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i know i lied

Aug 13, 2008 - 7 comments

if you where looking for the rest of the story here it is. while on probation i became very addicted to benzodiazepines, for the stress and aniexty i was going through,ex..my brother,being locked up and generally being disgusted w/ myself. Meth killed my self esteem, my confidence,my innocence,and me.After probation i got prescribed lexapro and clonazepam for my disorder's(which i never had untill i got addicted to meth, abused it for about a year, one bad as*  weekend warrior i was) shorty after feeling better i met my future wife. we started partying w/ methadone, benzo's. life was good i thought everything was finally working out for me. Then after a about 8 months she got pregers w/ twins.(your probably thinking wow you got lucky, well not so) i'll write some more later, believe me its a twisting story.

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541953 tn?1262589826
by scaredmom330, Aug 13, 2008
well let me start by saying, cute baby...cant wait for the rest of the story for my comments.. welcome to our community..you will met lots of wonderful people that will help you...stay in touch and finishing the story...


Karen

563594 tn?1309586732
by Mandapanda17, Aug 13, 2008
how are you feeling today? some story...well its your life not a story.. thats the hard part I'm sure. hope you're feeling ok today! :)

460185 tn?1326081372
by lonewolf07, Aug 13, 2008
We all lie at times.  Takes a lot of courage to admit it.

Hugs




Avatar universal
by burningup, Aug 13, 2008
i didn't mean lie in the sence that i did, sorry about the confusion i meant by the first journal entry, i said i write some more the next day but i didn't. lonewolf07 i totally agree w/ you on that statement, its something we all need to remind are self's sometimes.Mandapanda17 i'm feeling ok, i went to work,everything is still going as planned. its day 2 clean and sober from benzo's, i took a few vicodine for the pain,ex..muscle cramps,sleep(don't worry opiates arn't very apleeling to me, they were a 1 pt in my life, not anymore they just take away pain like there supposed too) i'm proud of myself, its really been awhile since i said that to myself,how are you doing? ok i hope your really cool!

563594 tn?1309586732
by Mandapanda17, Aug 13, 2008
hey, I'm doing ok :) I'm still on pills...so thats probably why I'm still okay. lol, I'll let you know how I feel on august 24th...probably not too good. Hopefully I'll still feel well enough to come on here the first few days. who knows, I know a big part of it with me is mental, if I'm in the right place mentally it'll be easier for me. Glad you're feeling ok, I was worried, you know you always hear about seizures and stuff coming off benzos. were you able to sleep? I'm sure the vicodin may have helped you with that. God, don't take too many of those either. effin vicodin... thanks, by the way you're really cool too :) ttys!!

460185 tn?1326081372
by lonewolf07, Aug 13, 2008
If I was any cooler, I'd be frozen  = P

But what do I know - I lie  lol

Good for you burningup - every clean minute is a good minute.  Sometimes that's all we can do is go from one moment to the next.




Avatar universal
by burningup, Aug 14, 2008
thanks lonewolf07, that is very true, @ least to my knowledge i think the worst is over, i feel good and sober(which i havn't felt for a long time) and the best part is, i chose this, not the state! lol. and thank you mandapanda17 , your support and just talking has helped me out tremendously, all your guys support really counted, considering your the only support network i have. mandpanda17 don't worry about august 24th i promise its worth it in the end. The pain dose go away, and the mental thing, its in your head, you can do anything you set your mind to..even this and its so worth it, for once i can truly say i feel good and not be all fu****- up in the mist. good luck

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