I don't know why I'm so disappointed that I started my period right on time. I just FELT different this month. I was beginning to think maybe - just maybe - I deserved a miracle at this point. But I guess not. I can't keep doing this to myself every month. Even though we're not "trying" to get pregnant, every month, in the back of my mind, I hope. I'm so tired of disappointment and heartbreak. I cried myself to sleep last night. I miss my angel...more than another baby, I just want HIM back. God, I miss him so much my heart aches. He'd be one year old in two weeks. What would life be like if he was still here?