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im so P I S S ED

Oct 27, 2010 - 32 comments

so much for the whole boob job thing im so mad at DH.. some of you may think its ridiculous that id be mad he said no to something like this, but i dont think its ridiculous. im the type of person that likes to treat ourselves as long as we can afford it.
after i am finished with my laser surgery for stretch marks and after my winter clothes are purchased, we will have an extra 416 dollars to put into savings a month. 416. that is 10x the 40 dollars we are putting in right now.
a boob job would cost 90 dollars a month. so we would have 326 dollars extra to play with, STILL. even AFTER a boob job. i bring in 240 a month. i think 90 a month is more than fair to me. he knows how bad i want one. and he knows how much better i would feel about myself if i had one. and he knows how important my looks are to me. he knows how much i obsess over it.
if you think im being selfish or immature, please refrain from telling me. this journal is purely to vent.
this is the part about marriage i HATE. i feel so controlled. i am not used to having to get permission from someone before i do something i want to do for MY body with MY money. it is something that is going to take a lot of getting used to.
i had a baby, i birthed his kid. his body didn't suffer for it, so of course he doesn't care. but i care. i want to be able to treat myself.
well i told him not to even dream of having another child because if this is going to be how cheap he is when it comes to repairing my body after a baby, then i wont have another one. i dont want another one anyways.
UGHHHHH.

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1035252 tn?1427231433
by Ashelen, Oct 27, 2010
it's TOTALLY fair to you....if you're making money then you should be able to save some for your own purposes. that doesn't seem fair to me at all. what an @$$ he's being!!!!

i do want to add though...your body didn't suffer! rachel you're GORGEOUS and I wish you would realize that and accept/love your body!!!

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by ammanda, Oct 27, 2010
Ive told her the same thing Ivy, she is one of the most beautiful girls i know, and i wish she could see that.. Id give my left leg to look half as good as her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Avatar universal
by julianovak, Oct 27, 2010
I think your lucky he let you get laser surgery.... Your lucky... I know i could CERTIANLY use a tummy tuck and that. And You are gorgeous. I think its your insecurities that have you thinking that you NEED this. I Hope you realize that you are beautiful, you dont NEED it at all. Maybe something from your past triggered you into thinking you need this and that done. You are GORGEOUS. You dont NEED it. Im sure your hubby is in love with you the way you are, and he appriciates you for having his child. Sometimes men are bad at explaining their reasonings. Dont forget it IS your body, but he is your  other half so to speak. I mean what if he came out and said i want to get a nose job or bicep implants.... Wouldnt you want to have say in that too??? Regardless if hes the one paying for it. :) Like i said (and everyone else) your a natural beauty, you have to embrace what God gave you. You dont have to be artifical to "look good".

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by brookemeares, Oct 27, 2010
i would just save up the cash and then pay for them, maybe he would feel diffrently if they did not become a monthly expense?

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by Limonada, Oct 27, 2010
I also think that you should try to be thankful for what you've got/are physically, but even as I type this I realize that, when we're unhappy or disatisfied or feeling insecure about something to do with our bodies, it's very real and can blow itself up in our minds to become a huge problem, something that we think about and dwell on so much, to the point that it can interfere with our day to day life.

I've had 2 babies and. although I was spared any stretchmarks on my midsection, I got them on my breasts (I was a C before becoming pregnant....now I'm a D).  While I don't exactly like my new "look", I haven't ever considered doing anything about it (such as laser surgery) - I try to see the stretch marks as the "happy evidence" that I was was able to provide a home for my little boys for 41 weeks each.

But I'm not you.  If this is something that you absolutely can't get past, then I think you should have the work done.  It IS your body....and, not only that (and probably more importantly), it's your EMOTIONAL well being.

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by katsmommy, Oct 27, 2010
wow first i think you have a beautiful body..you look da*n good for haveing a baby..but i do understand how you feel as far as its your body and all i have wanted a boob job for a while now lol..but i look at it like this maybe he loves you the way you are and you need to let him know that this is something that would help you with beinghappy with your self..if you have the money then go for it.your money your body....

