Jan 14, 2008
So I thought that maybe this time I'd break the pattern of a meltdown after each appt. with my neuro. This time was going to be different. For one, I wasn't waiting on any test results. And two, he had previously told me that if things had not improved by our next visit that he was going to send for bloodwork for Lyme's Disease, another T-2 weighted MRI, and possibly an LP.
I felt good going in there. My symptoms have become worse. I have been following the word of my neuro taking supplements, B-1, high B-12 (even though my B's came back normal in my bloodwork), Omega 3, Coenzyme-Q, Magnesium, Vitamin C and a multi-vitamin. Not the biggest collection of pills, nor are they hard to take. But the doc said to do it, so I do it. So I felt good going in there. I felt like I had developed some trust in this doc, and that he was actually listening to me.
Boy was I wrong. Even though both he and my chiro have noted increased weakness in my strength tests, decreased reflexes, etc. Numbness, fatigue, vision jumping, have all become worse.My neuro told me that it's all anxiety. He would also like to send me in for an overnight sleep study. I asked about having a Lyme Disease test done and would like to have the Western blot done...he told me that without the bulls-eye it is impossible to have Lyme (i know otherwise.) I asked him for that other MRI he told me about (which he SOLD it to me last time, describing that it is a bit stronger than the last T-2 I got and would pick up lesions that didn't show up on the last one). He told me that even if I got another MRI there would be no lesions. I reminded him that 4 months had past and asked his reasoning for denying all of these tests.
"They're expensive." he replied. .....(I think that this was my boiling point.)
I reminded him that it was MY pocket book and not his. That my husband and I are willing to continue racking up the medical bills in our search for an answer. (We pay out the butt for good insurance ....and we are going to use it.) He also mentioned that it was expensive for the insurance companies and that he likes to try all possible angles before ordering more tests. (great to know that it's about the insurance companies and not the patient..isn't it?)
Mr. Doc sir smarty-pants Neuro dude must know his stuff though.... ...it didn't change the fact that I was pissed...
It is SO frustrating to be on a quest to find answers and to have a neuro on a pig-headed glory trip.
I usually hold it together until I hear my husbands voice over the phone. This time he was anticipating news of new tests and maybe even some answers as to whats going on. What he got on the receiver when I called was nothing short of a blubbering-screaming tear-filled fury.
But that's okay. I am pretending that I never went. I'm pretending that I never saw him that day. I have a 2nd opinion MS specialist that I am going to see on 06 February. And we'll go from there.