Freaking Gonna Scream

I am so sick of life and People in it, been working harder then all get out on be Positive but I am pretty Positive that I want to scream I am pretty Positive that I want to Yell at a few people in life and a Couple of those People are my Own Children. Oh My Gosh I am sick of being Walked on I am sick of not saying what I really want to say.. I mean Come on how Can You be on 100% Of the Time? Hmmm I can take Crap and turn it around and You know what some times Lifes *****...it does, Hell I can't take Pain medication because I don't want to have to live on the crap and so I get to live with Pain each day...I get to live with People's Judgment of that and So I kicked that habit and then to move on from that I have just a Load of Crap in my life and I'm so sick of it even getting down to my own kids and that turn around and  talk crap...and I'm tired of it all, is that wrong? I just don't think so , sad Yes it is sad and You know what hurts also, is that they are all into the Money of it all the what dad has, not so much what he gives but that helps but Dad Looks cool and has all that....

You can call me more Natural and Down to earth..was raised with Money and know the Family's in this town from when my parents were alive but you know I'm not that, that was my parents but my x husband has the BMW and the Life that Looks So good but he is so into what he has...and I guess it hurts me more to see the Boys whom I worked so hard with to show them there is more to live then Money and what you have in your house...I am also sick of being the person with No Back Bone...I can't tell you how sick I am of that...Done oh I'm so done...I have to get threw tomorrow's baby Shower I'm doing for my daughter. Sad to word it that way but its true, I'm praying it was her that said things to her dad about my house hold and Now my x husband is saying I'm Too Easy...I let my Son do what ever he wants..OH My gosh..I'm so sick of all the crap oh no worries I'm not going to hurt myself , How I dream of going some place that NO ONE KNOWS....Oh how I dream of that...Its crazy I do think to myself I would miss a few people but really not that many ...What I can't be honest for crying out loud so stuff just goes to hell and it seems that so many of the people I know have gotten so Judgmental and I"m not sure if its me that has changed or them or maybe we have all changed? Wow what would I feel like if my Antidepressant was not working? I think I would be just about freaking out...And I am sorry if I sound Like I'm totally freaking out but I'm just pissed and I'm like Done with not just saying it as it is...Man Done and over that crap...I think I am going to call it a Night............Well thanks for letting me blow off steam....xoxoxo rhea