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Random thoughts:

Jul 22, 2018 - 0 comments

Tonight I watched another beautiful sunset and gave thanks to the universe for the opportunity.  The colors of the sunset were unbelievable.  I could hear the gentle breeze rushing through the tall pasture grass.  I could smell and taste the cooler fresh air setting in.  I just stood there on a bridge that spans one of the creeks on at work and I almost felt selfish for not being able to share this experience with anyone else.

I looked down the bank of the creek and saw a trout rise.  I caught the reflection of the last remnants of color in the partially cloudy sky and understood how lucky I am to be where I am.  

Other people facing the same battles I have didn't get the opportunity I did.  They didn't have the chance to see another day.  Why did I have the strength, energy or power to keep going while they succumbed to the pressure of facing another day in grief?

As I walked back to the work vehicle, I remember my struggles.  I remember wanting so bad to just fall asleep and not wake up.  But even my sleep time was full of stress and anxiety.  I couldn't help but think about the things that went wrong, and what the consequences might be for something left undone.  I could lie in bed for 8 hours and feel as if I had 10 minutes of sleep, and then it was back to the coal mines facing the same mundane routine, expecting the same lame results, and I got them every time.

I shook off that feeling when I put the car in drive.  Looking to the south, I could see Munger mountain.  Different shades of green as far as the eye could see, and everything was alive.  

I am alive, and I am grateful.


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