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Jul 27, 2018 - 2 comments

I can’t do this anymore.  I don’t want this life anymore.  

I am a monster.  I don’t want to look after these animals anymore.  I don’t want to look after anything anymore.  Nothing is worth this.  

Can I hate you because I do everything for these animals, f******* everything!  No, but I can’t help hating you because I do everything and you are still the one they’d rather be with.  

I can’t take feeling less then sub par, a burden and inept........ anymore.

People don’t usually leave over one big thing in life but I absolutely understand how they leave over many many little things.

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517872 tn?1562050708
by real_jimmy, Jul 27, 2018
I think love isn't is always returned back as love, sometimes it is the lessons that may set you free from the expectations of being loved back and yet feeling the beauty of love and the other times you receive love from directions or people you had not anticipated. Your friends love you and we are always there for you so you can share anything with us, especially me of whatever is bothering you.
Take care

242912 tn?1402543492
by Jade59, Jul 27, 2018
Hey girl.  God I just don't know what to say.  My heart breaks for you.  I think, too, you have to squat to care for animals, and that is causing your feet to hurt even more.  That's what stops me from adopting another kitty, I know I can't do it...which makes me incredibly sad.  I've been weeping all morning since reading your j shortly after you posted.  I wish I could help you in some other way than just words.  But like Jimmy said above, we are your friends and we love you.  Just know I read your journal and I'm sending love and hugs to you.  That's all I know to do.  What I just wrote seems so inadequate.  

(((Janice))) xoxo

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