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trying so hard to feel good

Jan 27, 2011 - 10 comments

I just wish i could wake up and feel good, yesterday was hell day. Started off with fight with my daughter when to the market tried to go fast cuz pt was coming for mom at 2pm told both kids everthing was done for grams but I had to go get some food in this house, bancey bancey checky-- end of the month no money lefy and kids of coarse can't help with that. anyhow got 4 calls from nieghbor coco was out ( my dog) ( kids were to fix the fences 3 days ago) then pt calls she is at the door no one is answering!!! call the kids oh my son to stoned and daughter said i never told her pt was coming OK whatever can u let her in Iam checking out and on my way!! so she lets her in and they both go to the back house and leave her in the house alone with my Mom  NO NO it is not allowed!!! they are never to be in the home without someonne else in here. I could get in trouble for that.  Anyhow just trying to get thought each day the best i can,seems my family just adds to my rollercaoster ride. I was having a patick attach in the store almost had to leave my basket sitting there, But i needed the food!!!!
thank god the pt is cool and gets what iam going thought. I take good care of Mom and should be able to go to the market for 20 mins without so much HELL. ,

Monday the medical worker came over and is allowing me to get some help so I can get a break. somedays mom wakes me all night long and then 8am is up for the day and wakes me up. I do not sleep good and can not naps well. so i well be nice to leave and know the cna will do what i ask or get fired!! I just need to be able to have that comfort.

Today i can't seem to wake up It is 3pm and still sleepy, have not done a thing yet except for mom. She is sleeping so hoping in my shower and trying to get up and do some cleaning!!

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by crackerjack4u2, Jan 27, 2011
Bless your heart Hun, it certainly sounds like you have your hands full.  I don't blame you for being upset and Yes you should be able to leave for 20 mins and know things aren't going to fall apart while you're gone.  You have so much going on, and from your journal it seems as though no one is helping you with any of it.  It sounds like you might need to make out a chore etc. list for everybody to follow.  You are not well yourself, and can not keep up this pace without everybody doing their share of what needs to be done. I'm so sorry you aren't resting well either because being tired before the day even starts makes for a very long, painful, and exhausting day.  I Pray you get everyone in the household doing what they should be doing, so you can find some time throughout the day to rest, and do somethings you enjoy doing.  Good Luck and God Bless Brenda

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by SarahL2491, Jan 27, 2011
You certainly get an  for effort and patience!  You do have a full plate!  Do take time for yourself when you can, snatch moments here and there even if small ones.  We are pulling for you!

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by telynn, Jan 27, 2011
Thanks u guys, Yes I will be making changes around here!! And once the In Home Surpport kicks in.. I will hire someone 2 days a week so I can get out or just sleep! and in the mean time when I leave the house I will Post NOTES as to what they need to do and there will be no POT smoking when caring for there grandma!! Do kids ever grow up.. I guess intill I give them the boot they will never leave. I remember my daughter at 16 use to say I can't wait to be 18 so I can move out!!! HAHA she is still here and she is 22.

Thank you guys Terri

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by Nat_16, Jan 27, 2011
Sorry to hear you've had a couple of tough days lately!!!!  It will be good once you get someone in 2 days a week so you can relax and spend time for yourself!!!!

Oh, I can relate to your daughters comments about not being able to wait to move out and now she's 22 and still home...When you turn 18 and can move out it's almost like it's too much like hard work LOL...I'm 20 so I guess I'm sorta close to their age!!!

Take it easy!! : )

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by telynn, Jan 28, 2011
Hi LOL Yes you are the baby around here That's COOL do u still live at home? I hope so,
you have alot of reasons Why you should still be living at home. Iam not sure are you working or able to work or school???

feel good today and even got up at 8am, whooo hoooo


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by Nat_16, Jan 28, 2011
LOL...yep, definately the baby!!!!  I live with my Grandmother.  

I am going to uni (although I had to drop to part time study, was supposed to graduate before Im finishing in june).  Hoping that once I graduate my levels will be at a point I can work fulltime.  

Good to hear you feel good today...geez, 8am...what an early start!!!!

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by telynn, Jan 28, 2011
Hi Nat, what do you Want to do, what are your study's?  (whaya wana be when u grow up) LOL

I think iam going coocoo Terri

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by Nat_16, Jan 29, 2011
Hi Terri...I'm studying a business degree majoring in marketing.  Was hoping to do a double major and add in a PR major along with marketing but my thyroid isn't allowing that at the moment.  I'm not well enough and it would be too much.  So sticking to the marketing for the moment and maybe will add a PR major when I get healthy again.

The ultimate dream is a marketing role which is international so I can get paid to travel...that would be amazing!!!!  But it's gunna take some work to get there!  

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by telynn, Jan 29, 2011
Nat, Thats great! We will have another party for you in June! I love to travel also. Just can't afford it right now. and of coarse could not leave Mom.

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by Nat_16, Jan 29, 2011
Haha! Thanks...I'm trying not to get too excited to graduate because I got excited before and when I had to go to part time and I wasnt graduating yet it was so disappointing because I was so excited and now it's still 6 months away.  At first it was devistating, but, now I've realised it had to happen and just gotta accept it.

I can't wait to travel!  First stop; Europe!!!!!!!!!  

I'm hoping to go on a little trip (still here in Australia, just interstate) towards the end of the year, maybe october. Just to get away for a few days.

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