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Really scared..

Mar 17, 2011 - 3 comments
Tags:

scared

,

sex

,

Birth Control

,

Baby

,

worry

,

family



I had a hard time falling asleep. If I'm not worrying about one thing I'm worrying about the other.
My religion (catholic-christian) forbids pre-marital sex. I never thought I would do that. I never thought I would have sex at ALL. I've always been the "good girl" of the family.
My mother had my older sister when she was 16. My sister had her daughter when she was 18. A lot of the women in my family had their children early AND out of wedlock. I know that doesn't make it okay, but, I was so worried. I mean, if God is real, then I just sinned, right? And when I worry about life after death, I get really sick and I hate it so much. But I love my boyfriend. I've known him for 13 years. We've always been really close friends. Though we've only been dating for 4 months. Is that considered too early to start having sexual relations with somebody? I don't know.
We always make sure to be very careful. We don't want any accidents. I'm going to try to get the Depo shot today (birth control). Yet another sin. Condoms and birth control is a sin. But, I think this is better than going without and having a baby at 17 and not being married. =\ I'm nearly 18, I should be making my own choices. And I think I'm doing pretty okay, considering.
Though I have to keep it secret from my Dad. I don't want him knowing. I told just my Mom (she lives in another town). She's taking me to get it. I think I can trust her not to tell anyone. She can't tell my sister or ANYONE, or Dad'll find out. I don't want my sister or Dad or Gram finding out. I just need to make it another 7 months and Dad really can't be mad at me for being on birth control. I'll be an adult then....such a weird thought. Only 7 more months and I'll be 18....huh..

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1643642 tn?1300919324
by peace827, Mar 23, 2011
Hey.

I understand where your coming from. When you are a strong believer of God and you know he is always watching you, it does feel a bit shameless and kind of pointless. It's like you do sex and then what? It's a temporary thing. But over that temporary thing you are ruining your character and modesty.

I would say wait to get older, you will have lot of time for all of that. Your young age, stress free life won't come back. Enjoy being a kid because trust me You stay an adult for longer than a teenager.

If you love your boyfriend why dont you get married? If you dont think you can ever marry him then you should consider your relationship with your boyfriend.

And if your dad is against you doing sexual relationships at an early age there is a reason why he's that why. He cares for you and seeks to protect you until the time is right.

Anyhow God is watching, we will die one day and this life is a test for the reward in the hereafter. Patience is the Key.

God tests people in different ways and see's if they obey him or not. If you obey him that means you love him if you disobey him that means you are a slave of your own desires and you have no control over them.


PEACE.

There is No God but Allah and Prophet Muhammad is his final messenger.  


1643642 tn?1300919324
by peace827, Mar 23, 2011
But Remember *

God is forgiving. If somebody makes a mistake and then the person seeks forgiveness he will not be punished for it in the hereafter. Only if you dont ask for forgiveness and god forbid you die then you are accountable.

So long as you regret and try your best to not do it again - You'll be fine.

God likes it when you fear him, because he deserves you to be scared of him. After all he is all powerful, he can disable some and beautify some. You must always seek to please him which is the purpose of this life. To Worship One God, Allah.


A little description about him,

Allah is He besides Whom there is no god, the Everliving, the Self-subsisting by Whom all subsist; slumber does not overtake Him nor sleep; whatever is in the heavens and whatever is in the earth is His; who is he that can intercede with Him but by His permission? He knows what is before them and what is behind them, and they cannot comprehend anything out of His knowledge except what He pleases, His knowledge (throne) extends over the heavens and the earth, and the preservation of them both tires Him not, and He is the Most High, the Great.



1636874 tn?1311547431
by morgstang, Mar 23, 2011
Already told my Dad. Today actually. He's okay with it.
And as for marrying him, I would totally marry him. We've actually been talking about it, and I think he'll propose to me once we finish school. I would marry him in a heartbeat. If he asked me to elope with him right now I would drop everything and do it. I love him so much.
Even if we did end up splitting, I wouldn't regret him being my first. He's always been a special person to me. For 12 years I've known him. I wouldn't want anyone else to have been my first <3

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