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My first day of HIV!

Aug 07, 2010 - 33 comments

I took my blood test last Saturday & it came back negative BUT that night I felt funny & sods law I was out on a date with a lovely lady but as I went to use the loo I noticed a huge rash on my chest & a few spots & all of a sudden I felt this dread come over me & for a few minutes my body temperature went through the roof, I just took it as heat rash & cooled down by the time I got home, the coming Monday I took the day off work as i felt so emotional & I wasn't feeling a 100% I went to the health clinic & the doctor said it looked more like an alagiec reaction & he told me not to worry about it. Though during the last two weeks I've been feeling strange, like I'm going to vomit, headaches, soar throte a little phlegmy cough but no fever or should I say I had a fever and I kind of forced it to stop within a day. Who ever says that the flu like symptoms stop you from doing anything, they are lying! I think I felt the anxiety first. Yesterday I went to the health clinic for some counselling & the counsellor said it was all in my head and most of it's anxiety and I'll need cbt. Today I noticed more spots and the rash has gotten bigger. I have excepted my fate but I won't do anything stupid! I'll live my life as to the best I can.

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Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 09, 2010
It's three o'clock in the morning, I'm convinced if I go to sleep I'll wake up with the flu. I think i was right in thinking I have HIV. I feel like it's not fair & why does it have to be me! I guess everything does happen for a reason as my ex-wife used to say. A few hours ago I had to rush to the loo and I was diarrhetic, though I've gotten back into bed, I keep hearing my tummy rumbling & I keep sweating every time I close my eyes, it feels like the virus is waiting to catch me off guard. Though my throat isn't soar and I don't have a cold, nor do I have a fever for me diarrhoea was the first sign of the flu. I'm really upset that I have to go through this, i almost feel like this is the end of my life!

1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 10, 2010
when did you test negative ? How many days after exposure?

Avatar universal
by Vance2335, Aug 10, 2010
Naveea it is time to seek professional mental help. You have negative tests, you have everyone on this forum telling you that you had no risk, you have Dr's and counsellor telling you not to worry. Don't you see a pattern that this is not HIV but actually just in your head? You can think whatever you want but have a choice, live a life of fear that you have HIV (when clearly you don't) or seek a therapist to help you.

This has gotten to the point that it is beyond anxiety and turned into a serious mental health condition.

186166 tn?1385262982
by LIZZIE LOU, Aug 10, 2010
"my first day of hiv"

what the hell does that mean?  you dont have hiv...geeeeeeeeeez

Avatar universal
by Teak, Aug 10, 2010
* Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusively negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to action by MedHelp. Conclusively negative results or a no-risk situation will be based upon the criteria established by MedHelp’s doctors. Action will be taken as follows:
* After excessive posting, a warning will be issued by MedHelp
* Continuing to post regarding the negative result / no risk situation will result in a 3 day suspension
* Continuing to post upon your return will result in a permanent ban.


1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 10, 2010
Hey  Vance2335

I was just asking him when he tested whether he tested after 12 weeks.. and am really trying to move on,....



Avatar universal
by Vance2335, Aug 10, 2010
Invictus2010...stop writing this stuff and on your profile you said you have HIV. This is very disrespectful to those who do have HIV. You had a condom break eposide and have not tested positive yet. Test at 3 months as you have been advised and until then live your life as normal but stop with this stuff saying you have HIV.

Naveea: My apologises I thought this was your journal.

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 10, 2010
I mean no disrespect, I really don't. I think the first test was pointless as it was far to early & yes maybe it's the anxiety but I've got a feeling that I have it, just this morning I got a rash around my eye & I've become so pail, also I've lost a stone in 4 weeks! I really hope it's the anxiety, I've never been so scared in all my life. I'm a 28 year old man & I can't stop crying, this is not like me!

1366547 tn?1287367550
by avonelle38, Aug 10, 2010
We know you are scared and worried, but until you've tested POSITIVE for HIV and it has been confirmed by a Western blot test, stop saying you are living with HIV. The chances of this happening are very slim from this one-time exposure. I know how scared you are, but you've got to get a grip on yourself and come to terms with the fact that you had a VERY small chance, and until you conclusively test positive for it, you've got to calm down and live your life the best you can. Please try to relax and stay off the internet until you can test at 3 months.

I saw that you posted on another person's thread and said something along the line of "you are lucky! I did the same thing but I got HIV!" YOU DO NOT KNOW THAT YOU HAVE HIV. Stop saying you have it. It is disrespectful, as Vance has said. Please relax and test when you reach the 3 month mark and then we can go from there.

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 10, 2010
Again, I'm very sorry & I really didn't mean any disrespect, I just feel so freaked out & I'm only trying to accept my fate, not that there's any thing wrong in having HIV, it's not like I can't live my life still. I'm just very upset that the whole thing happened & I feel so ashamed for doing what I did! What I'm really worried about is that I have to live the rest of my life alone, without a partner in life. Something someone might be able to help with, I have a singular raised bump on my shoulder blade, it's got 2/3 red spots in it that you can't feel, it's also very smooth whould this be the rash? Or a bug bite? It itchd for a bit and then it stopped And I have 8 non raised black dots around my eye brow, again is this the rash?

