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Lost this baby too

Jun 15, 2010 - 18 comments

Beta is back down to 1 already :( Just like the last one - quick.

But at least it isn't all drawn out like the first time I lost one. The beta never wanted to come all the way down, had an emergency D and C with that one - yikes!

Oh well. Going to take time off (probably a year). Get settled into my new job (I switched high schools - this one is  a mile down the road instead of 25 mins away!), get my soccer girls into conditioning so they are ready for the spring season, start the adoption process (since it take FOREVER!), and lose some more weight and get back in shape. I need a good year or more off of all of this roller coaster crapppp.

I love you ladies - thanks for being there the last 3 years. HUGS to all and SSBd to all you girls!!! :)

Jen

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Avatar universal
by mlb1234, Jun 15, 2010
I am so sorry it did not work out this time.  It sounds like you have a good plan though.  Sometimes a break is just what we need.  You have done so many IUIs - have you thought about IVF??  You'd probably respond good to the meds if you responded decently to the IUI meds.  Maybe next year huh?  Take care of yourself.  Hugs.

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by Helen72, Jun 15, 2010
I am so sorry and devastated for you.  Sending many hugs your way.

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by scienceteacher79, Jun 15, 2010
I don't want to do IVF yet. First, it would wipe out the rest of our fertility benefits for my lifetime. Then, I would probably lose that one too. Something is wrong with the implantation phase. I don't have a problem getting preggo, just staying preggo. I doubt my doc will want to get to the root of the implantation problem so i requested my med records from the RE so I can look at my m/c panel from about 6 months ago. I want to see what he may have missed... Thanks for the encouragement.

Avatar universal
by wanabb, Jun 15, 2010
I'm so sorry, maybe some time off will help.  Can you switch doctors, maybe to one who will research your mc's?   I wish you the best of luck with adoption or further treatment.  I hope you get your baby soon.  

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by k10road, Jun 15, 2010
Jen, I am so sorry.  I know how frustrating and painful it is.  Are you doing the folgard?  If so, how much?  I definitely agree with you in that something is happening during implantation.  But what could it be?  What can be done to correct it?  I think you do have a good plan.  And yes, a break will help most likely.  Try to remain positive and don't give up.  Huge hugs your way.

Kris

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by butterflybabies, Jun 15, 2010
I am so sorry to hear your news! Nothing I can say can make you feel better, you and your dh are in my thoughts and prayers!
Love,
Lily

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by happynifer, Jun 15, 2010
sorry for your losses.
i've had 3 early losses myself so i know what you ar egoing though.
has your doctor done a saline hysterosonogram yet? it's also called a "mock transfer" for IVF.
after IUIs got me pregnant but i kept losing them, we were going on to IVF.
During this mock transfer they discovered i had 3 large fibroids that were blocking parts of my uterus and interfering with implantation.  i had a d&c to remove the fibroids, went ahead with the IVF cycle and am now 12 1/2 weeks pregnant (i never made it past 5 weeks with the others)
something to think about as polyps or fibroids can interfere with implantation and mine did not cause any symptoms or show up on the HSG....
(((hugs)))

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by feather2e, Jun 15, 2010
Sorry to hear that things didnt work out. I am sure the break will do you good. We will probably be here when you are ready to try again.

Avatar universal
by amy0013, Jun 15, 2010
I am so sorry Jen.  :(  I love your positive attitude though!  Focus your energy on that new classroom, soccer, and your beautiful daughter and hang in there girlie!!!!  :(  

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by mztova, Jun 15, 2010
Oh Jen.....So sorry to hear this news.....You know whats best for you....Take care of you...Keeping you and your DH in my thoughts and prayers....

Tova

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by GiGiGiGi, Jun 15, 2010
That is such sad news.  This has been so hard on you and i totally understand your need to take a break.  I pray that you are able to get to the bottom of the implantation problem soon.  We will be here for you when you hope back up on the ttc train!

g

Avatar universal
by mlb1234, Jun 15, 2010
I was thinking a lot about you tonight and the implantation issue.  I'm no doctor but if it is failing to implant it could also be due to the embryo and not your uterus.  IVF could possibly help if that is the issue because it separates the not-so-great from the great embies.  It is just something to consider for the future.  Not that it is easy - it is much harder than a regular stim cycle(I thought it would be cake but have been more stressed the past month than ever before!) but if it gets you where you want to be then it is worth it.  I know you said before you weren't thrilled about your Re either - maybe over the next year you could research other docs in the area.  I do think a good one makes a huge difference.  Take your time though and enjoy the next year or so.  Come back when you are ready.  

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by Dragon1973, Jun 16, 2010
Dearest Jenn,

I am so sorry.  I hate that this keeps happening to you/ all of us...  We try so hard, fertility wise and everything.  And yet, these things keep happening.  I was wondering, were you getting hCG shots for this cycle?  The reason I was asking was I wondered if the original positive was a hCG positive from the shots (if you were having them).  Forgive me, I wasn't following the whole story, I had seen bits and pieces of what's been happening to you through Kris's (K10road) responses to your journals.  I was hoping that maybe just maybe you had a false positive rather than another loss.  And I certainly don't want to minimize the loss if it was indeed a pregnancy.  I too just lost my pregnancy this last week Monday (7th) via D&C also, (after 9 1/2 weeks).  I know that if it were me, I would rather had a false positive then another loss, and which ever it is I am hoping that it wasn't the worst of the two.  Neither is good I know.  
Whatever the case, take the time that you need.  Nothing is worse then going through the roller-coaster as you mentioned.  I know first hand how the roller-coaster feels and boy it isn't good.  I think you are so wise and positive as Kris and a few others have said.  Hug your daughter close, and keep doing what you do to get through this.
I know, at some point we will get there, wherever there is.  And in the meantime, have some Jenn time.

PS - I am not sure if you saw my comment to your necklace picture.  It was such a great idea, and I thank you so much for posting where you got it from.  I went on their site immediately after reading your entry, and I ordered a footprint pendant for myself.  It was certainly the right path to healing that I was missing.

I hope that we can chat sometime in the future, when you are back.

Sincerely,
Sandi


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by scienceteacher79, Jun 16, 2010
I followed the trigger shot out, so unfortuately it is another chemical :( I am so glad I could help you begin to heal with the necklace. I guess I have to get another one now...I am just so tired of it all. Hugs to all of you - Jen

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by usuk, Jun 16, 2010
sending you prayers. i'm at work but i will type you a longer note later. xoxoxo

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by lori0615, Jun 16, 2010
My heart goes out to you, you will be in my prayers.

Avatar universal
by geniusiq, Jun 16, 2010
doctors science symposium on iodine deficiencies.2007.....type in   iodine-solution to health problems............low iodine can cause miscarraiges...........also cretenism and mental retardation in offspring of iodine deficient mothers......flouride and chlorine push iodine out of our bodies.......both are everywhere we turn..........even in our drinking water......the doctors of that symposium think we need much more iodine than is currently reccommended......because our bodies are being robbed of it on a daily basis........perhaps you need to do an iodine load.......?     worth checking out.....what can you lose by enlightening yourself?..........

Avatar universal
by lost1124, Nov 25, 2010
I'm new to this site I have been home crying my eyes out. My only one embryo transfer didn't implant. The sad part is I can't afford another cycle and the man just deserted me when I was one week to egg retrieval, I had to go to sperm bank. I have nobody to talk too. The only person I would have talked to about this was my mother but she is gone. I used all my savings, am in a foreign land nobody to talk to, the only person I have in my life is God. I'm trying to stay positive but it is so hard.


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