Sep 22, 2010
My baby is here now and he is such a blessing....such a good baby, I get atleast 4-5hrs of sleep a night if not 7!!!!! Wow, What can i say, some mothers are pulling their hair out right now, so I cant complain at all.
My therapist found another job, and I can't see her anymore :( So Im really disappointed and am gonna miss her. She helped me sooo soo much. With that said.....here is my issue.
I did not go around my family for the 9 mos that I was pregnant, alot of the reason they THINK is because of my BF but really it was my ANXIETY/PANIC attacks that I get, I went off my meds and all so I wanted to do what was best for my son, social situations ESPECIALLY my family get me really panicky, I remember one easter (before finding help & getting on meds) I would drink a glass of wine before a family occassion.
Just a quick background on my family...they all like to drink and put everyone down, me and my mom were always treated like CRAP. They always denied my mom had medical problems until now! AFTER she lost TOO much wait and can barely walk without someone holding on to her. NO ONE in my family knew about my anxiety because I knew it was just be a waste of breath and energy to explain. SO I always hid it with alcohol or meds.
ALL of a sudden I stop coming around and my uncle invites my mom over for dinner every once in awhile....WOW. What a shocker.....we always had some sort of money troubles and rather than helping us out we would have to clean his dirty *** house and he'd pay us.......NOT ONLY THAT. BUT all FOUR of my moms brothers are contractors and they built a home for nothing for someone they went to school with that ended up in a wheelchair yet they say "POOR (MY moms name" And look at her as if nothing is wrong when its smack dead in their face.
Anyway. During my pregnancy I called up my grandmother (After ignoring many of her phone calls and texts) And said it has NOTHING to do with my BF why I havent come around, I said I have REALLY BAD Panic attacks and anxiety her response was very nonchulant(sp?) OHHH WELLL you just have to get over it, breath and count to 5. think of something positive. ALLS Icould do was yes her to death because I knew I would be wasting my breath.
SOOOO Towards the end of my pregnancy my mom told my grandma that I have anxiety and she just doesnt get it she says well we're family (YET NONE of them know me)
THEN, My the same uncle says "WHAT does she expect us to come around when the baby is here?"
We plan on having a christening for my son at a hall..... I just talked to my cousin over the phone yesterday and she said that my uncle said "HE NEVER GOT THE INVITE" BUT THENN My BF mom just got the RSVP from my uncle's GIRLFRIEND saying they cant make it. DOES HE NOT HAVE ANY BALLS. I get the fact that he's hurt or whatever, but come to me as a MAN, an UNCLE, A GODFATHER!!!!!!!!!! NOPE he wants to be a coward.
SO anyway my OTHER UNCLE (THE ONLY ONE IN MY FAM WHO CAME TO THE HOSPITAL TO SEE ME AND THE BABY) SAID TO MY MOM "I REALLY WISH I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW HER"
Well, atleast he made an effort.......
THE THING NOW IS....There will be a birthday party for my lil cousin in OCT. the Christening is in NOV.
I know if I go to the bday party and things arre awkward none of them will come to the christening.....but if I skip the parrrty and see who comes to the christening....that will tell me who to keep around and who to keep out of my life?????? WHAT YOU THINK?