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A Child is Crying.

Mar 12, 2011 - 0 comments
Tags:

Depression

,

child

,

Crying

,

help

,

listen

,

unexplained pain beh

,

family

,

son molested



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My Journal is about life as I see it.
My son which is the youngest of my children. He is now 32 life has attacked him very hard .He was molested at 5 by neighbor.  I didn't find out til he was 13,he started acting out alot til one day he broke down and told me. Which I couldn't do anything back then.  For one thing I had moved to a differnt state at this time. And my son begged me to please don't he didn't want friends in that state to know what happened. He said if I did, he would not tell them it didn't happened.
So I did what I could got him counseling and all that went with t.. Tried to sit in on a few sessions with him, but I got so sick and angry I just couldn't listen anymore to the things he had done to him. Oh! did I mention his wife was in on it also "Freaks"
I am so glad I didn't live there anymore because I would be writing this from prison.
When someone hurts your child like that they are so sick and twisted, they don't even think about the mind damaging thing there doing to the child.
Let alone the whole family goes through a living hell the rest of your life. So my son continualy had  trouble with it.
As he grew older, I would say about 17  it all started,he continualy get in trouble .
He also got mad and moved out by then.
It was right before he turned 18. So I let him move he would have been 18 in a few months, So why start that fight. Then someone called me and told me have you seen,we will call him Mike, I said yes on and off with me working and him it was hard to keep keep track of him now. They said you need to find him. I said ok whats wrong? They said he is so skinney I think hes has a eating disorder then the just hung up.
So that day at work, I started thinking,well I had noticed he had been wearing really baggy clothes. But then alot of your younger people did. So after work I went to his house,knocked on his door he wasn't expecting it to be me. He had his shirt off and it was so scary I thought he was dying. The bones were sticking out just like a skeleton with skin over it .Iwas sobbing by  then. I sat down with him telling him he had a problem,and I will help you with it. so thats what I did.
I drove him every day  2 hours one way to a eating disorder clinic. Where I lived the place is so small they had nothing like this. They told me what happen to him is he couldn't control what had happen to him when he was little. but he can control this. So he thought anyways. So I got him over that hump. Then he turned to drugs you name it he took it. Addiction is awful thing he did anything to get the pain killers sell things steal things. Took my jewerly sold it. Got him into rehab...well actually he did, for a Chirstmas gift to me. He left day before Chirstmas eve. Was sad him not being home for Chirstmas. but I sleep so good  that month knowing he was safe. He got out seemed good but went back into it. Then found out he has HIV it almost killed  me. So then I thought he would stop using nope he didn"t got worse over time. I think I was in bed almost three years depressed just sick all over didn't want anyone around not even my other children.  Let alone my husband didn't won't to deal with anyone. Then he told me something hat really floored me. Someone else has molested before and he had remembered this in rehab when he got clean. He said it was grandma he said when he was about 3 or 4 wasn't sure he said but remebers it very well.This wasn't my mother. You got it!! his dad's which her family thinks she god sent even my husband. So this was a all new ball game now. Never did care for the woman anyways. Shes not to fond of me either.
Oh, yes know its worse because the only two players in this is my son and I. To afraid to say anything to anyone. I am sure my husband may not listen anyways.

I will be continuing everyday to my story if interested just follow it. Lots more to follow because this is my life.

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