Aug 23, 2010
Ever since I got the results back that the baby does not have my genetic disorder I just can't begin to be excited. It is like I have been walking on pins and needles for so long my mind won't let me relax. I love my baby and I am happy but I just can't help but feel like its not over until I have a healthy screaming baby in my arms. My innocence was lost when Hunter passed on. I now know that nothing in life is guarunteed. The only people I personally have told that I was pregnant was my mom, cousin, and my 2 nieces. Everyone else has learned through word of mouth and no one has called to say congrats or anything. Totally understandable that no one knows what to say to me. I really have no clue who knows and who doesn't. I have not told any of my friends and since we live out of state none of them know the difference. My niece came to visit last week and we ended up taking a belly pic of me. She posted it on facebook and I promptly called her and asked her to take it down. I stated that I had not told any of my friends or anything. I don't think she understood but she took it down. With Hunter I sent a pic of my daughter with an 'I'm gonna be a big sister shirt on', out in all of our Christmas cards. I know that I will never do that again. I just can not relax and if I try to talk to anyone about it they don't or can't understand. I just hope that everything will be ok even if I feel like this throughout the next half of my pregnancy.