Aug 06, 2010
I'm wondering when I'm going to find the right guy for me. I'm wondering where I'm going to meet or if I ever will find him. I wonder if I'm not ready to meet him yet. Am I too young to be thinking about this? I'm twenty years old and I want to have a future husband and kids and a great family. Of course I'm talking about 10 years into the future, but I want to find him. Do I have too much on my list of traits that I want in a guy? Am I too demanding? Am I hanging around the wrong crowd? Wait, that's not a question...I don't really have a crowd. I really don't think I'll find Mr. Right in my circle of friends..I feel like if I'm ever going to meet him it's going to be when I go away to a university. This is where there is so much pressure. I feel like I have to figure out what I want to do and transfer so that I don't have to be stuck at the same community college forever. I'm sick of living at home and I want to be on my own. I have to find a job and save money and move away somewhere, find another job, find a place to live, and somewhere to continue school. I wish there was someone to tell me where to go and what to do because I clearly have no idea. I'm going to school because that's what I'm supposed to do. I still haven't figured out what I really want to do. I'm just taking classes because I have to. I see interesting people in my classes, but I never have the guts to approach them. I wish I would just try, but I just can't get myself to do it. It's just me sitting there the whole class hour thinking about what to say and when should I say it and how I should say it or if I should even say anything at all. All of these thoughts go through my head before class is already over and then it's too late to say anything. There's no harm in trying and I just need to get that anxiousness and anticipation out of my head. I want to go back to the psychologist when fall semester starts, I'm embarrassed for some reason. I know she would help me a lot, but for some reason I feel like I'm using her and I feel guilty. I wish I could just talk to my friends about these problems.