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Oct 22, 2010 - 6 comments

This is so very, very unfair. I ate a bowl of oatmeal, a bowl of beef stew, 1 oz. of chicken, a slice of Italian bread with butter and a 1x1.5" piece of apple pie yesterday...and I gain 0.6 lbs.?!? And while I haven't been eating good quality food over the past couple of weeks, I've still been eating 1000-1450 calories/day, mostly at the lower end, and I gain 4.6 lbs---now 5.2 lbs. with yesterday's gain. Why am I even trying? I just have to accept that I'm fat, frumpy and always will be. I can't keep deluding myself and struggling to achieve something that I never will.

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1462044 tn?1448398336
by toxicBOOM, Oct 22, 2010
Sky, you are not fat and frumpy. You are a strong, independent woman who can do anything she wants to. You're always there when I need support, so I just hope I can reciprocate. Weight loss is a very serious battle for most people, and from what I've been told, it tends to be even harder for those with diabetes. Set backs can be frustrating, but I believe you said you had lost a lot of weight once before, so depending on your weight then, what you did to lose it, and your situation, try some of those things that worked for you.

We believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself. <3

1462044 tn?1448398336
by toxicBOOM, Oct 22, 2010
Oh, I just read somewhere that the diabetes tracker is for your dad. Oops. That aside, weight loss is still a battle for many, and you have a lot on your plate anyways (um... figuratively of course...).

I hope you have a better day.

1339332 tn?1329857966
by skydivediva, Oct 23, 2010
Thank you, TB. Yes, I've lost lots of weight in the past. 50-75 lbs. at least twice and 100 lbs. once. The 100+ lbs. was 4-5 years ago. It was my most successful attempt, managed to keep it off for 2 years. I'd fallen in love for the very first time (yep, at the "tender age" of 45-46). He was an active outdoorsman and I wanted to keep up so I gave up my comfort foods, viewed "food as fuel" and worked out 2 hours a day (1 hour of cardio, 1 hour of weight training) in the gym in addition to rollerblading, walking/jogging/running and rock-climbing. The exercise is the key for me---when I'm exercising, feel strong, capable and adventurous. Plus, when working out, if I look at a donut I see 100 squats or crunches, or 15 miles on the treadmill instead of frosting, chocolate or toffee. I LOVE weight training...LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it---I like the way I feel doing it, like the muscles I see developing. UNFORTUNATELY, I'm coping with long-time shin splints that become unbearable with ANY cardio and lower body weight training workouts...severe shoulder pain and limited range of motion after failed surgery on my rotator cuff that interfere with upper body weight training workouts and now, on top of it, plantar fasciitis. Without the exercise, I can't succeed. And with the ailments I can't exercise. That's why I'm feeling so hopeless. Back when I was exercising, I HAD to eat AT LEAST 1800 calories a day; if I ate less, my weight loss stalled. But without exercise, I gain weight even on 1000-1400! It's just depressing and discouraging so I needed to stomp my foot like a little child and declare the unfairness of it all. I do appreciate you encouragement, though, so thank you. (And, no, I don't have diabetes---yet---but both parents were diabetic and I'm sure I it's just around the corner for me if I don't get this weight off.)

957315 tn?1277567191
by Barb404, Oct 23, 2010
Sky, first of all, you are lovely looking.  What a shining,pretty, bright face!   So maybe you've plumped up some in the past few years, you're still a very attractive woman.  I hear you about all the physical ailments that are keeping you from exercising.  I had plantar fascitis, but it cleared up when I started to wear Dr. Scholl's arch supports in my shoes.  I now wear Earth Shoes Exerfits which have great arch support and recessed heels so that those tendons are  stretched.  If they work for you, maybe you could at least walk.  
     This weight loss game is sooooooo frustrating, isn't it.  Truly makes you want to throw things, scream and shout!!!!!

1339332 tn?1329857966
by skydivediva, Oct 23, 2010
Thank you, Barb; I appreciate your compliments and encouragement. I have prescription supports and more recently tried some over the counter ones in hopes of the p. fasciitis subsiding, but so far no luck. I'm not working and don't have insurance at the moment and can't see a podiatrist to see if they could help. And, if I can't walk, it'll be pretty difficult to get a job and insurance! I wore Earth Shoes when I was a teen (they were a fad at the time). I'll have to look online to see about the cost of trying them again. I've read they are good for the posture, too, which is another area where I need serious work. Yes, I do want to scream, shout & throw things!!! Like I mentioned to Toxic-Boom, when I reread my lament in my weight journal, the vision of a spoiled little girl stomping her foot popped up in my mind. After all, there are soooooo many others with much more serious problems than I have. But, the "whining" in my journal helps lift the load so I DON'T stomp, scream, shout & throw things. Thanks again, for the support. One of the nice things about this "community" is that everyone else uderstands that losing weight isn't as easy as "getting off your butt, moving more and eating less" as some who have never "been here, done this" suggest. We're all in it together, and though it may not be as fast or as much as we desire, we'll all lose some weight with one another's support. And, maybe we'll do something more important: while I feel worthless and ugly and unloveable due to my weight, I'd never, ever think those things of my friends here. You, Evadee, Toxic-Boom, WhataWoman, Elaine, Mamapig, MaryLL and so many others---despite carrying a few or many extra pounds---are smart, interesting, kind, delightful people to talk with. Maybe, eventually, I'll realize that I share some of these good qualities with all of you and learn to love and value myself fat or thin.

1339332 tn?1329857966
by skydivediva, Oct 23, 2010
P.S. And I enjoy my skinny little friends here, like Ally, Doodler and Tigerlilly, too. ;) It is really sad that society's view of beauty has broken us up into "Fat" and "Thin" when we are so alike in so many ways and sharing so many of the same joys and challenges as we navigate through life.

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