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Do I or Don't I or Does it really even matter????

Nov 01, 2010 - 5 comments

Since I have had Trinity I have been so back an fourth. I want another baby, there is no way I could have another baby. When she was first born I was in so much pain and so depressed I knew then I did not want another. Husband went and got fixed because the Dr told us that my scar from my previous surgery had started thinning already making any futer pregnancy that much more of a risk. Now that it is done I feel so depressed some days, then there are time when I am so worn out and exhausted and I feel like there is no way I could do it again anyway. I have 2 teens one is a junior and the other a freshman. So it's not like she is my only, but I feel so sad when I think that she is my last. And when I think of her growing up alone, I really feel bad. I guess it doesn't matter anyway since he has made sure of it, but you know there are ways around that. UGH!!!! Why can't I make up my mind???

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377493 tn?1356502149
by adgal, Nov 02, 2010
I'm sorry your struggling with this hon.  It's sort of a darned if I do, darned if I don't issue isn't it.  I can tell you that after everything I went through to have Ryder, then a dramatic and stressful delivery, combined with the ppd, I didn't think I would do this again either. Obviously I changed my mind, and the decision feels like the right one.

When you come up the right answer for you, you will know it.  It will just hit you, if you know what I mean.  And you are right, the door certainly isn't closed just because DH got fixed...far easier to reverse or work around than a tubal (at least I think so.)

Take a bit of time...but if it's dangerous for you medically, think really hard.  Trinity needs a healthy momma!!


134578 tn?1614729226
by AnnieBrooke, Nov 03, 2010
Your daughter would not be growing up alone, no matter what else you decide to do.  Most kids get a lot more from their friends than they do from their siblings, who (at least until they are in their 20s) are more likely to be seen as a rival and usurper than a supportive friend.  She is not alone as well because she does have siblings, even if older.  That said, if you decide you want another, you want another.

353148 tn?1293061164
by blessedmomof3, Nov 03, 2010
Thank you ladies, you both have made me feel better. I am still confused, but DH says it doesn't matter because he is not willing to take the risk. I know in my mind the smart thing to do would be to just enjoy what I have and thank GOD he had the grace to bless me one last time, but in my heart I still hurt for one more. Finacially, I don't think we could handle another and DH is turning 41 this weekend and says he wants to retire at 60 and if we have another he won't be abled to. So, I guess the decision is pretty much made, I just need to find a way to except it.

443968 tn?1288612689
by eternidad200, Nov 07, 2010
I hear you friend, and most say lately I have been feelign the same way. I do n ot want James to grow up alone but also we spend so much money with the infertility treatment and it tool us 5 long years, so th echances of having another one are quite slim. Everytime I hear someone else getting preggo it makes me sad and also me approaching the 40th does not help at all. Patience is all what we need and wait up. Maybe God will bless as with another miracle AGAIN

353148 tn?1293061164
by blessedmomof3, Nov 07, 2010
It kills me. We have talked about it alittle and he admitted sometimes he thinks it would be nice, but we have 2 getting ready to start college and he really feels like it's not finacially possible. I think age is just a number. I have several friends in their 40s who are having babies. Some w/ help and some w/o. I just want peace, I don't want to obsess anymore but I can't help it. :-(

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