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Living with Bipolar!!!

Sep 08, 2008 - 2 comments

I have today off and It is such a beautiful day outside, I have just come home from walking the kids to school and Took my Dog with for the walk also. I will also take him out a bit later in the day for a run around off the leash ( he loves that).
I made myself get up this morning I am feeling still not the best.... Not too bad but you know I have felt better, I seem to have a lot of anxiety at the moment and I don't know why?  
I reckon I will write down things l'd like to achieve short term and long term. The hard part will be putting it into action..
This year the focus has been on our holiday and we have had to of gone without alot due to saving... I really want to start scrap booking next year as this is something I have been wanting to do for ages... I sometimes feel I battle with myself and try to be something I am not anymore. As I am getting older I find I am more into myself and less of a social butterfly and I feel selfish that this is what I am turning into.. When I except that this is me and I am not the centre of attention I focus more, relax and feel content. I don't know what triggers my change but I find myself at times battling with who I am now and at times will go back to being a wild child (immature) why is this?????
I give so much to people and at times I expect so much from people, I can be disappointed  very easily and I can also disappoint.... I don't like getting close to too many people because I worry that I will flip and they will see a side to me that I hate.  People at work see me as this really easy going, easy to approach girl and I struggle to accept that.. Why? I sense other peoples mood and often take it on board and somehow will blame myself for their mood.... It must be my fault ( go figure)  I have gotten much better at telling myself how can this be my fault and you know everyone just like me cannot be happy all the time.  But I slip now and then and it consumes me.
I feel so much better getting that off my shoulder.  I have so much to say but I will leave it for another time...
Take care
bp13 xxx

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193137 tn?1367880063
by sk123, Sep 08, 2008
It might help if you tracked everything in the mood tracker. Then you could keep track of your mood swings and what happened around that time. You can also write journals in your mood tracker. I look forward to hearing what else you have to say.

610665 tn?1237848048
by bp13, Sep 08, 2008
Thanks for the advice, but I can't be bothered tracking my moods I would rather express my mood in a journal like this one. I find it helps me to recognise my moods this way.
I see you love your Dog, how old is she? I have a border collie who is 16mths old named Toby and he is my bestest mate (apart from my hubby) . So smart and loyal and takes great care of me, as I do him....
May be getting another one (female) Never had a female dog before, always had males, looking forward to it and it will also be great for Toby who would love the company when we are at work/school!
Take care

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