Dec 28, 2010
I'm in a horrible mood right now. Everything seems to be going wrong, and I just want to crawl under the covers and never come out. Life just doesn't seem worth it at the moment.
I keep getting sick, whether it be stomach issues or kidney stones. It's causing problems at work, which makes me super angry. I'm constantly covering for other people all the time, just a week ago I missed my family Christmas party to cover for my supervisor whose son had hurt his finger or something stupid. I wouldn't mind except she does this ALL THE TIME. She's rarely scheduled to work an actual dispatch shift (she usually just comes in and sits in her office whenever she wants), but when she is because she's covering someone's vacation or something like that, she always calls in. Always. It's either she's sick, her mom is sick, her son is sick, her garage door won't open, her dog hurt himself, etc.
On Friday, Christmas Eve, I got hit with a horrible kidney stone halfway into my shift. I tried to hold out, but the pain was horrible and I didn't even have ibuprofen to take. I was throwing up nonstop, and I seriously wanted to die. I called my boss, and she said she couldn't come in because she was on her way to her dad's to open presents. REALLY?
I called everyone else. I had 3 hours left of my shift so it's not like I was asking them to cover the whole thing. No one could come in. Finally, a night shift girl said she could come in a little early, but not much. At this point I'm in so much pain and I'm trying not to cry. I can't even think straight anymore. I remember thinking that if the only way I can leave to get help is if I quit, then I was going to.
I'm training a new girl who was working with me that day, and she kept telling me to go, she could handle it. I'm a police dispatcher, and we only had 3 officers on, so I finally gave in. I took a radio with me to monitor the traffic, and we told the officers that I was leaving so they needed to not do anything unless it was an emergency for the last 3 hours of their shift.
I went straight to the ER and spent the next 4 hours there.
Now, I'm getting in trouble. I shouldn't have left the new girl alone, I should have held out or waited for the other girl to get here, and plus I'm out of sick time so that's a whole other story. I'm just waiting for my boss to get here today, it's my first day back, because apparently we need to talk. Yay.
I spent my Christmas break in pain, crying, and super depressed. I don't hate my job, but I hate the people at it. I don't want to be here, and I dread each work day. I think I'm going to go on FMLA so they can't say a thing to me about missing work.
I've gone above and beyond for this company, even working a 20 hour shift one day because no one else could come in, but none of that matters. It's only when you screw up that people around here take notice.
This is just stress I don't need.