just found out that the imperative to self-harm, agitation and absolute desire to be dead are all side effects of coming off effexor! so some problems after all. i was expecting physical side effects not phsychological ones.
hi rj. the desire to (cut, burn) is completely gone. don't know how i did it. still suicidal but that's normal for so long now than i have to keep making sure i'm not in a position to act on it.No lamictal yet and feeling abandoned by pdoc. automatic assumption that i mush have done something wrong but reality prob is that he's really busy but i do feel that the door of support should not be opened and then suddenly closed! surgery is on wednesday after all so not sleeping at all with the terror of the whole thing and trying to summon the courage to deal with it. snapped at my brother when he told me it would be fine! what i want is get through it not have people tell me it'll be fine. takes a lot more than that to cure a phobia!!
how're you doing? enough of my ****! thanks for help.
Irishwriter u really worried me last night. I was so afraid for u I can tell that med is messing u up. Call ask dr. 4 ur prscrp, bzy or not, he neds 2 take better care of u I had the I did something wrong for years. I still have it to some degree. I've probably written you 3 notes since last night, and probably repeats, but my heart goes out to you &what is hapng to you. ur dr tht gives u meds, is he primary care or psyc. dr? Primy is not specialized in that field u shld have med to replce whn u go off. Being sick on top of that is not helpng U any. Your bro prbly mnt well. We all sy fine to assure & comft Dnt thy wk out pln u wer hapy wth U hve bn so sic u shldnt pt it off try 2 relax much as possible over it.
I ok slepng probl nothng bad. I prayng 4 u. kep n touch RJ excuse so many notes sorry, but i worried
thanks for notes! pdoc prescribes then i have to go to regular doc to get the prescription changed to a medical card script so tht i get the meds free! reg doc is an awful man and am trying to move house so that i can have a wider choice of docs, need to find someone kind who wont call me a liar when i say i have nausea cos he thinks the meds should have worked. i arranged for my daughter to go stay with my son for a few days so that she wouldn't have to witness my stress, panic and overall distress and ended up getting a lecture from a friend who just cannot relate to this disease and she pretty much told me i was a bad mother. of course i'm inclined to believe her even though my three children are so good, kind and decent. my son even though he's only twenty would be more protective of her than even i would! god help any guy who would even try to chat her up in his presence! rationally i know it was a good decision for her and for me but you know when self esteem is low and defences are down i doubt everything! the plan i worked out with pdoc didn't happen and i gathered all my courage today and wnt to the hospital to see if i could do paperwork today so that on tuesday i can take lots of xanax so tht i can walk in for the surgery! not possible. talked to another friend today and she is going to come tomorrow for couple of days. only person who realised how bad i am. i'm terrible at sounding so upbeat all the time that nobody believes i'm unwell. i'm incapable of moaning about. they're so used to me being the strong one that nobody wants to accept that sometimes im not strong at all. thank you again for all your help.
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