Feb 23, 2011
I wish I could put into words just how I feel. Depression and anxiety seem to be the only words that I can find. So tired of two minimum wage jobs. So tired of being alone. Never able to get anything done or move forward in any kind of positive way. I feel like so much of my life has been a waste and don't see it getting any better. I'm so tired of all of these medications and all of their horrible side effects!!! When I don't take the medications I fall apart mentally but, when I do I fall apart physically. I either lose my sex drive or I feel so tired all of the time that I can't get anything done anyway. What seems to bother me more that anything else is just the constant feelings of loneliness that seem to plague my thoughts from the minute I wake up to the minute I lay down to sleep. So many people take for granted just how lucky they are to have a person to be close to. There are times when I feel hopeful that some day I can have that. The reality is that I shouldn't be thinking of that at this point in my life anyway. Suicide seems to be a constant thought that I just can't seem to push out of my head. I know that in the end there will be those who will miss me but, I'm sure with time I'll be long forgotten.