Oct 07, 2010
Wow, it's been a while since I wrote in my journal. I have missed it. There have been times when I have had time to do it but not the motivation. So, here I go in an attempt to start again.
Soooo much has happened since I last wrote yet so much is the same. Life is just as busy as ever with the same things I wrote about before: the house, the kids, the dogs, the vball stuff, the church stuff, and life in general. The long and the short of it is that I have had to tell some people and organizations "no". Some were new requests, some were old obligations. Sometimes I gave reasons, sometimes I didn't. The times I told them about the MS I wasn't pleased with their responses. It usually started out with "Oh, I am so sorry." But in reality they didn't have a clue as to what MS is or how it is effecting me. I have concluded that in spite of the fact that I am not hiding my disease, I don't feel the need to share it unnecessarily. Often times too it leads those people to share with others without my consent, sometimes in public ways. No thank you.
My symptoms, or lack of them, remains pretty much the same. Occasionally I will get some mild tingling when facing extreme stress but for the most part I don't have any symtoms. I have noticed that when I eat something that is higher fat than I usually eat now, some mild tingling can occur. Not sure if there is direct relationship but it's something that I am watching.
Our house has a contract on it (after about 10 days on the market). It is interesting in that the people who made the offer it turns out are related to the original owners whom we bought the house from 12 yrs ago. They were extremely tough negotiators and when we couldn't reach a final agreement on price (we were off about $7000) they threatened to walk. Something told me from the get go that their real estate agent wasn't being truthful but I really didn't know about what. In the end we came down to their price but sold the house "as is" which means any repairs that we might have done after the inspection, we will not be doing. Our agent said that typically repairs cost around $3000-$4000 for a house our size and age. They agreed but almost immediately came back with an exception or they would walk. I told our agent to tell them to walk then, we were not budging. They quickly agreed and signed the contract.
I started to pray about the whole thing. Really I was asking God for some sign that this was going to either work or not work so I could begin planning. Last night it came in the form of finding out that the buyer is related to the people we bought the house from. The woman grew up in this house and still lives in the neighborhood (as well as her parents). She had only viewed the house once for about 45 mintues before making an offer 24 hrs later. A typical buyer doesn't make a decison that quickly unless they have to move (she doesn't). So, I can now assume that she has a pretty high emotional investment in getting this house. Information that would have been nice to have during negotiations but still is nice to have should they try and come back after the inspection.
This brings me to the acknowledgment that when I ask for something, God ALWAYS has an answer for me. Now it is not always the answer I want to hear but He always answers and provides. From the start I felt, and my dh felt that this move was something that was "meant to be". We were not sure why but it just felt that way so we let it unfold. I did begin to wonder if that "meant to be" was also going to include the selling of our house and it appears that it is. And I am not so self centered as to think that this "meant to be" just includes our family as this move touches so many people, not just the principal people moving from one house to another. It's has had a domino type effect on so many people. God's hand is sooooo BIG.
In BSF we are on chapter 5 of Isaiah and are studying God's expectations of us. God gives us provisions and has certain expectations that we use those provisions for His purposes. It has challenged me to take an inventory of those areas that I have been neglecting and those that I am strong in. I want to be a mature Christian that asks herself constantly if what I am doing is pleasing to God. I also want my life to show respect and value for God's word. Am I backing up my faith with a life that truly is God centered? I am working on it.
We had to leave our house for several hours on Sunday for an open house. My kids were already at a friends house recovering from Homecoming activities so I headed over there with our two dogs. My friend told me to put them in the backyard to play but I was hesitant due to the older dog having eye problems and my friend having a pool without a fence. Within about 3 mintues of putting the dogs out there the older one fell into the deep end of the pool. Fortunately I was standing just feet away from where she fell in. I jumped in after her shoes, clothes and all. My friend was yelling and screaming for her husband to come out and help. Help, help, help was the word that rang in my ears. The water was extrememly cold and the suddenness of it all caused me to swallow some water. It wasn't a pretty site but after it was all over it was quite funny. The dog was okay and so was I.
It just highlights that life can have many unexpected moments that we may be called to act without much notice. Are we ready for those moments? They are coming whether we are ready or not. These past few months have been chalk full of unexpected moments and I know there are many more to come. With God's provisions and guidance I will handle them and be a better person for the experience of it all. And I think ultimately that is what God wants, for all of us to be molded by Him and perfected by the "fire", like a clay pot being molded by it's owner.