tired of pills..............but not tired enough

So I have been going back and forth about the decision to finally stop the Norco's for awhile now.   I just don't understand why it is so hard for me to quit.  I have quit worse things than Norco before cold turkey.  I heard once that everytime you relapse and start again it's harder to quit..............maybe that's true.  I'm tired, tired of being a different person than I once was, tired of the financial drain it's putting on me, just tired. And all my problems relate to pills, like I can see a direct connection, it's crazy. And after saying all of that, why can't I just decide not to take anymore or at the very least taper off.  Last week I was looking up info on suboxone online and I found a website that said you can have an appointment within 72 hours. So I bought my pills for the weekend then figured I would have an appointment by Monday. Well I called and it's a 3 month wait.  It really pissed me off because they shouldn't say 72 hours if that isn't true.  The first appointment would be $500 and then weekly it would be $110.  That is so much cheaper than what I'm spending now.  I didn't schedule the appointment though.  We'll see, maybe I'll get tired enough next week to actually do something.