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My Overdose - Dealing with Some (Girly?) Feelings Today

Jul 15, 2010 - 3 comments

Having kind of a bad evening - not as bad as I'm sure I COULD have, but not the best anyway.

I'm involved with someone that, I sometimes get the feeling doesn't feel the same way about me that I do about him - and right now is one of those times.  Most of the time, I really enjoy the relationship b/c we don't live together, and I have plenty of "me" time (I'm so independent, that sometimes, it can be a problem).  Today is one of those days I don't want to be by myself (I think - trying to figure that out), and it just feels like he could care less - he could have seen me last night, but I was busy, and now, today, vice versa - I'm probably over-reacting, or am tired, or hormonal or something, and am trying hard to figure out what exactly it is that is bothering me, before I go off on him (which, yes, I've done, for absolutely no reason, I realize later)...it ***** being a girl!!!

Blah, blah, blah - I cooked myself some dinner (I'm an EXCELLENT cook) and am watching TV, trying to chill out.  I do counted cross stitch projects, and have one that needs attention, so I will try to pick it up.  I think I am tired - it was 100 degrees today - supposed to be that way through Saturday...and work has been pulling me in 4 directions at once - maybe I am tired.

I'm really glad I'm sober to try to deal with my (girly) feelings - only 6 weeks ago, I didn't want to spend time with him b/c he was interrupting my time with my drugs...and I fully acknowledge this now, and the drugs (almost) won - actually things have been really good between my guy and I since the incident (yes, he knows about the overdose).  It's got to be me (mostly).

I have 41 days clean - I have no intention of going back to how I was before - I've found that the good days are GREAT, and the not so good days - they PASS - so I'm learning to enjoy the good days better and more than before.  Nothing is worth going back to how I was before.  NOTHING.

Men are interesting creatures - we women can't live without you, and we can't kill you!!!  LOLOLOL



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1303537 tn?1317800741
by wishful1, Jul 15, 2010
i know how you feel, im kinda dating this guy and i feel like its not going the way it should like he isnt taking it as serious at all. I would rather just be single and wait for that person that i fall head over heels for. I am on day 62 clean, so we are still in a very fragile state and i think thats why we like to be alone right now, its like i am not ready to give myself to anyone in a relationship right now....i hope u feel better and good job on day 41. How long were u using and what were u using?

1029192 tn?1292981918
by missmetal, Jul 16, 2010
Hey there - I was taking A LOT of Norco for about 2 1/2 years, which finally culminated in an overdose on June 4 (liquid morphine/Ativan) - I have to run (work), but wanted to say kudos on your 62 days (63 today, right)? I will write more later - how old are you, and where do you live?

Have a good day - and stay strong!

Karen  :-)

1303537 tn?1317800741
by wishful1, Jul 27, 2010
Hey sorry it took me so long to respond! I am 22 years old and im from california! hope to hear from you soon!

Betsy

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