Aug 06, 2008
Well - I had a bad morning so far today and can not wrap my head around what is wrong with this body of mine since my "normal" blood is always normal. Today I am getting numbness / tingles in the outer fingers (ring & pinky) in both hands that travels up the outer / side arm (and under) and on my left arm, stops at the elbow. On my right, it goes to the shoulder. It feels like something crawling at times, I don't understand it. My chest is kind of tight, my right neck muscles are pulling a little and every once in a while, after I blink, I see spots or floating black spots. Cannot bend over without my brain feeling like it might just come out of my ears. Numbness and tingles are still in my lip and face area, but I must admit, I have not taken the calcium this week (I had been waiting for the blood draw, but then forgot to start again).
Last night, I got a severe headache, muscle tension in the neck and a shooting pain in the LEFT side, back of neck. I have to admit, I was almost thankful for a moment that it was the left and not the right. I went to bed with the tight chest feeling and wanted to take the xanax prescribed by the ENT, and I very well may have, I don't know. This is the bit of what I remember about the xanax..... I know I got it out of the bottle, then went into my living room, all the while, I was being followed by a whining 3 year old who was mad that her brother got to go with Daddy. So, she asked me a question, I sat down to look her in the eye at the computer, put the pill down near the mouse. She finished her jabber, I turned to the computer, got on here to check on a friend, got of the computer, went to turn down the TV b/c my brain was hurting; noticed the dog did not have food, so forgot about the TV, gave the dog her food, went to the living room to get my drink (AND THIS IS WHERE I AM HOPING I JUST TOOK THE PILL, BUT CANNOT REMEMBER THAT AFTER REMEMBERING ALL THE OTHER NONSENSE). Then proceeded to take my brother his mail (he lives across the street) and that is all I can remember. It reminds me of someone's recent post, but I can't remember who. (WHOEVER IT WAS, THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT SO I KNOW I AM NOT A LUNE). I checked everywhere and did not find the pill, and even vacuumed my floors (including the kitchen) to make sure if I did drop it, it could not hurt anyone. I assume I took it.
Anyway, I don't ever remember feeling anxious before this stuff started in April, ever. Not even when my dad and grandparents died, not after finding my boss dead, nothing. Now, on and off, and recently more on than off, I feel I guess what anxiety is and I don't like it. I guess I am having a pitty me day.