Sep 10, 2010
So next month it will be a year since my health issues started, I have fought away so many emotions it's unreal I've appeared to be strong all the times but showed episodes of real depression behind closed doors, I wonder to myself why me?! Why do I have to face bad news after bad news, am I the type of person I never wanted to be as in falling into the trap of allowing things to get to me that much?! I am sorry to say but I think I have, the daily pain is wearing me out and is a constant reminder of what my life has become, I never wanted to take daily medication but looks like I may have to to keep this pain at bay, I never wanted to seek medical intervention about my moods but I can't see a way out at the moment, can't remember the last time I laughed for a real reason or had one day without thinking about what my life is not. 29 years old and I always thought i'ld have kids and be married by now, that alone upsets me and it's not from the want of trying. Every one keeps saying positive mental attitude and I try I really do but that's becoming harder and harder to do. Everyone around me says oh you'll be fine stop getting so stressed ... This makes me worse I wish for one minuite they were in my shoes or could understand me. I wish they would notice me, I wish they would take a minuite out of their life to hear me.