Jan 31, 2011
I tired so hard to be in a good mood to be supportive for someone else you needed it and now it has left me depressed and full of anxiety. What if I fail school (this has never happened ever), What if I die and no one remember a sad scared artist, What if my beliefs are wrong and I am damned, What if I never find a lover, What if I go crazy, and it just goes on the repetitive bad thoughts I feel as though I got nothing done today. I feel that there is no hope. I dont' mean to be a monster but I cannot help it.
Then I take a deep breathe and I try to find something I can do Something that will set me free from this worry but I dont have any drive all I want to do are things that get me no where perhaps I will put on some music and just go crazy at a art program.
The thought it have you ever tryed to be there for other and then felt drained but what if you where the cause of there need to have someone then it would be your resposibilty right but now I just feel a bit on the crazy side.
In good news I have a nice hot cup of chamomile tea here to drink. We are still just barely balancing on the edge but if everything works out well make it. All we need to do is be able to make it though next month's bills. I just need a little more hope and ill be better