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by blueeyedtabbycat, Oct 27, 2010
I cant add anything to what the other have said. You are beautiful. You dont need a boob job but you want one anyways. That is life I guess, we always want what we dont have:( I guess I would just keep telling DH how much you want them. If money isnt a problem than I honestly dont see one. Maybe you could bring him to a counseltation?? Its very informative:) Do you think he is afraid of you going under the knife??
My DH never had a problem with me getting mine done but he did keep telling me he love my breast the way they were:) Good luck, I hope you get what you want. If you have any questions about augmentation PM me.
I cant say this enough but YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! A baby IMO hasnt ruined your body:~) 4 children have ruined mine, lol! Wish I could afford surgery:~)
Tabitha

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by Cassandrajane, Oct 27, 2010
You should be able to treat yourself!! I HATE MEN RIGHT NOW!!
They are really pigheaded at the moment. especially mine! Argh LOL... If you want this go for it! Say well if he wanted anything done that would put a smile on your face I wouldnt say No, I would say yest because all I want is to see you smiling. But I take it thats not what you want for me! I'll be miserable forever!

Thats my guilt trip with John, but John is a Kn0b and still says he doesnt care!!


x

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by vacuumprincess, Oct 27, 2010
awww..  I'm sorry you feel this way.  I agree that if it makes you feel good about yourself, then you should do it.  (as long as you realize that you are already beautiful & you know your stopping point)

Sorry you feel controlled.  I feel that way too sometimes.  I work for my husband!  I have my own bank acct, but never a lot of $$$ in it.  He buys us what we need.  If I asked, I could have it... it just that I feel like such a controlled deadbeat having to ask!!!  I feel your pain!

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by mom2ariana, Oct 27, 2010
thank yall so much i was afraid everyone would think i was being insane; this is why i love medhelp :)
i offered to save it up over time and use cash; that idea was a no go too. :(
he said if i did it without his consent and claimed my money as my own, he would use his money he gets from his job for whatever he wanted and it wouldn't be mine anymore. and i can't afford that...his paycheck is over 2 grand a month and i rely on that for gas, formula, etc... my 240 would be gone in a heartbeat without the help of his income :(
men. i wish they could birth the children for once so they felt our pain.
i think he should consider it something regarding my emotional well being. i obviously have body image issues. i know that. i just feel so strongly about how much this would help.
he says i dont need it and he wouldn't like it anyways. but I would like it and I think I need it... :/

1454858 tn?1306787978
by vacuumprincess, Oct 27, 2010
What a selfish thing for him to say!

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by dscoqn, Oct 27, 2010
I think maybe you have been reinforced so much about your good looks that you think this is the only thing that's good about you.  Looks fade hunnie - it's the things you do and the people you love that's important.  I think your hubbie is a good man for saying you don't need it - imagine if you had a man that keep banging on about your appearance and actually wanted you to have a boob job - that would say to me he was only into you because of how you look - at least this way you know your hubbie loves you for who you are.  I know you don't want to hear that but one day you will realise you are beautiful exactly the way you are.  PS: fake boobs are gross anyway - you wanna look like Tori Spelling??

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by Cassandrajane, Oct 27, 2010

I posted this on your post! Its a natural Boob Job... ou can asked if thy will try it in the US and see if you can be the Guinea pig, might get it for free haha?



BRITISH women may be offered a “natural” form of breast enlargement that uses stem cells and fat from a woman’s own body, under plans being considered by doctors.

The technique, pioneered in Japan, results in breasts that look and feel smoother than conventional cosmetic surgery using implants. This is because the stem cells enable the fat to grow its own blood supply, thus becoming an integral part of the breast rather than a foreign lump.

Stem cells have the potential to change into any cells in the body. They are found in most tissues, especially fat.

Dozens of women in Japan have received the breast enlargements during trials. Last week German medical authorities gave approval to the process. Under Brussels rules, this means that the procedure is now legal throughout the European Union, including Britain. Doctors here said last week they found the technique “appealing”. The technique’s long-term effectiveness without side–effects still needs further tests, but doctors are already enthusiastic.

“I’m newly convinced,” said Venkat Ramakrishnan, a specialist in plastic and reconstructive surgery at Mid Essex Hospital Services NHS Trust. “A lot more people have to use it and prove it, but it does seem to have something to it.”

In addition to cosmetic breast enlargements, which 26,000 women in Britain underwent last year, the procedure can be used for rebuilding breasts after cancer surgery and to repair facial disfigurements.

