Hitting a crossroads

Sep 10, 2010 - 5 comments

So next month it will be a year since my health issues started, I have fought away so many emotions it's unreal I've appeared to be strong all the times but showed episodes of real depression behind closed doors, I wonder to myself why me?! Why do I have to face bad news after bad news, am I the type of person I never wanted to be as in falling into the trap of allowing things to get to me that much?! I am sorry to say but I think I have, the daily pain is wearing me out and is a constant reminder of what my life has become, I never wanted to take daily medication but looks like I may have to to keep this pain at bay, I never wanted to seek medical intervention about my moods but I can't see a way out at the moment, can't remember the last time I laughed for a real reason or had one day without thinking about what my life is not. 29 years old and I always thought i'ld have kids and be married by now, that alone upsets me and it's not from the want of trying. Every one keeps saying positive mental attitude and I try I really do but that's becoming harder and harder to do. Everyone around me says oh you'll be fine stop getting so stressed ... This makes me worse I wish for one minuite they were in my shoes or could understand me. I wish they would notice me, I wish they would take a minuite out of their life to hear me.

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Oh honey

I hear you and believe you and am here via this site to support you, take time out and rethink, then come back fighting, this is your life and dont let anyone fob you off!!

Research,research,research and when you get your fight back, look outside your area for help, try manchester,liverpool, anywhere just dont give up love.

Im here for you

Hugs niki x x

Hi....I have to agree with Niki....don't give up and know ur MedHelp family is here for u...vent and get it all out.....but keep pushing for answers.

Go to drs to cover all ur bases....make sure ur thyroid is ok...ur hormones where they should be.....

The depression is from chiari....I actually can deal with it better knowing it is related...and not just me....if u know what I mean.

We can not expect those that don't have this to understand what we go thru...there just is no way...we can hope, they will at least try .....

Some r afraid to deal with things they don't understand.....or deal with nething not on the happier side.....it makes people uncomfortable, so for many it is easier to ignore it....and walk away...it is not that they do not care for u, they just do not know how to plunge into such a heavy topic....

Know if we all could we would hold ur hand and say I am here.....
<3
"selma"

I have only recently become a member and I just want to tell you , the best part is you will learn (YOU ARE NOT ALONE) you can't let this get you down! I have been suffering with chronic pain for 15 plus years.the illness can get worse but life can get better! I read some stories on this site and feel lucky. alot of people are worse off than me. at first I just sat around feeling sorry for myself, but when I started getting out and spending time with family and freinds, things started getting alot better.STAY POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!! you are still very young take advantage of that.get out there and have some fun!!!!!!don't waste your time dwelling on things you can't change. think about what you CAN change!!! I know you can do it,I have. maddmark

Thanks so much everyone, i really appreciate the kind words i really do. The support you get from this place is invaluable.

Your all right, i've always been a strong person, trust me, i've had to deal with so much crap in my life and i've done it, i've dealt with it and moved on [ eventually ] i do feel so lucky that i'm not alot worse.

I've started swimming once a week, and have booked up lots of 'treats' for the rest of the year, spa days, concerts, etc to keep me having something to look forward to, that's helping.

It's a case of falling down a whole, And having to dig your way back up to the top isn't it, it's do-able but may take time..

About positive thinking, that's easy to do when you've accepted what you are or what you have become, you see, i have always been the type of person that is so driven, must get a career, must earn more money, must do this and that to keep social etc - - when that's 'interrupted' it's about learning to accept things, currently i am learning to accept, the death of my aunty last year [ who i lived with when i was young ] the cancelling of my wedding plans 2 years ago due to my Fiance being made redundant, not getting pregnant despite being off contraception for 2 years ......... this has what's happened i think, im at a cross roads where i NEED to accept EVERYTHING now before i sink deeper and deeper ......
x
x

In 2002 I was admitted to hospital (Yet again) for detox from alcohol. The difference this time was I had lost everything & wanted out, life was stagnant. I spent a few weeks in hospital and moved on to an addiction treatment Center. After undergoing treatment I was sent on my merry way. With the support of family & friends I got back on my feet. Accepting my situation, accepting who I was helped me to find the right road. I learned not to look back, I learned to recognize the pitfalls and avoided them. I learned to take each day as I found it.
This has helped me deal with my DX of Chiari & Syringomyelia and the problems it has caused and continues to cause. I had to quit my job because of my health issues, I had to stop driving and at times I find it hard to leave the house because my balance gets out of hand.
Anyway you get the drift.....Dont give up on your plans, dont let your illness define you. KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ACCEPTANCE & SURRENDER Acceptance means you can move on, surrender means your illness rules you......

Ray



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