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Not very happy

Mar 20, 2011 - 0 comments

I don't like Sunday nights. It's the night I have to leave my boyfriend (I know, I know, teenage clingy-ness, right?) and sleep alone. We don't usually sleep together in the same bed (except at my mother's), like at his parent's house. They don't like us sleeping together. Though it's kinda funny, we're SLEEPING, it's not like we're DOING anything. If we do do anything it's certainly not when we're sleeping, haha. But yeah. I get anxiety and stuff when I leave him.
But this weekend really sucked. He cried Saturday night, which really scared me. He NEVER cried in front of me except that one time in 3rd grade. But I never thought I'd see him cry again. I couldn't believe it, I thought something was really wrong. But it was just the whole week of work building up on him and I was kinda irritated with him all night about ignoring me and working and I joked around saying he was "neglecting me" and I cried before that day, because I was having a really hard time. And it just all built up, I guess. He hugged me really tight and I can't really remember what we were talking about. I said something and he looked up and his eyes were all red and there were tears and I was SO scared. I can't remember being so scared. He said he didn't want me to hate him and think that he didn't care about me or love me, because he really does love me so much. And I was just at a loss. =( Of course I kept hugging him and told him he was being silly thinking that.
I told him crying was okay, but I just hate seeing it. I started crying a little myself AGAIN. I hate crying, 'cuz I never cry. But he's seen me cry twice now, and it's a bit embarrassing.
But really, I hate it when guys cry. I mean, it's sad when a girl cries. But when a guy cries you just wanna hug them 'cuz it just makes you feel SO bad.
But yeah, I never want to see him cry again. It's not that it's "unmanly" to cry. It just, literally breaks my heart. But he was fine after a few minutes. He wasn't like sobbing. Just a few tears and the red eyes. I think he may have depression or bipolar depression. I'm not sure. I want to get him help, but he probably wouldn't listen to me. I'm going to try to convince him to get help if it gets any worse though. =(

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