In a further variation of the technique, a Spanish hospital last week treated a patient with fat-derived stem cells to repair a severely damaged heart.

Both types of treatment rely on a process developed by Cytori, a Californian firm, for extracting adipose tissue and concentrating its stem cells. It has mechanised the process so that procedures which used to take weeks can be done in hours.

Much stem cell research has been directed at finding therapies for diseases such as Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, motor neurone and muscular wasting.

The use of the cells for cosmetic breast surgery was begun in 2004 by Kotaro Yoshimura, a surgeon at Tokyo University medical school. He said last week: “I believe that within five years my procedure will be available as plastic surgery and that it will prove very popular.”

“Scientists and doctors are starting to believe that the best clues to curing and improving our bodies are inside our bodies in the form of stem cells,” said Cynthia Fox, author of Cell of Cells, a new book about the worldwide race to master stem cell technology.

“Breast augmentation is cosmetic but these cells have the potential to treat diseases ranging from cancer to Alzheimer’s.”

Yoshimura said last week he had had “no major problems” with the 39 women to whom he had so far administered the treatment. He has also used it to grow new tissue on the faces of three people with disfigurements.

He claims his technique has advantages over, for example, silicon and water implants which can leak. In addition, some 50% of implants that use plain fat — without the stem cells “boost” — die. This is usually caused by the fat losing blood supply when it is transplanted from the patient’s buttocks or thighs.

The process used by Yoshimura, Cytori and others involves extracting twice as much fat as is required for the implant. Half is treated to separate out the stem cells. These are then added back into the remaining fat to be injected into the breast in a series of treatments.

Some stem cells form more fat and others develop into a living blood supply for the new tissue which can grow into the surrounding breast.

The main drawback is that the stem cell implant gives only half the extra volume of new breast compared with conventional enhancements — 150 cubic cm per side compared with 300 cubic cm for implants. Another limitation is that thin patients may not have enough spare fat.

Eva Weiler-Mithoff, a consultant at Canniesburn hospital in Glasgow, said the technique offered particular benefits for patients needing reconstructive surgery after having mastectomies.

“The most distressing effect of radiotherapy is that the blood vessels shrivel up,” she said. “Stem cells can differentiate into new blood vessels, which could mean that more fat cells will survive.”



MEN DONT CONSIDER NOTHING... Most times! LOL. But in a way he is complimenting youu. Saying you're lovely just the way you are. :) I think you're stunning :)... But if you need a smile then you need a smile, and do anything you need to get it.

x

873692 tn?1337279333
by aly79, Oct 27, 2010
men are such dicks mine is the same way he gave me like 20 last week and thats the most i have gotten in a long time and he feels like that 20 dollars i should be kissing his *** or something i stay home with our 10 month old i think i should get some kind of money i mean if i was working we would be paying like 225.00 a piece for child care i think if you want it get it its your body not his

377493 tn?1356505749
by adgal, Oct 27, 2010
I too am a very independant person, and more of a spender then DH.  He and I often see things differently when it comes to purchases.  I also hated that feeling of being controlled as I have always made all of my own decisions.  Here is what we did, and it has dramatically helped the situation.

We have a joint account, then each have a personal account.  When we get paid (I am on maternity leave right now, but we still budget the same way, just with less money), we first contribute to joint savings/RRSP (same thing as a 401K).  We then contribute to our son's education fund.  We then contribute to our joint account which is for mortgage, household expenses, groceries, bills, etc.  After that we essentially divide what's left into our personal accounts.  That is our own personal money...that way if one of us wants something (vs. a need) we can either save for it, budget for it, or whatever.  Our deal is as long as we are not accumulating debt, our personal account money is ours to do with as we please.  

It works really really well for us.  Even though I don't really have much of an income right now, we do the same thing.  That way I am not always asking for money, or permission to get something I want.  If I can afford it, I get it, if not, I save for it.

Hope you are able to work this out...money is such a huge issue between so many couples.  Good luck.

