Jan 25, 2011
So it's been quite the few weeks for my little man. Boxing day (Dec. 26th for my American friends) he had an ear infection. I handled it just fine. He went on antibiotics and quickly recovered. A few days after starting the antibiotics he caught a cold. It was bad enough, but nothing that really set me off. I did take him to the Dr. as the cough seemed to linger, but he was fine...it was just due to the runny nose and mucus running down his throat. No bronchitis or anything. I was rather proud of myself that I was able to use the tools my Physciatrist taught me to overcome any mild feelings of anxiety. I did really really well. Well, this past week we have had something new. For the past few days, mild diarea. I just chalked it up to the fact that we are transitioning him from formula to cow's milk. Our pediatrician had said this could happen, and as long as it wasn't severe or bloody, not to worry. It was normal. Well, it wasn't severe and it wasn't bloody, so no worries.
Last night about midnight Ryder started screeching. Not the "I woke up and am feeling mildly fussy crying", but the "I am in pain" type. I went in and picked him up, rocking him for a bit. He has been working on his eye teeth, so again, chalked it up to that. Normally I don't feed him in the middle of the night, but he was really upset, so I warmed some cows milk for him. He drank it all...about 6 ounces, got all sleepy again, so I put him back to bed. He started throwing up. I picked him up, and it turned projectile. This was the first time I had encountered this. I woke my husband up needing some help. I had Ryder in one arm, he was screaming and throwing up all at once it seemed, and needed his help. It stopped. Cleaned him up, changed his sleeper and diaper, and it started all over again. I handed him over to Warren and called the nurse. (we have a 24 hour helpline here where you can talk to an RN..wonderful service to have, let me tell you). Anyway, long story short, he continued to vomit for a very long time. It was eventually just bile. I spoke to the nurse line 3 times, and we decided it was time to take him in.
Got to Sick Childrens' Hospital ER, and Ryder started throwing up again the second we walked through the door. Triage saw us immediately, and they sent us to a room to wait for a Pediatrician right away. They were fabulous. They gave him some medication to stop the vomitting, checked him over, then had us give him tiny bits of pedialite every 10 minutes for about an hour and a half. They said it was a virus that was going around, taught us what to watch for (mainly dehydration) and home we went. All day today it has been almost constant diareah. Poor little guy, I have changed his diaper every 1/2 hour it seems. As per Dr. directions, gave him only pedilite this morning, then tried some cereal in the afternoon. He seemed to tolerate it, until 2 hours later, and up it came.
I spoke to the nurse again this afternoon with a few questions as the info they sent us home with was contradicatory. The info on treating vomitting is a bit different then treating diahrea, so I wanted some clarification. On the phone she also did a quick assessment with me, and asked me how his breathing was. Well, his breathing has been fine, but of course that is my trigger. I could feel my heart begin to pound and that feeling of terror start up. I then began to fixate on dehydration (please don't ask me how I went from breathing to dehydration...none of this makes sense). So, for the past few hours, I have been waking up my poor little boy by sticking my finger in his mouth, then in his diaper to see if it's wet. I also wake him to give him pedialite. The poor child is asleep, which is probably the best thing for him, and here I am obsessing and waking him up. I cannot sleep....I am watching him like a hawk.
I hate this...I hate being this way. I do not want to be that super overprotective mother that does not allow her child to be a normal little boy...get dirty, be exposed to germs, etc. And I do not want to give him some sort of complex by being obsessive every time he gets sick. We have many illness' in our future. It's part of growing up. Logical me knows this, but I can't seem to turn this off. I know part of this is my current state of exhaustion. Up all night last night, and didn't get much of a nap today. I am also still recovering myself from a painful procedure, and although I am able to get by without the heavy narcotics (percocet), I do still need the tylenol 3's. I wont' take them though, because I am afraid that he will need me and I will be too out of it. My mom was here, but went home today.
Ryder is not that sick. I mean, he has a nasty bug, but it's certainly not life threatening or anything. He is going to have lots of these. So why do I do this. I am going to call my Dr. tomorrow and see if he can't squeeze me in this week. I need to nip this in the bud before it starts to take on a life of it's own again. It's not fair to my baby or to my husband. I thought I had conquered it somewhat, but who am I kidding. Today was a full blown panic attack and I am so mad at myself. I want to be a normal mom, not one of those obsessive parents who can't let their kids be kids (you know what I mean). It feels like a big backward step and I am frustrated.