Mar 02, 2011
This will be My 4th day clean. The Withdrawls seem to be delayed and just kicking in now. Im not feeling to great today. Im trying my damn-dest Not to have cravings. I wish I could just forget about Pills and never look back! But it doesnt work that way. Grrrr...
I just applied at a house with my Boyfriend and im really hoping we get it. I will feel like it will be a new start for my whole family. I dont want to go back to using but there is this monster inside me that wants the Opiod and will do anything to get it. It screams and claws at me until I cant take it anymore and I go out and buy some pills. my new Goal is to defeat that Monster, Take her out of the equation. I know that kicking this habit will be the hardest thing I will ever have to face internally. No one in my family knows about my problem. That makes it easier and harder. Easier because its harder to track them down and use If Im trying to hide it, and Since no one knows, Its not brought to my attention everyday. But its harder because I have no close support. No one to tell all of my feelings and Pain to, Thats why this Forum is so important to me. I have had some really wonderful people reach out to me and offer support on here. So thank you to all of you, for the suport and the help. I would be lost without you! Thats enough for today I think. Im crossing my fingers and Sitting up straight to fight these evilways.