Jul 18, 2010
Welp, I've made it to the 48 hour mark, so I know I've got another day or 2 of the ickies, and then hopefully its only going to get better from there. It hasn't been as bad as I worried it would be. I was so scared to do this again, so scared that I wouldn't be able to function or get out of bed, but I've done it. I've done it for TWO DAYS! It sounds so measly when people have years of being clean, but I guess when you think about it, everyone started out at one day.
People have told me since I was a young kid that I'm stubborn as hell. I've also loved hearing that, it made me smile. I'm going to use that to my advantage. I AM stubborn as hell, and I'm going to beat this once and for all! I want to do it, I can do it, I WILL do it! I just have to keep telling myself that. I just keep on digging back in that memory of mine and remembering how great I felt the last time I did this..I want to know that feeling again.
I want to remember every.single.day from now on! I don't want to look back and wonder what I spent my whole life doing, I want to remember it, to be able to feel it all over again, whenever I get the notion!