Feb 01, 2011
I am working hard at keeping it together but losing the battle. so tired of being down having nothing that is positive to grab onto.
Still unemployed and no job in sight. I've run out of ways to mickey mouse the bills and today I hit the wall. I sometimes sit back and think something will come along to help us but so far nothing.
the weather is so bad here with the snow that I have been kept busy but realy nothing that has meaning.
I am straight and have had quite a few days lately when I thougth I deserved to feel good for a few hours abut I fought those thoughts. Drugs do not even appeal to me but I know if there were any in the house I would use.
there are no answers to my problems just going to sit down and cry alittle then go battle the snow.
just need to vent and feel sorry for myself for awhile and I could never go out to get drugs cause of the storm. so a relaspe will not happen.
I do think all the time that using is not an option and really feel that way. my friends here have helped to keep me straight wish I had a place to go to help with the rest of my life.