Mar 13, 2011
I feel like I'm just living my life as a follower and feel scared to try anything on my own. Like it doesn't matter what I do I'll just fail anyway so what's the point of even trying? I really have to work hard to break this way of thinking. Still no word from Jess. Not that I really expected to hear from her any way but at least I got to tell her how I feel. It's really time for me to get away from so many of the people that I associate with. I have to do everything that I can to get things on my own in life. I have to take myself out of that victim role that I always fall back into and be a man. I really have this burning desire to have a woman in my life and I don't know how much longer I can live my life being alone like this. I'm so shy and even if I feel the signals are there, I still can't seem to make any kind of move. This is really one of the biggest problems in my life and it's not getting any better. Life is to short to be miserable all the time and if I can wake up tomorrow and make the best of the day that will be my start. I'll do everything to live life to the fullest in every way I can!!! Things won't get better on their own. I have to put forth the effort. If I have to move than that's just the way it is. I won't live my life as a loser. That's no way to live. Can I ever be close to another woman ever again?