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A little Background on me

Feb 10, 2011 - 2 comments










I am a 24 year old Female. I have been taking pain pills for 2 years. I got addicted slowly and then one day I just didnt feel normal without them. I wish I had never taken than first pill. Anyhoo, I dont want to go on a big Pitty potty and say how hard it is and how scared I am every morning of my life. But it sure  as hell ISNT FUN. I wake up, if I even fell asleep, wondering where my next fix is going to come from. I dread waking in the morning having to face a day without pain meds. I hate how much of my life has been taken over by this.
About 2 weeks ago I finaly got the courage to go to the Doctor for help and She said she wasnt equipped to handle it. That I would have to go to a pain treatment center. Which DONT accept medical insurance and are $500 + dollars for a first visit. I support my disabled mother on one full time income. I dont have that kind of money! Its almost a slap in the face how hard it is to get help.
Anyway, I downloaded that Tracker thing to use. If I have pills I normally take 30-100mg of pain medecine a day. It doesnt matter what. What ever I can find. Vicodin, percocet, Oxycontin, methadone. Ive tried them all and more.
On my tracker I Noted USE PER DAY in how many 5 MG pills I took. Ok, enough for now, Need to get back to work.

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by Gininjuice, Feb 10, 2011
I feel your pain...I am the same way...Waking up thinking "where am I going to get my next handful of pills"...I realize I made my bed, now I am sleeping in it...I have been addicted for about 2 1/2 years...I can't believe your Dr. couldn't help you!  That's ridiculous!  I am going about this all by myself and it ***** to be alone in an addiction, but it is what it is...I haven't had a pill in 48 hours and it is hard but I'm alive lol...Good luck to you...Prayers going your way...

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by evilways, Feb 14, 2011
How are you holding up? I took 2 1/2 7.5 mg Percocet on saturday night but I havent taken anything since then. Mostly because I dont get paid until tomorrow and cant buy anything. Ugh Im such a mess! I have been taking alot of tramadol. I know its not good for me OBVIOUSLY but it takes the edge off the withdrawls. Im going to TRY not to buy when I get paid, but I feel like I set myself up to fail. It IS really hard doing this alone. Im glad you know how I feel. I feel like if I told my family I would be letting them down so much. So It is my secret and my road and I'll keep walking it alone. How are you doing? anything you need to Vent about, im here!!

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