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by HeatherLF16, Oct 27, 2010
I have been with my husband since I was 18 (I am 28 now) and we have been married since I was 22.  We have a wonderful marriage and have never fought over anything monetary.  He buys what he wants, I buy what I want.  We have separate spending accounts I don't know what he buys, he doesn't know what I buy or spend money on.  He can do whatever he wants I can do whatever I want....now that we have a baby we each take time for ourselves while the other watches the baby and we both buy whatever he needs.  We are both too controlling with our finances to ever share.  We have a joint account where we both contribute to our bills and whoever is making more at the moment will pay more of the bills.  If either of us need money the other gives no questions asked.  It's not for everyone, but it works for us.  If I ever wanted a boob job I would ask him merely for his opinion, but pay for it myself and do what I want... period.  I see my marriage as two individuals who choose to be together because we love each other we are a family now, but still two individual people two equals.... best friends/partners.  We don't tell each other what to do or hold each other back.  So, I would say do what you want and will make you most happy don't let someone else make choices for you.  If you don't do what will make you happy you will just resent him for it  =)

To add to what everyone else is saying you are super beautiful just the way you are... you already look perfect =)  I understand that you think this will improve your self esteem and I am all for that.  But, do you think this will do it?  Or do you think that this will get done and you still won't be really happy with the way you look and want to do more?  The only reason I bring up this point is because people get addicted to plastic surgery like anything else.  Just something to be cautious of.

Avatar universal
by msniki412, Oct 27, 2010
One thing first: Your husband doesn't have a right to tell you what you can and cannot do...he can merely voice his opinion, but deep down inside it's your choice.

I came across this on the side bar, and started reading it. I have to say getting a boob job is crazy (your not crazy!!! just the boob thing is!). I mean, honestly shouldn't we love what was given to us? I understand you had a baby and that your body "suffered" from the pregnancy and that you want to repair yourself by looking better then before, but really a boob job? I see your 19...that's YOUNG! Meaning with how young you are, your body should bounce back nicely after the pregnancy. I skimmed through your pictures and if that picture of you in the bathing suit is AFTER the baby was born...then MY GOD your body is great! It doesn't even look like you had a baby! And honestly, I've never had kids before but I would never say that my body "suffered" from being pregnant with them. You had a baby, so therefore your body will change just a bit....and too me that's a great thing of motherhood (mean's your growing up and your a parent!). I think in this world there are plenty of other things you can do to spend money on to pamper yourself instead of doing something crazy and pernament (yes, you can get a reduction...but really, after spending how much on them in the first place...would you really get them out?). Boob jobs...are cosmectic and I personally don't agree on them. I think as a woman, we should love what we have to start with and love it even more after becoming a parent. Now if this was medical reason, then thats a different story...but I think this is just self esteem issues (right?).

You are young and beauitful...why risk the chance of messing up your body? Because if you don't get a good boob job, then you can be left with painful scars, lumpy breasts and infections. Sorry, I watch way too medical shows...lol

But in any case...I do agree with you, that it is your choice...and it's your body. But maybe listen to your hubby...I think most guys perfer the "real" thing to whatever they use nowadays for implants. He can voice his opinon, but in the end IT'S YOUR CHOICE.

And by the way, I hope I don't offend you or anybody else out there who has implants. I had/have no intentions to offend anybody.

-Niki

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by Cassandrajane, Oct 27, 2010
Men woah!
John's cat got hit by a car, we AGREEEEEEEEEED we pay half each... I pay £40 a week he pays NOTHING and then has the cheeek to say I aint buying xmas presents! He earns £400 MORE than me! I earn £95 a week he gets like £400 a WEEK more than that... Cheeky sod! Pisses me off...
Because he will then ***** about me and then do extra work so I dont get out the house he says he is helping with the baby and the vet bill.... yes buying a Money box is helping buying baby stuff!!! Paying nothing for his OWN cat is helping!!! They need a good kick in the mush!!

xx

1222635 tn?1366399886
by mom2ariana, Oct 27, 2010
oh nikki you dont offend me..i think its just a matter of preference.
i dont want the fake look either. and i dont want to be huge. i just wanted to be the size i am when i am wearing a pushup bra without the actual padding.
you're right it is a self esteem thing. i just really really want it and i feel controlled and that pisses me off
im trying to get him to compromise; by saying that he will agree to at least go to a consultation with me and talk to the dr when we pay off a student loan of mine. i think that is a very fair compromise. but now he is saying he'll never sleep with me again if i get implants grr. i think he's full of ****.

