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Jun 29, 2018 - 3 comments

I think the moon is kickin my ash.  I’m so disconnected to everyone and everything.  God, this is such a problem.  At least once a day I think my exit would just make life so much easier for so many.

It’s to the point where I feel guilty just taking up breathing space.  I think someone else, anyone else, so many else’s deserve the real estate.  I feel like a failure.  Fack, is this some midlife crisis shite?  It’s always something with me.

That’s how I feel .... embarrassed because it’s always something.  I just want to not give a shite and be numb.  When I was really young and couldn’t handle my “head”, I used to think that a lobotomy would be ideal...... no, I know better now.  

I can’t deal with my thoughts about ...... you name it.   .... actually it’ all about ME.  It always is.  

Hub and I did mushrooms on Father’s Day weekend.  Was hoping it would be therapeutic..   turns out i should have taken waaaay more if I wanted that effect.  It was so hot that day.  Uggghhhhh we couldn’t even go outside as it was 95 Fahrenheit.........so we stayed inside and each of us took a couch and we laughed sporadically through the next 5 hours.  it was alright, ..... certainly wasn’t life changing.  I’m not fond of them at all.

I’m stuck in “Cinderella” mode ......dammm,...........speaking of which.....the critters are all calling me, ......not in a good way like as if they made dinner or anything believe me............. I’m a slave to them.  Wtf did i do in my last life to feel so burdened by these little beasts.... I don’t know, but it’s just another thing to feel guilty about.  I’m so sick of being nurse, nanny, hazel and caretaker.
:(

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Avatar universal
by Belle313, Jun 30, 2018
I’m so so ry. I’m at a loss for words right now because I’ve been going 21 out of 24 hours today l. I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you, sending you love  and a gigantic hug.
I know ‘feeling’ emotionally can really suck to us over sensitive people. I wish I had the answer.s. My daughter clearly has this trait at 4 yrs old.
Going to bed.  It’s 1:45 already!
♥️

Avatar universal
by Belle313, Jun 30, 2018
I’m so so ry. I’m at a loss for words right now because I’ve been going 21 out of 24 hours today l. I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you, sending you love  and a gigantic hug.
I know ‘feeling’ emotionally can really suck to us over sensitive people. I wish I had the answer.s. My daughter clearly has this trait at 4 yrs old.
Going to bed.  It’s 1:45 already!
♥️

517872 tn?1562054308
by real_jimmy, Jul 18, 2018
I am very careful now about laughing too much. Sometimes laughing too much can invite tears too. So now I prefer not to laugh too much. But that's me. And something that a teacher once told me. That laughing too much is not good. Anyways, I think you are a genius in your own and you can be such inspiration for your friends but at the same time you can be so much better than you probably expect from yourself. Diamonds need polishing to shine more. So time to dust off the negativity : )  

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