I know I'm hard to deal with, I'm so emotional and basically out of my mind.....there goes my dreams of marriage. Healthwise I'm in shambles, and I don't want to pass any of this crap I have on......so there goes my dreams of children.

I want to start over. This is not who I am suppose to be.

I'm suppose to be so much better then this.

How do I do this? How do I keep going on? Please tell me it's going to get better..

Please tell me how to fix everything. Please give me hope.

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1337091 tn?1275912473
by gmars, Jun 09, 2010
Okay, first of all your 26, you are just starting out and have a lot of life ahead of you. Instead of should haves, would haves or could haves, you have, can haves and will haves. I was 26 once and was in the same boat as you. I would have rather partied than gone to college, had a job as a manicurist and felt worthless. About the traveling part, you have your whole life to travel, get your priorities straight first. Find something that you're interested in, go to school for it and get educated. Things will fall into place but you have to follow an order first for this to happen. Get an education, then you will get a job, which will bring you money, which you save, then you can get an apartment, get out of your parents house and then save more, enough to travel. Eventually, along the way, either in jobs or just life, you will meet someone, fall in love, (hopefully won't divorce)  and be happy. It seems like your trying to rush everything at once. If you don't feel healthy, join a gym, eat better and think positively. Negative thinking, which is a hard pattern to break, will bring you down. So don't worry, things will get better, I was in a really bad depression at one point in my life. I'm going to be 50 next month and can honestly say that I am in a much happier place now than I was back then. (Only I'm not as hot) LOL so, embrace your'e youth an be happy.

1294106 tn?1361058685
by stylesC, Jun 12, 2010

I totally agree with Gmars, you are still very young and there is so much more for you to experience in your life. Everyday is a new day and the Lord will hold no part of your past against you if you truly and whole heartedly seek him. If you are looking for something that will heal you, I urge you to spend some time alone and read the word. Shut yourself out from all the noise of the world and let the holy spirit enter you, heal you and nurture you. I tell you, you will experience an indescribable joy even when you are suffering.

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