Aug 22, 2010
I was a very out going person even thou i was in a wheelchair i could cook ,clean house . I could do anything you could do just a diffrent way .I got married had a kid in wheelchair was a very happy person and was in Love with my husband i loved my life until i hurt my back and had surgery oh boy then things went bad wrong i started having the most awful pain everyday ,when i go to the store i never know how long i have in the store because of the pain . I never know when i can go somewhere i can't make plans due to i just never know most of the time i do know i can't go know where but bed what a place to be . I get to where i hate the bed it post to be a place u go to sleep at night but its a place i live . My husband thinks i don't love him but he is so wrong i love him .I can make him understand its not him the reason i push him away its because the pain so bad. He started drinking like 5 years ago due to me pushing him away which makes me feel like its my fault .I do make love to him once in a while but grit my teeth because it hurts me so bad . My pain tell me what to do it control me it tells me when to get up and when to go to bed and when to eat because sometimes i am hurting and can't eat . I have a daughter 21 half of her life i couldn't be the mother i wanted to be. I love my family and i know they just don't know how bad the pain is . I take strong pain meds 80 mg oxycontin 2 a day which i hate them because they make me sleepy and make me feel like crap . I will write more later gotta go because of guess what PAIN !!!!!!! Please pray for me and my family.