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Safe but unsure

Jul 27, 2010 - 7 comments


















So yesterday we had our 12 week appointment with the doctor. It was our first time meeting the doctor and he was very nice. We did a Pap and they checked my blood pressure. He said everything looked normal and that the babies are doing great so far. I asked if I would get an u/s and he said that we could because it had been two weeks since the last one. He said I would be full term at 36 weeks and my new due date is January 9th. I am also a candidate for pre-term labor so they want to monitor me very closey. Other than that, everything was positive news. The u/s was very brief and she just measured my cervix and said we were done. I asked if she could take measurements and let us listen to the heartbeat which she didnt seem thrilled about but did it anyways. The heartbeats looked great, they were both in the 165 range. The measurements were 5.9 cm and 5.1 cm. I just cannot believe how fast these little guys/girls are growing. When you girls see the pics you will prolly be shocked just like I was!

When I got pregnant we decided that we will keep our pregnancy a secret atleast until the 12 week point. Now that we are here he is feeling a little unsure about telling people just yet. I'm ready to share the news with the world (FINALLY) and he is wanting to now wait a few more weeks. I understand that he is scared that something might happen but he needs to be able to take a chance and trust in God that things will be okay. The doctor even told us that we are out of the m/c window and the chance of something happening at this point is very slim. With my track record, that was reassuring of him to tell us that. So do I wait until after my next u/s at 14 weeks to tell people like he wants or do I say screw it and tell everyone on my own? I'm so unsure right now. I have no idea what I should do. It just makes me sad that he doesnt want to share this news with our friends and family yet. I swear if it's not one thing it's another.....

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by earthangle, Jul 27, 2010
I knw how excited you are but I would wait its only 2 more weeks.

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by SunWorshiper_26, Jul 27, 2010
I would try talking to him about it. I'm sure he is really scared. He is so attached and so in love with these babies and he is just trying to protect himself from getting hurt. Maybe ask if this week you can share with very close friends and family. Like your parents and best friends, siblings. Maybe next week grandparents and the week after sky writing and shouting it from rooftops. At this point there is a valid argument to say both of your parents should at least know G-d forbid something happened at least they could be there for you (not that anything is going to happen however it might help reassure him). I think this is something that you need to agree on together as a team. You both need to be comfortable with it. I'm sure a little heart to heart this evening or whenever you are both off of work will help you guys reach a good compromise. If you need anything or just want to talk you know how to reach me and you are welcome to any time! Xoxo. Keep me posted :) and congrats again on a great u/s you must be beyond excited!!

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by lil_lady25, Jul 27, 2010
Thank you for the advice ladies. I have decided to sit him down tonight and have a one-on-one with him and see what his reservations are. We havent talked much about revealing the good news but he did casually mention that he wanted to wait till after our next u/s to share the excitement with the world. I think your suggestions are perfect - telling him we can tell close family this week and then extent out throughout the next few weeks. I'm sure he is scared, but so am I. Every time I go to the OB I feel like I hold my breath until I see those beautiful flickering heartbeats. I will let you know how it goes. Hey - pretty soon your gonna be 12 weeks!!! Woo Hoo for us making it to the 2nd trimester. Hopefully it will be happy sailing from here on out for all of us :)

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by ConnieG, Jul 27, 2010
That sounds like such great news!!
YAY :)
(I know you already made a decision, but I understand both sides.  If you talk and he still wants to wait, it's only two weeks and it will cause less stress if you force someone to do something that makes them uncomfortable, especially something as small as waiting a couple weeks.  But I can't wait till you both feel comfortable to shout it from the rooftops!!!!!!!)

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by SunWorshiper_26, Jul 27, 2010
I completely understand, I also am so afraid before each ultrasound appt even though I am nearly 12 weeks. My OB reassured us the risk of m/c at this point is less than one percent. But with the devastation that we both have faced in the past, I think it's more normal to be afraid than to not be afraid. Hopefully you and hubby have a wonderful talk tonight and he will agree close friends this week and sky writing in two weeks ;). Sending big hugs to you and your beautiful little ones who are growing like weeds :)

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by llayton2010, Jul 27, 2010
Silly can you physically hide it much longer?  Looks like those babies are BIG!  :)

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by natashajay, Aug 10, 2010
wow looking good, on the should we tell side, its really up to you i had a m/mc at 16 weeks where a scan showed no fetal heartbeat, we told everyone by then and it was almost a relief that they knew so i didn't feel so alone,
im sure you won't get that these two are superb! and getting so big....i thought twins were supposed to be small, you are in for soooooo much work LOL
but seriously its really up to you but i agree with llayton2010 you aren't gonna be able to keep this a secret much longer!

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