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What the?

Sep 11, 2008 - 4 comments

Yesterday at work we had meeting just like every other week. We needed to go over good health issues and make sure we are all looking after ourselves blah blah blah. One of the topics that came up was mental health and I could feel myself becoming a little uneasy as my first thought was "they know" not much was said but I had a moment where I wanted to stand up and engage in a conversation about this and let them know what I deal with everyday of my life... I didn't though! I kept quiet and told myself "no they don't know, I am just paranoid"  

I'm bored at work at the moment and I feel I am not doing my best! I've gotten to the stage where I know my job to well but so scared to try something new. I hate the feeling you get when you get a new job, you feel stupid, your not going to understand or work out... but then I am bored. It pays my bills and its only 3 days a week which is perfect for me and where would I get this elsewhere?
I am damn good at it but I feel I am not giving it my best anymore...
What should I do?????

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553995 tn?1332018840
by Phtartist, Sep 12, 2008
Hey BP, thanks for your notes, thoughtful you are.  

You ask what you should do.  This is merely the opinion of a polar bear but if you're good at what your doing and it works, don't change it.  I feel these days and with our challenges, leave well enough alone.

Bring a little something else to your job to add to your day.  I don't know if that is possible, or you can add to your week by doing a new hobby, an art. This probably all sounds a bit lame but boredom is an enemy of mine and I need to keep my mind busy.

596143 tn?1226648054
by Jlfg, Sep 12, 2008
I agree.  I would stay there untill you feel ok with switching jobs.  I've been at home with my girls for almost 3 years.  And now this is my safey zone.  I want to get back to work so much, but the fear of being away from my girls and my home, around strangers scares my sooooo much.  
About getting bored at your job-can you ask for more responsibities or tasks?  

607502 tn?1288247540
by monkeyc, Sep 13, 2008
The irony is I am very open about being Bipolar - My employers in the last job knew and so did the people I worked with (i helped 2 who had issues themselves) and my new employer knows as well.

I do not hide it, ive never felt the need to do so, but everyone is different.  I do however notice you are in Australia like me - please never ever forget that it is illegal to discriminate in any way on health grounds and that includes mental health and most employers who are smart will bend over backwards to make sure they are not seen doing so as its Federal Legislation in Australia not state.

That being said not every employer or employee can handle it - for my staff they were not surprised in the least but then I run naturally hypomanic so finding out I was in fact BP was not much of a surprise and I got a surprisingly large amount of support from people.  

Remember be true to yourself first.

610665 tn?1237848048
by bp13, Sep 13, 2008
Thanks guys! your support is very helpful and it's great to know and hear from others who also have this condition as these are the best one's to get the right advice from...
The funny and almost weird thing is about me is that whether I hide it really well or what, people that I have told have been shocked to say the least..
When I have needed to have gone to an after hrs GP for other reason's they too are shocked that I am Bipolar, one even asked me if they diagnosed me incorrectly.. I laughed and said No I have control over it most of the time...
This is why I feel I don't feel I need to let work know that I have this condtion.. If I was epileptic or something then yes I believe I would need to let them know...
I guess what I fight with myself with is should I tell them and shock them to also show them that people with a mental illness are capable of living like the rest of us and maybe being an advocate for us??
I know it sound silly because I do certainly have my days where I could just let this condition take over me it is so easy to give in to it... So I won't....

I recently upped my zoloft because I was going through depression and I could feel myself becoming manic... Fortunately I was able to recognise this and immediately lowered my dose... While I was in this high manic I was spending money, gambling and making bad choices basically... The odd part was I was conscious and hated it too.
I told my partner that he needs to control all the money at the moment because I don't trust myself with it right now...

I am proud that I was able to act on my condition and this has helped me to believe in myself more and more....
Don't get me wrong if I am sounded like miss perfect because I ain't.. I am just really proud that I was able to see I was going down a bad road and I was able to see this myself..  I asked my Husband if he saw any signs and he reckons he did but he did not know what to do instantly and was relieved that I could see this myself..
My GP said to me the other day  (My psychiatrist keeps her updated)  I bet you liked the feeling of it.. I looked at her and said you would think so hey? But NO I did not and I was scared.....
Everyday is a new day and I thank whoever is looking over me that I am still alive today and in a safe place.
I feel for everyone who is finding there safe place because the road to safety is long,hard, narrow, steep, shaky, but it is Gold when you arrive....

Guys I love hearing from you all and reading your posts they are all so interesting and inspiring... I am so glad I have come across this site and found people like you all..
Take care all of you and keep in touch please.
BP13 xxx

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