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I am coming back to life as I used to know it--Thank God

Sep 16, 2010 - 3 comments

After being on opiates for 7 years, I am slowly coming back to life.  When I used to look out the window, it didn't matter whether it was sunny, rainy or snowy.  Now I see the sun, and I am greatful to feel it on my face.  I used to take my health for granted.  After going through withdrawals, I'll never again complain about a mild ache or pain.  I used to feel so overwhelmed, and pushed myself to do multiple things throughout the day.  Now I am happy if I am able to do a few things, knowing there is more to life than work.  Raising my son on my own, I used to ask God how can I do this alone.  Now I am so happy when he comes home, knowing he is a gift that was given to me, a gift to be cherished.  I wondered the last 7 years what was happening to my mind, as time went on, I no longer felt any emotion.  Now when I see something to cheer for, I get excited.  When I see something sad, I have empathy.  No, I have come to realize I wasn't a bad person on opiates, just a different person.  I became someone I didn't even know, and didn't realize it was the opiates doing it to me.  This withdrawal has been difficult, but I am greatful I woke up in time.  I have a lifetime to do things with a fresh new perspective on life.  Although both my husband and ex-husband passed away last year, and life at times has not been easy (nor is it for anyone) I am trusting God that He brought me this far, He will carry me every day and make me a stronger person for it.  God bless and strengthen all of us.  

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by PariahsEmpathy, Sep 16, 2010
Beautiful my dear friend!  

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by laurel453, Sep 16, 2010
It is indeed beautiful, Fay :)

I remember that soon after detoxing i went for a walk and while i was sitting in front of the ocean and thinking how beautiful the world was, i started crying, those tears were tears of happiness !! Opiates numb our emotions , our feelings and when start waking up from their nightmare , Life is like a sort of miracle again !! I am so happy for you that you are having those moments back to you :) I really hope they will soon  make you happy for  days, weeks, months and years ...keep on fighting as you are doing, my friend :)

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by NoMore81410, Sep 16, 2010
I could not have said this any better hon! God gets the glory and we get our lives back! Yesterday I was going on my daily walk at lunch and this butterfly followed me the entire time. Just watching it and how it stayed by my side it was like God saying "your healing my child and I will carry you through". Life does look different now and I see things in a different light. I am more humbled and knowing the WD.'s I just went through - like you said aches and pains I can deal with. Just have your Guard up like my friend Sarah on here told me. Put on your armor and keep it on for the devil is like a seeking lion ready to devour your mind. Also remember your not alone in this boat and Jesus is right there with you!
Love ya my sweet friend!
NoMore:)

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