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living with bipolar

Sep 08, 2008 - 0 comments

Today I woke up and tried to think of an excuse to not go to work... I had last week off as I lost my voice and as my job is talking for most of the day I was not able to go in... I have anxiety and I feel nausea as well! I can feel my confidence going down and I am constantly telling myself that I hate my job...
I didn't really have a good day at work. I know it did not help with me talking negatively about going and being there, I just could not wait for tomorrow knowing I had the day off... I need to remind myself that I only work 3 days and I can do this.
I have so much on my mind at the moment and I really don't like where I am traveling... I have been having a few big weekends lately due to friends 40th and the party seems to never be ending..... I know alcohol is not good for me and is worse for me than for someone else and it brings my mood down really bad. I shouldn't of had drinks this sat with friends I should have been stronger and more responsible...
I feel drained, cloudy and shaky at the moment and the feeling is horrible. I need to get back on track again and stay focused, remember what is important to me and balance.... I want to give up smoking when I get back from holidays at the end of the year and make sure I commit myself to this, I feel I am aging big time... I walked the dog when I got home which was really nice, I always feel better after a walk it clears my head and I feel like I am in a good place.
Tomorrow what should I do?? take ids to school, walk the dog, clean the house, organise dinner for the family, go on the internet. I really enjoy this medhelp I find it is great speaking to others who also have this condition as not many people know I have this.. Only my close friends and family..
speak soon
bp13 xxx

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