1222635 tn?1366399886
by mom2ariana, Oct 27, 2010
oh i meant to mention the doctor i see for laser surgery is the one that would do the implants..i trust him. he's well known and board certified with tons of experience. a friend of mine had hers done by him.

Avatar universal
by ftmAmanda, Oct 27, 2010
i want a Boob job too after the baby. new Boobs were to be my christmas present. but i got pregnant unexpectedly   even though i AM thankful to be pregnant i still want Boobies. but now hubs changed his mind and told me no. dumb

1303813 tn?1303162962
by Cassandrajane, Oct 27, 2010
Try the o natural thing... talkto him about it see if they will do it! :)...

and ignore your husband!

x

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by specialmom, Oct 27, 2010
Do you think maybe it is not the money that he is worried about?  Perhaps he likes you as you are.

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by vacuumprincess, Oct 27, 2010
This last summer I worked on my husbands gas dock.  I thought about putting out a jar labled
"*** jar.  Please support my desire for bigger breasts"
I wasn't really planning on getting one... I just thought it would be a funny way to collect some tips.  I never ended up doing this, but my husband & I laughed about it.  I told him his business should pay for it.  He could write it off as an expense, as I was his "gas dock girl" it would be a good investment & bring in business.  (me.  always the joker)

1486999 tn?1288080812
by SweetChroi, Oct 27, 2010
its YOUR money, do it anyway.

Avatar universal
by johannaviles, Nov 01, 2010
I totally understand what you mean about the boob job, i do, because i HATED mine after my  2nd baby...However, you should consider before laser, before boob job: is Arianna going to be your only child?  Im asking this because in case you decide to have another baby, nature will do it all over again, are you up to having surgery all over again?

I wanted a boob job, and did mine 3 months after stopping breastfeedin, ans I cannot be happier...But Im more than sure Im not having any more babies.... Just my thought...By the way, you are beautiful girl! :)

1222635 tn?1366399886
by mom2ariana, Nov 02, 2010
thank you :) nope...im not having any more children. i am 100% sure.

Avatar universal
by HaYnSweetie, Nov 10, 2010
I think you are gorgeous the way you are! But i definitely know what it feels like to be bothered by something on your body that you are not happy with! I have been begging for a nose job LOL! I know its completely different from wanting a boob job, because boob jobs dont change your face...but ive hated my nose since being called "Gonzo" by my fat cow cousin in 8th grade! To this day she still calls me that...& she is STILL A FAT COW lol! I tried not to let it get to me, but its never left my mind since. My husband refuses to let me get it done even tho i can pay for it myself! His opinion means alot to me and he always tells me that he loves me how i am, but he just doesnt understand. So i think if you can pay for it and if it will make you feel better about yourself, you should get it done! :)

Avatar universal
by teko, Nov 10, 2010
I say if you make your own money, and the home expenses are provided for, then it is totally your decision. My da had it done after having her three kids. She looks totally natural, not over sized, but looks great in her clothes. She has never regretted it. This is a personal choice. And if you did decide to have other children, it would not ruin the boob job either. Maybe your husband is not concerned about the money so much as the possibility of a personality change on your part and he fears you leaving him in the dust as a result? Some men are insecure this way. And some women do have personality changes as a result.

1222635 tn?1366399886
by mom2ariana, Nov 10, 2010
i would love a nose job. hm. id almost rather have that.
well idk i think he just thinks its a waste of money. he tends to be the saver not the spender. and im DEF the spender. if i think we have room for something i wanna buy it. i enjoy treating ourselves.
i am in charge of the budget though..and i know we have the money. i asked him if we could pleaseeee consider it when we pay off one of my student loans. and i got a maybe we'll talk about it. so i guess thats better than nothing.

1303813 tn?1303162962
by Cassandrajane, Nov 10, 2010
I hate men! LOL..
I'd get it anyways LOL


x

Avatar universal
by kenneltech, Nov 12, 2010
Everyone is telling this woman how beautiful she is and how she needs to realize it, but have any of you heard of "Body Dismorphic Disorder?"  Seriously, you need to check this out, it sounds like you to a tee!

And, yes, I understand about being married, I'm too independent for anyone to tell me anything!

Good luck.

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