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Just don't know

Aug 21, 2010 - 2 comments

Sometimes I am just afraid I just can't do it all anymore. Sometimes I just want to give up. Right now my kids are the only thing keeping me going. I'm afraid I'm gonna lose my job cause I'm just not fast enough. I get bitched at for being too slow and getting out late even if I get everything done. But if I don't get everything done so I can get out on time, then I get bitched out for not getting everything done. I just don't know what to do anymore. My paycheck isn't paying much of the bills and Mike still hasn't found a job. Unemployment is giving him the run around and so is all the places he's applied for. He's such a hard worker. Why won't anyone hire him? And Chris' birthday is Monday. I want him here with me. I want my baby goddammit! I miss him so much. My life is not complete without him! Well, I will write more later. I'm on lunch at work and I don't need to start crying in the break room...

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1489607 tn?1288276081
by MissVera, Oct 28, 2010
I happened upon this entry by... hell if know. I saw something about whiskey, shook my head (probably only because i CANT drink on the medications I'm taking.

Point being. From this one entry alone, we seem to be in at least an 80% similar situation. I cant tell you it'll get better because i just don't know. Sometimes i think it'd be better for myself, and everyone involved in my life if i just faded away. I wonder just how much more i can take.

I had a woman on a sexual abuse hotline tell me something i'll never forget though. And it has it's way of worming its way into my thoughts at just the right times. Generally speaking its probably bad advice, but it reminds you that you have choices. That you can move your life where you want it to go. Or interpret it as you choose.

"There is no expiration date on suicide. Yes you feel the way you do now and thats hard to change, but you can always sit on it. And if a month from now if you feel the need. So be it."

Good luck.

1490408 tn?1288332520
by sickyb, Oct 29, 2010
i can t  say i am in the exact same situation  , but i am sort of in  a situation where i feel like i have so much to do and im  trying and trying and i dont seem to be making any headway and i feel like just giving up.  i dont know if this will help  but sometimes it dawns on me that  at least i have the courage enough to still care, care about people, care about  my quality of life when so many people just dont  cause carings hard and i feel  a little strength and i use that  strength to help me hold on until  things turned around and eventually,  bit by bit , it is.....

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