Well, It's over.. I knew there would come a point when we would decide not to try anymore. I didn't think it would happen after taking my 2nd round of clomid but it has come to that. I'm still confused and not sure how we ended up right here, right now, but maybe it's this nasty cold/flu I'm still trying to fight off on top of the out of whack hormones or something. I go through spurts of depression and feeling sorry for myself and I get irritable at the tiniest of things, well, they don't seem tiny at the time, but in hind sight, they are. I know that I react (more like over react) the wrong way sometimes and it gets in the way of things. I know it's my fault, I get too emotional sometimes, but I can't help feeling the way I feel.
So, we've come to the decision that we should go down a different path. I've been at that fork in the road for a while now, and it leads to nowhere, so we're going to try and see whats down that other path. The path that leads us into our golden years with a little more freedom, a little less frustration. I know this is probably hard for a lot of people to understand but there are days when raising a teenager is so frustrating and difficult, it makes me question why I am even trying to have another child. If DH wanted to, I would keep trying, but even he is still on the fence about it all, not being sure if he wants to give up the future freedoms we will soon have. It only makes the decision easier when we feel like no matter how much we try every month, it still isn't happening anyways, so maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Things happen for a reason (and don't happen for a reason), so it makes us think this is not the road we should be going down.
I will miss keeping in touch with all the MH ladies here and I hope and pray each of you get your BFP's real soon. I'll probably check in from time to time just to see how everyone is doing but I'm going to try to stay off for while, just so I can transition a little easier from "trying" to "not trying".