Everybody please accept my forgiveness.

1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 11, 2010
Dude

Just go through my profile, see all my symptoms(to which your symptoms are meagre) and then i tested negative..Hope this will make you feel better

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 11, 2010
I think I have HIV, I just called up for my results and they told me to come in! I guess I was right.

1331558 tn?1317691287
by Aelly, Aug 11, 2010
You dont! relax!

1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 11, 2010
Just go and get your results...and tell us its negative

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 11, 2010
Last time I called up they told me It was negative! Now they can't tell me & they told me what it is.

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 11, 2010
Sorry the last bit didn't make any sence.

1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 11, 2010
Yes it doesnt make sense... Well go to the lab and get your results....

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 11, 2010
I know I shouldn't keep posting but one thing I'm concerned about is over the last few weeks I was feeling bad like I stated in my first journal entry but since this afternoon all of it's gone, I'm still worried but I don't feel, like I did. What gets me is, was this zero convergence? I guess each person is different and the virus effects people differently.

1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 11, 2010
Ok... listen to me... how long has been since your exposure ?

1331558 tn?1317691287
by Aelly, Aug 11, 2010
Are you negative? You're in the UK so a DUO test would have merited the fact you did not get HIV. In 4 weeks it would be conclusive.

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 11, 2010
Thank you so much guys the test came back negative, god I can't stop crying! Though I do know I have to see a psychiatrist because of all the issues I have from before the scare & during. I will say I'm sorry for any disrespect I've caused but I will try my best to help in anyway I can towards the HIV community. Aelly, naveea, you guys have been great thank you for the support! I know I still need to get tested in 8 weeks but I feel slightly better, almost like the weight has been liftted off my shoulders! Thank you again

Avatar universal
by JAH1972, Aug 11, 2010
I'm very pleased for you Invictus ... I read your worries earlier ... I think everything people said to you was right, and yeah maybe you need to speak to to someone other than the GU clinic ... Just had a routine check myself and was so pleased to her the word negative on all counts ... Enjoy

1331558 tn?1317691287
by Aelly, Aug 11, 2010
Good job man! You see, this further proves you don't have it.

1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 12, 2010
Congrats buddy,,,.

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 12, 2010
I started getting muscle pain around my shoulder and neck, what does this mean???

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 13, 2010
Ok, I'm kinda freaking out now! I've had a shoulder and neck pain for the last two days & now I've got a pain in my left leg & the left side of my back, I really hope this is anxiety! I'm so worried now, should I get another test?

1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 13, 2010
Dude

I far worst symptoms now than you and i tested negative @ 12 weeks

I have fever,sore throat,sore chest,painful lymph nodes as i type now... imagine my plight

All i can hope is am not a delayed serconvertor... so you need to relax

Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 13, 2010
Well that's what I'm thinking but that's the only pain that I'm getting, nothing else other than the pain from where I said but the pain near my neck is gone another thing I noticed was I got the dates mixed up with the test, I got the test done on the 25th day! Not the 28th..

1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 13, 2010
3 days will not make a ny difference ...Anyways you will have to test  @ 12 weeks,,,,,,take a 6 weeks test if you cant wait that long,..

You are in UK,You have a NHS which is a very good health care system,..So just relax.....


186166 tn?1385262982
by LIZZIE LOU, Aug 13, 2010
you two are doing nothing but feeding off each other's anxiety.  naveea...why in the world would you tell someone who is suffering from hiv anxiety that you hope you're not a late seroconverter?  if you choose not to believe your test results...DONT take others down with you...seek professional mental help.

Anxiety Disorders

Difficulty concentrating
Dizziness or lightheadedness
Dry mouth
Easy fatigability
Exaggerated startle response
Feeling anxious or on edge
Flushes or chills
Frequent urination
Irritability
Muscle tension, aches, or soreness
Nausea, diarrhea, or other abdominal distress
Palpitations or accelerated heart rate
Restlessness
Shortness of breath or smothering sensations
Skin rashes
Sweating or cold, clammy hands
Trembling, twitching, or feeling shaky
Trouble falling or staying asleep
Trouble swallowing or "lump in the throat

When worried over HIV please consider this may be what you are dealing with.



Avatar universal
by Invictus2010, Aug 13, 2010
Thank you lizzie, Some stuff about the anxiety makes sense and do have a few of those symptoms. I guess I figured you wrong! Naveea I think I'll take the test in the next two weeks. I just hope it's not seroconvergence but than again how can I have pains for three days and nothing else!?

Avatar universal
by Vance2335, Aug 13, 2010
ANXIETY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your pains have nothing to do with HIV.

1183190 tn?1326112534
by naveea, Aug 13, 2010
Sorry Lizzie,..... i was just sharing my sypmtoms with him..... Nothing More....

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